Did therapy work for you? :/

[Missing]

I guess this is kind of a rant, and from my last topic, I'm expecting a lot of "no"'s

I just got back from therapy, and I feel worse than ever.

I feel like therapy is mainly just "I feel like shit and I hate all the bad things happening to me." "Ok. Well, you shouldn't." "...ok."

It does feel good to say how I feel, but the response I get makes me bummed out. I KNOW I should/shouldn't feel/think that way, but I DO.

I also feel myself holding back A LOT because she often asks/hints at me getting committed and no thank you... I have enough struggle with anxiety, I don't need more crap tossed into it.

Also in regard to my "complicated grief"... I brought it up again, about how I couldn't see a future without them. How I felt bad that they're gone, and NOW I'm trying to get happy with life. I also said I felt bad not thinking of them, because I'd never want to give the slightest hint that they didn't mean as much to me as they really did. She flat out said to me "They're dead. They don't know how you feel or think. Their life is over." Today was the first day I could even say they died. Before, I could only get myself to just say they were gone, or "when I lost them". I'm not saying I'm an uber Christian and God is my life or anything. But I always try to hold on to some hope that maybe there is something. Maybe they DO see me and know how I feel. I don't know... It just felt like a slap in my face. Like she was tired of talking about it.

It also seems like the things not important to me, are important to them. But things important to me, aren't important to them. She even says that I don't seem so bad because I crack jokes and laugh. I use humor when I feel awkward or uncomfortable. It's not because I'm having a good time.

They're even adding another professional soon and I'm just tired of all the appointments and medication. All I really want are some damn sleeping pills that actually work so I can sleep more than 2-3 hours a night.

I feel horrible if I asked to stop, but I feel like I'm starting to say what they want to hear.

What's your experience with therapy? Help? Hurt? Did nothing?

Blah D;

 

[nicole1]

I hate therapy. I'm not going to say people shouldn't go, but for me, I don't feel it's all that helpful. I feel that it's more of a bothersome task that I must complete every week. I think that therapy is a bit faulty. They don't see you every day in all situations and are relying on things you may or may not remember in sometimes shorty details.

I use to want to be "fixed," whatever that means. Now, I just work on building my own happiness. After examination of what makes people happy, I know it's usually bulls stuff. But at the center of that bull stuff, is selfishness usually. So, I decided, I may seek help from therapy sometimes, but I'll definitely work on my happiness in my own way.

 

[Rawz]

It sounds like you have a bad therapist, and other health professionals that aren't good at their job or just don't care and are just doing the bare minimum of their job to get paid.

I don't think therapy will ever help you if you don't have a good therapist (and other professions that get involved) that works well with you.

I've had a therapist before that didn't seem that good at it, that seemed to just kind of good through the motions, etc.

But after that I found a very good therapist that really seemed to care, was good at what she did, and help me learn about myself and other people, and encouraged me and motivated me to try things and improve myself. It helped a lot.

But. That doesn't mean it fixed me. That doesn't mean I'm so much happier and healthier and productive and a much different person. Therapy can only do so much, but the same can be said about anything.

 

[Earthcircle]

A resounding NO.

I probably won't go into details, because when I do, some people say I'm lying. Well, maybe it's enough just to say no.

 

[Missing]

I probably won't go into details, because when I do, some people say I'm lying. Well, maybe it's enough just to say no.

I'd love to hear your story if you're ever willing to tell it. I don't see a reason why you would lie about it, so I wouldn't think you're lying at all. I blahlbah on the forum/PMs a lot, but it does give a sense of relief afterwards.


I agree that it does require a good therapist/professionals. I just can't see myself asking to be moved to someone else... It was a three month wait to even see her.

It was alright at the start, but it's starting to feel like she's tired of the same problems I bring up. And the worry of being committed somewhere scares the hell out of me, so I've started saying what I think she wants to hear.

It's been 5 months since my loss. It feels like she thinks I should be over it by now. I thought she knew what complicated grief was since she and one other professional diagnosed me with that. This loss is constantly on my mind, and now I feel like I shouldn't talk about it anymore. I felt like I was maybe moving forward to the point where I can say they died. It hurts so bad to even type it. Then she smacks me in the face with her comment.

I feel that it's more of a bothersome task that I must complete every week. I think that therapy is a bit faulty. They don't see you every day in all situations and are relying on things you may or may not remember in sometimes shorty details.

I agree 100% with this. I dread every week the day I have to go in. More so now after that comment.

It's also hard being 100% honest with them when you're afraid they're going to send you off. I have this packet of papers to fill out and it asks about suicidal thoughts, previous attempts, etc. I just want to lie about it all so they don't freak out and cage me.

I can say it's helped a little. I stop blaming myself for things, or at least I'm working on it. I know in a lot of ways, I don't WANT to let myself be happy in fear that the next time I crash, I'm really going to burn. I've also been this way for as long as I can remember.

When does therapy even end? I keep adding on more professionals and I'm wondering when is all this going to end. I'm never going to be "fixed". When is enough?


I should start each of my posts with "Dear Diary," xD

 

[Sammie_Kay]

I cant answer the question because when I went I was really little and dont remember much.
I can say now that today other people have told me that I should go see someone to talk to (aka a therapist) which freaks me out and I wouldnt,couldnt. My issue is talking to people specially strangers, so how could going to one help me. I much rather come on to this site and talk to you guys or the few people I know that suffer from the same stuff like me.

I am sorry to hear about your loss.
There is nothing wrong in feeling like the people,pets or anything living that you loss doesnt see you and know how you are doing and thinking. Everyone believes differently. I believe that even tho we lost people or pets that they can see and know how much they mean to me and they are watching over me.

Dont give up who you are. You are awesome and just need to work out some kinks! I hope you have a wonderful day! Remember to take some deep breathes !!

 

[Earthcircle]

Some really strange things happened in therapy. The worst was that a therapist lied to a psychiatrist on campus, telling her that I had symptoms of schizophrenia. In reality, I was not psychotic at all. There were no symptoms. I was ordered to see the psychiatrist with no explanation given to me. The psychiatrist put me on anti-schizophrenia meds which affected me very badly. The therapist lied to the psychiatrist yet again saying that I was doing well on the meds -- a total lie. I suffered for 6 months on inappropriate medication without even being told why I was on it. The therapist would often hint that I might be institutionalized.

Years later, I got the case notes and figured out what happened. I am very bitter, but when I've tried to tell this story in another forum (also for SAD), someone began flaming me saying that my story is a lie.

This occurred when I was a teenager. Now I am pushing 50. I had much therapy afterward, and bear in mind that I did not immediately understand precisely what happened to me. Anyway, looking back on the therapy experience, did it benefit me? Hell no! I won't lie and say that it did. I don't care what anyone else says. Money, time, dignity -- so many things were taken from me, and nothing of value was given to me.

 

[nicole1]

I agree tons, @ Missing. I've given up on trying to be "fixed" and am now working on self acceptance, being happy with myself, being myself and not living by what others think is normal, and just going to therapy for the hard stuff. Like finding a job or my anger. A lot of my anger, frustrations, and self-doubt comes from dealing with people when it comes to my SA. But the more I follow this self-acceptance, I'm starting to feel better.

I don't look at therapy as the cure all that I use to. Like they could give me golden advice that could cure me forever. I'm going to always be like this, I accept that and I just want to be happy and actually live, you know? I don't think therapy is the key, but it doesn't fully hurt when it comes to help with maybe a few ideas on coping and learning to work with others.

@ Earthcircle, at the end of the day, they are simply people being paid to listen to our crap. Dealing with MANY doctors and several therapists and psychiatrists, I've learned, they all have different opinions on the matter. I understand and I'm quite bitter about my medical experiences as well. I'm sorry you experienced that and it sounds like they didn't consider you the patient as an actual person.