destroying yourself

[Luna1740]

anyone else here ever feel like just completely destroying yourself? Like i will fantasize about being back on drugs or living on the street and just throwing away my life, and the thought of it makes me feel so good in the sickest way possible

 

[Hellhound]

Some people (my family included) destroyed me. Now it seems I am destroying what it's left.

 

[mismeek]

i do... sometimes i just want to go back to the old way sooooooooo bad but then i just remember i wasnt happy then either.

 

[mmichel07]

yeah sometimes. But i push these thoughts away and i live my life trying to be a better person. i will continue to live so i can reach a point were i am happy.

 

[Rexus]

ya i'm with mmichel07. Keep your heads up guys.

 

[AGR]

YouTube - Suicidal Tendencies - Self Destruct

 

[EscapeArtist]

Rrr, it's a feeling that's been driving me insane lately. I fantasize about so many ways to hide/crush myself into thin air, drugs being one, I sometimes fantasize about becoming an alcoholic (but I hate alcohol and all it does to those I love...), I go months overeating to the point that it hurts every day, and then go months under eating to the point that I get muscle spasms 3 times a day from malnutrition. Sometimes I see how long I can go without water, because I see this kind of damage as 'safer' damage than drug addiction and it's less expensive... I dream up some sick ****, and I know I truly don't want it, It's just that I've forgotten how it feels to be healthy and confident and I can no longer crave it. I've also lost a lot of my passion for things with being housebound, I feel like i'm trapped with myself and I just want to be absorbed into the air and forgotten.. Lastly, I'm craving comfort, something I've never received, and I assume if I was damaged everybody would try to comfort/help me for once. But c'mon, if we ended up achieving this, we'd face the harsh realities of these fantasies, the attention that comes with support would end up making us feel more worthless, eventually you come to the realization that damage is NOT enjoyable in any sort when it consumes you. We just have addictive personalities I guess, so as soon as we step up our lives in the direction we yearn for we will become addicted to success. Just learn to use your low self esteem in the right direction... Er, I'm not sure. Did that make sense? Ah..

 

[stephen]

When I was younger all I wanted to do was obliterate myself but my self-loathing has kind of mellowed these days.

 

[Ignace]

I know what you mean, i fantasize about getting an overdose or being a junkie too. How must it be ? Do you really don't care about others ? Too bad it's so addictive, expensive, dangerous(not counting for ppl who don't care) and illegal.::

 

[BlackPuma]

I've been there, but not by drugs or anything like that.

Fantasize about it if you must, but just don't ever do it. Whatever you feel now, will be times a dozen in that kind of state. I think this mentality is caused by people thinking ''Things can't get any worse. I'm just going to stop fighting.''. But trust me, there's always a lower nudge on the suffering scale. Take what you have, a try to move up, not down. :3

Not to sound angry or negative or something, but just bare it in mind.