Didn't u find a Job yet ?

[maiato]

I receive this question many times lately and I feel super uncomfortable. Especially because it appears in a suspicious manner which is normal because I'm not working. But as the situation tends to drag worsesg the way I feel.
This happens with you?
Thanks in advance for all responses.

 

[deleted user 1]

I'm in exactly the same position. I don't know what else to say about it, lol.

 

[maiato]

LoL thanks anyway!

To get worst some time ago when i went to supermarket near by i was confronted with the same question. I really go there often, different schedules, and for awhile i give math private lessons to the daughter owner. But i still got the feeling that he might thinks i dont do nothing for life.

If a almost stranger thinks that, I just cant imagine what goes on my friends mind.

This is really painfull!

 

[VirtualDiva]

Wow, it's like these forums are a page straight out of biography of my life! I've had a problem with working because of overwhelming anxiety, which is new for me. I feel weak and useless because I am not contributing to society. I feel that everyone who knows looks at me the same way. Ive had 2+ years of college, but over the past year or so I cant use the knowledge Ive learned and paid so much for. I dont really have a good support group because no one really understands what Im going through. I have 2 kids and just life's simple hassles seam to stress me out too much. I feel all alone even though reading these forums makes me realize there are others out there struggling like me.

 

[maiato]

welcome to forum virtualdiva! u'll find here lots of painfull stories as mine! I finished my degree some years ago and i just dont work on the area cause of my social phobia. To get worst with my degree i easily could get a job, so people normally just seems strange the fact of not being working...and that makes me feel worst!

 

[VirtualDiva]

Thank you. I agree with you, Im reaching 30 in a few months (not too many women would tell you their age) but Im too honest; anyways I still dont know what the heck Im doing with my life. They say everything has a purpose and there's also a reason for the things that happen. Not so sure about that. Once again thank you for your welcome.

 

[maiato]

Thank u for the confidence! By the way i'm 28...so i really can imagine what are u going trough! Every day that goes by without finding or job (or worst dont even have energy too!) it seems a running against the time....and that feeling just frozes me! And things just get worst.

I guess all this problems as to be with the fact i've been jumping from job to job (always me giving up) and to get worst it all start with my first job after graduate. So there is always a ghost remember me that experience that become the worst of my life!!

 

[Hottie]

Ahhh the good old "why havnt you gotten a job yet" question. It usually is followed (well for me) by "your just so lazy".

I know im not lazy (sometimes maybe!!), but i want to go out into the workforce and give my contributation. Because i finished 3 years in college (very difficult because of anxiety, as you all know), i am now expected to work. WORK, the word even makes me shudder. The work im ment to be going into is an area where you work with people, communicate with each other and they know well what anxiety is as they have studdied it.

How am i expected to work in this area. I really want to but id be afraid they all know im anxious and then id be paro that their all talking about me.

I currently volunter twice a week in a helpline and im very proud of it, one because i dont even want to leave my house and its actully an achievement for me to get outside and two because it is something i like doing (besides the anxiety).

I really dont know where ill end up though....

I think that we should all aim for things we will like to do and try to forget about anxiety. While typing that my anxiety says "dont talk crap you will never be able to that!", but i will try to fight against it and try to stay positive............but its so difficult to...

 

[lurknomore]

I can kind of relate- I'm 32, and I am working, but it's in barely above minimum wage jobs. I have finished college, but I have found the job application/interview process very stressful, and can't even think about going at it full force right now. It's very awkward when my family asks about my job search- or I start talking about needing to get a new/different job (but the same kind of thing I'm currently in, it would be easier to get) and they just say "but you have a master's degree."

I feel completely incapable of getting a job in the career field I studied for, and don't even like contemplating looking for any kinds of jobs. I've been treated like crap at my full-time job the last couple of years, but no matter how mad I get, I still can't bring myself to quit and get something else.

 

[DespairSoul]

"JOB" huh scary. I failed by all tries. I try it hard enough really on this condition and how i feel i did. But i couldn't take it, to much people, to much paranoia, no sleeps just few hours cuz of fear what will be next day in work.

Edit> Oh well and famous question : U don't have job yet? Where do u work? Do u finally find work? I know all of type questions what could be. I hardly dislike it and feel ashamed about it as well a lot. I just reproach is bad crisis situation, or oh i couldn't find nothing etc. and assumption of people: "She is lazy, mom spoiled her so much she don't wanna work now and only lazying around house."

 

[Hottie]

I feel completely incapable of getting a job in the career field I studied for

what did you study ???

 

[lurknomore]

what did you study ???

Accounting. I have zero self-confidence, and even if I can fake some in an interview, the years I've spent in school have wreaked havoc on my credit, and "networking" seems to be important, but I'm no good at that.

 

[Aussie_Lad]

The answer to the question in the OPs post, is "No, why have you got something for me?" and when they say that they haven't you say "well what's the good of you then". See what happens here, you have turned the question around so the focus comes off you and goes back onto the person that brought the subject up to begin with.

 

[deleted user 1]

"JOB" huh scary. I failed by all tries. I try it hard enough really on this condition and how i feel i did. But i couldn't take it, to much people, to much paranoia, no sleeps just few hours cuz of fear what will be next day in work.

Edit> Oh well and famous question : U don't have job yet? Where do u work? Do u finally find work? I know all of type questions what could be. I hardly dislike it and feel ashamed about it as well a lot. I just reproach is bad crisis situation, or oh i couldn't find nothing etc. and assumption of people: "She is lazy, mom spoiled her so much she don't wanna work now and only lazying around house."

I'm with you on that! It's very frustrating. My last job was such a bad experience it left me traumatised! LOL. Seriously, it's tough to keep scrape yourself off the floor. I just don't have it in me right now.

 

[Falkor]

best answer is ''No, I'm still looking''
Even though you have SA and would be terrified to have a job,
they know u are working on it
i can understand though, it's a stupid question :/

 

[Hottie]

Accounting. I have zero self-confidence, and even if I can fake some in an interview, the years I've spent in school have wreaked havoc on my credit, and "networking" seems to be important, but I'm no good at that.

i done social studdies/care. All the people i would work with would know about social anxiety and i feel that they'd be able to read me like a book. I really dont know what step to take next.

I have applied to go back to college - i REALLY REALLY DONT want to but it will be better than getting a job because i can miss classes and days...with work there would be no chance in that happening!!!

 

[maiato]

best answer is ''No, I'm still looking''
Even though you have SA and would be terrified to have a job,
they know u are working on it
i can understand though, it's a stupid question :/

"No, I'm still looking" is my brand last 1year...and the other 3years before have been jumping job to job! that answer dont stick anymore

I've study civil engineering for 5years....and everyone confronts me with the idea "there are looking for them a lot in foreign countries"....well they are right! So I dont have much options to reinforce that point of view for much longer...!!

 

[ILovePocky]

I get asked this a lot. Since I just graduated high school my friends all are either working, going to school, or both. I'm the only one who has no clue what to do with my life. I had a job last year but it made me SO nervous I couldn't handle it and had to quit. >.<
When I talked to my friend about my anxiety and looking for a job, she actually responded "Well, who would hire you anyway?" :/

 

[deleted user 1]

I get asked this a lot. Since I just graduated high school my friends all are either working, going to school, or both. I'm the only one who has no clue what to do with my life. I had a job last year but it made me SO nervous I couldn't handle it and had to quit. >.<
When I talked to my friend about my anxiety and looking for a job, she actually responded "Well, who would hire you anyway?" :/

Friend? That's laughable! I tell you something, arrogant, know-nothing imbeciles such as your "friend" are not appreciated in the work place either... in fact, less so. I'll stake my reputation on that.

 

[BlackPuma]

I used to hate that question.

It send this cold chill down my spine, and knew that I'd either have to endure the 'disappointment'-look, or the 'you should really get a job already'-speech. One of those questions that could make or break the day, and the few that followed.

But the pushing, however heartbreaking at times, can be a good thing. I used to try and avoid the question at all cost, but eventually I got talked into meeting a job counselor. I was CONVINCED it would end in me not being able to handle it, and even more damaged then before. I was scared during the meeting. I was scared during the job interview. And I was absolutely mortified on my first day.

But that was nearly 4 months ago, and I'm still actively working there 3 times a week. To some degree, it's still scary, but doable. And the relieve of being no longer being unproductive is indescribable.

I guess my point is; don't feel bad about the question so much. It are just words compiled to form a sentence. The meaning behind it is mere curiosity. The question itself will not suddenly put you into any situation you don't want to. The initiative to find a job will come from you, and you only. Which will happen when you're ready to do so.