Did I miss out?

[Haus]

Alright so my ex-girlfriend (whom I secretly dislike very much) invited me to hang out with her and her friends at some small party. Part of me wanted to go because it seemed like a good opportunity to meet people and socialize for once in my life. I wanted nothing more than to rid myself of this 'shyness' curse but I ended up turning her down.

I don't think it was shyness that was holding me back as much as the fact that the people at this party were not so much my kind of people. In my mind I figured: "I could use all the opportunities to socialize as I can get, but surrounding myself with things I hate isn't a good place to start".

Another problem is that I've never really gotten into the whole 'drinking and partying' thing. I've always thought that people that did those kinds of things were bad. Lately though, I've been thinking that this kind of thing is a necessary evil if I'm ever going to break out of my shell.

So by not going to this party: did I miss out or did I make a logical choice?

 

[Aussie_Lad]

The past is the past, you will not be able to change it, so don't stress about it. If you think you made the wrong choice, then learn from it and move on. You will never know what could have happened if you'd made the other choice, so all you can do is consider your options if the chance happens to come around again.

 

[Haus]

Right you are. Next time - I'm going, whether I like it or not. ::

 

[guessed]

the people at this party were not so much my kind of people.

What would you consider your kind of people? I mean, what types of things would your kind of people value and be interested in?

 

[jamez]

You probably didn't miss out on anything.

But only way to know for sure is by attending these events. I think you should take every opportunity for new experiences, that way you know first hand what you like and dislike.

People who drink and party are not bad, they just want to have fun.

 

[Waybuloo]

First of all she is your ex-girlfriend, so there might be some weirdness between you and that could cause awkwardness since they are all her friends. Secondly you don't find the drinking partying crowd appealing and that's understandable. I feel somewhat like that, I pre-judge people based on this behaviour, but I suppose I drink too and most young people probably do it to fit in or because that's all they know to do to have fun. Even if you won't miss out on much, you won't know for sure until you experience it. I've gone to a few events of this kind and I don't think I'll bother much unless it's someone's 21st, 30th, 50th, 80th, or 100th.

 

[TimArends]

In my opinion, if the drinking and partying scene isn't your thing, I don't think you should try to force it. This is probably not the best way for you to meet people. There is a lot of pressure to be outgoing at this type of event.

People think that drinking will make them more outgoing but some studies have found that this isn't the case at all, drinking actually makes people close up, but they think they became more outgoing!

If you want to practice in overcoming shyness, there are lot of less high pressure settings that you can get into such as a volunteer group, club, church, etc..

 

[Whychosis]

I'm not saying you're going to go out and get hammered tomorrow to fit in, but I'm going to be frank.

I'll tell you now that no evil is necessary. Nor has it ever opened the door to something positive. If you needed alcohol, weed, whatever to socialize (or just to put yourself around it) then what does that say about you? It means you're dependent on a substance (other than medication) to function around "normal" people. I'll admit I drink and smoked a lot of pot. Yes, I fit in more. Though I was fitting in with the wrong people. These "normal" people made alcohol and drugs the key to their social lives, thus being dependent. No good truly comes from the use of these things. They're not required to have meaningful conversation or to simply unwind. The users only make it this way. There ARE people out there running on what God gave them. These days it may be more difficult, but they're out there. Indeed socializing is a good thing for the soul. Though at the cost of your body and/or mental stability is most definitely not worth it. You're better off growing alone wise than self-destructing in a group of morons.

I speak from experience

 

[PunkRotten]

Be yourself. If your friends jump off a cliff, would you jump too? You don't need to drink and party as the only way to be with people.

 

[punklove]

I don't think you missed out at all. Going to a party with your ex and a bunch of people you don't really like doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Maybe if your ex said you could bring one of your close friends you would have had fun