Difficulty in eye contact

[decadent88]

Yep guys, I have difficulty maintaining eye contact with everyone except my family and really close ones. ::

Curious to know anyone out there having the same. Also did any of you overcome it? If yes, HOW???

 

[Mikeyz]

Wow, that sounds exactly like me. I have that same exact issue with people, and I hate it. I'm looking all over the place when talking to people I don't know well.. I can only imagine what their thinking about me. Hope some people reply with some suggestion to get over it, cause I would love to myself. You're not alone man....

 

[Davide]

I can maintain eye contact but only for a few seconds, than I'll look at something else, and try to make eye contact for another few seconds, but I'm so focused on to looking normal and trying to make the other person think I'm interested in what he/she is saying, that I focus more on trying to make eye contact than to listen to what the person is saying, lol.

 

[this_portrait]

I can maintain eye contact but only for a few seconds, than I'll look at something else, and try to make eye contact for another few seconds, but I'm so focused on to looking normal and trying to make the other person think I'm interested in what he/she is saying, that I focus more on trying to make eye contact than to listen to what the person is saying, lol.

I do the same thing (make eye contact for a few seconds, drift off, then make it again).

 

[MaliceInWickedland]

I have the same problem. I think I spend a lot more time looking at the ground or my shoes than anything else ::

 

[userremoved]

Like a few other people have said, I look the person in the eyes for maybe three second maybe look at something to the side of them, then look back at them. Not turning my whole head because it may seem like your disinterested. I cant remember where I heard it, but I heard its better to do that than lock eyes with them because it may make the speaker uncomfortable. Not standing too close helps me too.

 

[decadent88]

yeah,.. I too can make eye contact.. for a while, then .. I donno, it seems my eyes get locked on to the other persons, then I feel awkward and uneasily look elsewhere.. haha.. this is so messed up!

 

[Kiwong]

I look away quickly from most people.

 

[mikebird]

That's why I HATE the TELEPHONE

I find it very strange that humans still rely on a phone to speak to people wherever they are or where you are. Animals wouldn't like it.

I deeply prefer reading & writing, so you can take you time to do it, or make it really quick if you need to, and wait for the recipient to respond. The only eye contact you need is a screen & keyboard

 

[TorontoListener]

All humans are wired such that if too much eye contact is given between males it is a sign of aggression, and since we don't want to start a fight, we make sure not to give too much eye contact. But in shy people, this is especially so, and we end up not giving enough eye contact.

Good eye contact is necessary for establishing intent and portraying confidence, and for shy people it takes practice. Remember that if you always look away or at the ground people judge you as submissive.

A good book on the subject is The Power of Eye Contact, by Michael Ellsberg.

 

[Agent_Violet]

i do fine with eye contact unless i really dislike the person. i get this paranoid feeling they can see the sheer dislike in my eyes if i look at them. stupid i know...but i can't help it.