Difference of Opinions

[kuhtreen]

Do you ever feel stupid if someone disagrees with you? Sometimes I'm afraid to speak my mind because if the person doesn't agree then I feel like an idiot. I know it's not true, but I get the feeling like they're right and I'm wrong and I get embarrassed or something..

This thread is kind of ironic though because people are either gonna agree or disagree with me ::

 

[Danfalc]

This thread is kind of ironic though because people are either gonna agree or disagree with me ::

lol that made me chuckle...Erm..i think im quite an opinionated person (stubborn ass might actualy be a better word lol)...so i tend to stick to my guns.

But with be not being very assertive and insecure I think i want and feel the need for people to agree with me otherwise i do feel stupid.

 

[WelshOne]

Do you ever feel stupid if someone disagrees with you? Sometimes I'm afraid to speak my mind because if the person doesn't agree then I feel like an idiot. I know it's not true, but I get the feeling like they're right and I'm wrong and I get embarrassed or something..

This thread is kind of ironic though because people are either gonna agree or disagree with me ::

Yip, I can very much relate to this.

I worry that if someone disagrees with me, they will like me less, or think badly of me... it makes me tread very carefully, and I usually try to find out what THEY think of something before I say what I think!

 

[WelshOne]

Its funny, right now Im argueing/debating the whole Michael Jackson thing on another forum. Im pretty much standing alone with my open-minded opinion, against maybe 3 or 4 others who wont accept any other possibility than him having been a sick pervert. And it really isnt bothering me.

However, if someone in real life wanted my opinion, I would be more nervous - especially if it was someone I was seeking acceptance from. Also on an internet forum you have more time to think of what you want to say! Having to defend your opinion on the spot is a bit more tricky.

 

[kuhtreen]

Its funny, right now Im argueing/debating the whole Michael Jackson thing on another forum. Im pretty much standing alone with my open-minded opinion, against maybe 3 or 4 others who wont accept any other possibility than him having been a sick pervert.

Well let me say, I am definitely on your side! I have always loved Michael and accepted him for who he is. Nobody is perfect, but he is one hell of a musician and that's what I think people should be thinking about right now.

 

[Kinetik]

I can't take criticism well at all, and that manifests in all aspects of life - even when it's perfectly okay to have your own opinion. If someone disagrees with anything I say or feel, I immediately feel like I'm wrong, instead of seeing it for what it is - a difference of opinion. It's almost like my values are in danger of being monopolized by anyone who speaks up or challenges me in any way.

I notice that even on this forum. If I write something, and someone quotes me and tries to dissect my post or analyze what I've said in any sort of negative light, there's a good chance I'll feel stupid, uncomfortable, and embarrassed the rest of the day - to the point of feeling like my skin is burning up and/or not wanting to log on and check for replies.

 

[Quiet Angel]

I'm fearful of expressing my opinions in general.

 

[kuhtreen]

I can't take criticism well at all, and that manifests in all aspects of life - even when it's perfectly okay to have your own opinion. If someone disagrees with anything I say or feel, I immediately feel like I'm wrong, instead of seeing it for what it is - a difference of opinion. It's almost like my values are in danger of being monopolized by anyone who speaks up or challenges me in any way.

I notice that even on this forum. If I write something, and someone quotes me and tries to dissect my post or analyze what I've said in any sort of negative light, there's a good chance I'll feel stupid, uncomfortable, and embarrassed the rest of the day - to the point of feeling like my skin is burning up and/or not wanting to log on and check for replies.

Yeah, I completely relate to all that you said. Sometimes the fear of someone disagreeing with me will actually prevent me from posting a thread on this forum. It's not really a strong fear, it's just that I don't want to put myself through the discomfort. It's like I take it personally when someone doesn't agree with me.

 

[dtrotter]

Do you ever feel stupid if someone disagrees with you? Sometimes I'm afraid to speak my mind because if the person doesn't agree then I feel like an idiot. I know it's not true, but I get the feeling like they're right and I'm wrong and I get embarrassed or something..

This thread is kind of ironic though because people are either gonna agree or disagree with me ::

Well, i used to feel like this too, always have the need to "please/follow them"? If some disagree with me,i'll feel very inferior, as if "i failed align myself with the cool crowd".

 

[Rodox]

I can be the most flexible and kind guy you have ever seen,but I still look out for myself......

 

[wo.]

Yeah I can related to that too. I used to get quite embarrassed whenever I was wrong. I also used to be somewhat stubborn too, which made things worse. Then I learned to accept that I'm not perfect and that it's okay to be wrong sometimes. I went from being stubborn to being too passive: I used to always back down in a disagreement and say 'oh no, maybe you are right...' even when I was still pretty sure I was right. Eventually I became more assertive and found a happy medium.

It might help you to observe other people. You'll probably notice most people are wrong once in a while, and some people are wrong all the time (and yet very insistent). This can help build your confidence. Also learn to laugh it off when you are wrong, since this is usually the worst that will happen (sometimes people might find something you said funny if it is completely wrong, but that is okay!). If people are ever rude or insulting just because you made a little mistake, then those people are not worth spending any time interacting with in the first place. Few people are that rude though!

 

[recluse]

I'm so weak because i have minimal assertion as i am afraid of falling foul with everyone. Many times i have gone along with others opinions even though i disagree with them.

 

[mrb]

Well let me say, I am definitely on your side! I have always loved Michael and accepted him for who he is. Nobody is perfect, but he is one hell of a musician and that's what I think people should be thinking about right now.

yea i dont belive he was a sick perve , the media will make a mountain out of a mole hill if it sells papers

 

[recluse]

I don't believe he was a child molester either. He was innocent minded i think, a child in a mans body. I remember seeing the interview of him with Martin Bashir before the last time he was accused, he appeared so childlike himself, because he was robbed of a childhood due to fame. I think he was making up for what he had missed out on. He actually said on the programme that he ''sleeps with children''.....Of course the interviewer twisted it to make it sound sexual. I know it's not normal for a grown man to have children for sleep overs but i do believe he was truly innocent and childlike. Sadly and rather foolishly he put himself in the position where it was easy for him to be accused.

 

[Nicholas]

Do you ever feel stupid if someone disagrees with you? Sometimes I'm afraid to speak my mind because if the person doesn't agree then I feel like an idiot. I know it's not true, but I get the feeling like they're right and I'm wrong and I get embarrassed or something..

YES! I hate to be judged, and since unfortunately that's happened all my life... how can I have some self-esteem? I am afraid of showing I am sensitive, afraid to show I have problems, afraid to disappoint or bore or bother others... because around here (in real life) it looks like you have to be a tough confident conformist guy for people to like you. So whenever it somehow shows I am weak and sensitive, or whenever I try to talk about something important to me, I feel like I'm the weird one, I'm the one who should be criticized, and I feel hot in my face.

 

[Cynic]

around here (in real life) it looks like you have to be a tough confident conformist guy for people to like you.

That is the case just about everywhere.