SmartyPants
Active member
Hi everyone, just wondering if people do activities go out with people just so they have something to talk about?
Do you do things just so youve something to say to people?
- Thread starter SmartyPants
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In high school, I volunteer a lot and join several clubs (national honor society, art club, french club, etc) just so I have something to put down on my college applications. Plus, if any of those colleges interview me, I have something to talk about.
Now, I don't do this anymore, but I dread conversations with others because they will ask me 'what are your hobbies?' or 'have you visited such and such place?' and I wouldn't have much to say.
Now, I don't do this anymore, but I dread conversations with others because they will ask me 'what are your hobbies?' or 'have you visited such and such place?' and I wouldn't have much to say.
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Razzlecherry
Banned
Nope. I remember a quote from Plato (definitely not verbatim): "a wise man speaks because he has something to say; a fool speaks because he has to say something."
I do what I want to do, unless of course there's a risk of an uncomfortable encounter in the way. :bigsmile:
I do what I want to do, unless of course there's a risk of an uncomfortable encounter in the way. :bigsmile:
SmartyPants
Active member
Hi Laure15, when you was doing all the volunteering and going to several clubs did it help you? Because you had more things to talk to people about did you gain more friends?
Ive done this kinda thing like going to salsa classes, street dance classes and yes it really helps with having things to talk about with people but it doesnt feel reel. After the class it feels so good because its over
Im just wondering if this really helps or sets me back more as at times I really want time out of life: to drop any friends I have just so I dont have to talk about what I've done or not done.
JackOfSpades
Well-known member
I think its definitely a good idea to. Many of us complain how boring we are and it's usually because we avoid experiences. Of course we'd have less to talk about.
SmartyPants
Active member
Hi JackOfSpades, but can you really succeed at the thing you are forcing yourself to do if your heart isn't in it? Can it not make you more apathetic?One salsa class I went to I just couldnt stop crying. Sometimes I just cant deal with being around people; like I worked cleaning in an office and I'd have to do the job crying
Razzlecherry
Banned
I say do what you want to do. I think forcing yourself to thing's you aren't interested in is just plain silly. There are people that have interests similar to yours, even if they may be different and weird.
truffleshuffle
Well-known member
Having a new exsperince is what doing things is all about What if you had no intrest in something but someone you knew did and you kinda forced your self to go along and ended up actualy liking it? I often force my self to do things I know I don;t like just because someone else im around would and sometimes I end up having fun or atleast with more infromation than I had before.
Razzlecherry
Banned
^
bollocks
Obviously in the context of just having something to talk about.
bollocks
Obviously in the context of just having something to talk about.
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JackOfSpades
Well-known member
I didn't get the impression he meant forcing yourself, at first. Sometimes I think you do have to force or push yourself to do things, but within reason. I think its important to push your boundaries if you want to grow, but pushing too far I think can just become overwhelming.
truffleshuffle
Well-known member
How is that bollocks? If you never had any new exsperinces then you would never have anything to do or talk about anyway
truffleshuffle
Well-known member
But a wize man and a fool are not far apart
Razzlecherry
Banned
^
I disagree.
Also, read what he posted: "...can you really succeed at the thing you are forcing yourself to do if your heart isn't in it? Can it not make you more apathetic?"
This is suggesting that the experiences are being tried, and any new-found interest isn't being sparked. Therefore the point you're trying to make is moot.
And about this...
Don't you think it's a bit of a stretch to say that a person legitimately doesn't have ANYTHING to talk about? They have never done ANYTHING? They've done absolutely nothing. Just sat in an empty white room their entire lives. Actually, even that would work. I mean any sort of interest has even the smallest of followings.
I disagree.
Also, read what he posted: "...can you really succeed at the thing you are forcing yourself to do if your heart isn't in it? Can it not make you more apathetic?"
This is suggesting that the experiences are being tried, and any new-found interest isn't being sparked. Therefore the point you're trying to make is moot.
And about this...
Don't you think it's a bit of a stretch to say that a person legitimately doesn't have ANYTHING to talk about? They have never done ANYTHING? They've done absolutely nothing. Just sat in an empty white room their entire lives. Actually, even that would work. I mean any sort of interest has even the smallest of followings.
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Hi Laure15, when you was doing all the volunteering and going to several clubs did it help you? Because you had more things to talk to people about did you gain more friends?
Ive done this kinda thing like going to salsa classes, street dance classes and yes it really helps with having things to talk about with people but it doesnt feel reel. After the class it feels so good because its over
Doing all these volunteering and going to clubs didn't have much effect on me; I am still the avoidant, quiet, shy person that I was years ago. At the clubs, I usually sit alone and didn't talk much. Sometimes I study at club meetings (nerd! I know). The volunteer experiences were ok; I remember volunteering 2 months at a hospital, and the only thing that I looked forward to was the food. I had to bring food trays to the patients in the maternity ward, and I remember wishing I could eat some of the food (shame on me!) :sad:.
From these experiences, I didn't gain more friends, but I met some people whom I occasionally spoke to. I'm not close to any of them because we didn't have any classes together and don't live near each other.
My heart wasn't in many of the social experiences that I forced myself to do, even though I did them with little or no problems. They tire me out even more.
Razzlecherry
Banned
I dunno what that's supposed to mean.
JackOfSpades
Well-known member
Who is interesting to you?
Those people probably talk about, or do something that interests you, no?
So then how would you not see that by doing things, and having experiences, you'd be more interesting to people?
Also, the notion of just doing what someone wants is faulty because life is not entirely about gratification. And we often do things we dont want to do for a desired result. But that doesnt make the endeavor pointless.
Those people probably talk about, or do something that interests you, no?
So then how would you not see that by doing things, and having experiences, you'd be more interesting to people?
Also, the notion of just doing what someone wants is faulty because life is not entirely about gratification. And we often do things we dont want to do for a desired result. But that doesnt make the endeavor pointless.
I force myself to the volunteering and go to club meetings. I did this because I have ulterior motives. First, I wanted to have something to write for my college applications, I wanted to impress the admissions officers. I applied to get into an honors college and I wanted to be accepted. Secondly, I volunteered at hospitals because my dad wanted me to enter the medical field. He had high hopes for me to become a doctor. So being the good obedient child that I was, I thought I should try to get into the medical field. In order to increase my chances of entering the medical field, I applied to volunteer at several hospitals.
You see, I was forcing myself to do all these things not because I wanted to but because other people and society expect me to. My dad wants me to succeed in college and be a doctor, my friends volunteer and are success stories, so I felt a lot of pressure to do something to look "successful" in the eyes of other people.
truffleshuffle
Well-known member
exsactly what i am trying to say
