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- Thread starter BlackPuma
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Silvox Black
Well-known member
Of course, life is but one sad game with drifting souls avoiding shame. Most of the players simply are unaware their true motive is avoiding embarrassment and shame. There is a way to overcome such fears of giving the appearance of being shy. Namely building up trust with close friends and self-confidence. Afterwards, a sense of self assurance should gradually form which will allow you to act in a calmer manner in social settings.
Yup, I feel like this quite often as well 
. Just know that your fear of being seeing as afraid is ridiculous because most people don't ever notice it - what they notice is the effect that being afraid of being seen as afraid creates - you getting nervous about it. Try actually being afraid (but not start sweating/turning red/being ashamed about it) and notice that people don't even notice or care much that you are afraid. They do notice when you start to sweat/turn red/ and avoid eye contact... cause that's just weird (what 'normal' person does that? Hehe only us ).
It's like when you're afraid of being embarassed... you think about not being embarassed so much that you end up embarassing yourself by freaking out (sweating/blushing/etc.) - but if you had just allowed yourself to be embarrassed in the first place, you would be pleseantly surprised to see that it would not have happened.
. Just know that your fear of being seeing as afraid is ridiculous because most people don't ever notice it - what they notice is the effect that being afraid of being seen as afraid creates - you getting nervous about it. Try actually being afraid (but not start sweating/turning red/being ashamed about it) and notice that people don't even notice or care much that you are afraid. They do notice when you start to sweat/turn red/ and avoid eye contact... cause that's just weird (what 'normal' person does that? Hehe only us ).It's like when you're afraid of being embarassed... you think about not being embarassed so much that you end up embarassing yourself by freaking out (sweating/blushing/etc.) - but if you had just allowed yourself to be embarrassed in the first place, you would be pleseantly surprised to see that it would not have happened
.This actually makes very good sense, thank you. :3
It's like when you're afraid of being embarassed... you think about not being embarassed so much that you end up embarassing yourself by freaking out (sweating/blushing/etc.) - but if you had just allowed yourself to be embarrassed in the first place, you would be pleseantly surprised to see that it would not have happened
That's true, when you think about it it's a little silly. Well, thank you. Maybe by putting it into perspective next time, it won't be such an ordeal. ;3
practice my friend. All it takes is practice - and lots of it! Or if you want, you can "cheat" and use medication ... or weed (though that can get you in trouble )
... or weed (though that can get you in trouble )practice my friend. All it takes is practice - and lots of it! Or if you want, you can "cheat" and use medication
That's one benefit of living in Holland, weed is legal here. ;D Well, when you do it at home, of course.
Though, I don't use it. I'll take an Ibuprofen or Aspirin when I'm having a headache, but otherwise I like to stay 'clear minded' if you will. :3
But I must note as time progresses, medication is becoming more and more appealing. The good feeling of strong ethics is rather weak compared to the negative feelings of depression and confusion.
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^Totally man. It's not "bad" or "weak" to cheat if you feel you can't handle it anymore.
Take steroids for example - for normal people, taking them can be considered cheating as they are creating something that is unnatural from their bodies to achieve something. But steroids are also used to treat people who have a deficiencies/diseases - would you consider that "bad" or unmoral? I wouldn't. The same applies to us - the medicine helps us achieve something that we have a huge lack-of, it is not giving us more of something that we don't need
Take steroids for example - for normal people, taking them can be considered cheating as they are creating something that is unnatural from their bodies to achieve something. But steroids are also used to treat people who have a deficiencies/diseases - would you consider that "bad" or unmoral? I wouldn't
. The same applies to us - the medicine helps us achieve something that we have a huge lack-of, it is not giving us more of something that we don't need i have same situation...whenever i was nervous or frightened, i afraid of people in front of me can feel it, and i tried to smile with very happy face.now my smile is automatic. But gradually, it become a puzzled smile since its not true with my feeling. Im a musician, so i play for a lot of singers ( or person who want to sing ). When they talked with me, they feel uncomfortable, and i thought i get mad with them or i hate them because my face look too stress and upset ( i angry myself not them ). Now they consider me as a prissy musician.I just want to show everybody know, i love them a lot but i couldn't do what i want to do..my real personality in somewhere depth inside me.i want to take it out..
Sick Nick
Active member
People see me afraid, shy, etc. almost everyday man. They even think I am retarded (or so called special) sometimes. I won't lie it sucks.... But I just be the nice guy that I am and force myself to smile or communicate with people and sometimes I get used to it. Regardless of my ticks or anxiety I try till I get better or I just tell myself this is me and they have to live with it not the other way around. I am capable of a lot more than this disease can restrict me from. Fight!
bluesavannah
Member
you wrote, "What really bothers me though, is when I get a little anxious, even the tiniest bit. I can't help but obsess about what signals I send. Meaning I start to concentrate on every blink, every breath, every contraction on the tiniest muscles in the body.. Of course, this doesn't help, because it seems ironic the more you try to act ''natural'' the less natural you start to act.
Causing me to become even more anxious and scared. Then, the last straw is usually when you see people's expression that clearly interprets that they know how uncomfortable you are. Until right before that expression I'm usually doing pretty fine (in my book), but after the expression, it's usually when experiences begin that leave the most damage."
Wow! This forum is really freaking me out. This is spot on for me. The minute I preceive the "look" from the person or persons I'm engaging with, well, its all over with from that point on. I will bury myself trying to FIX that look on their face but all the while the look just keeps getting worse and worse and when I leave and I see the relief on their face that the ackwardness of me is over I just want to die...
Causing me to become even more anxious and scared. Then, the last straw is usually when you see people's expression that clearly interprets that they know how uncomfortable you are. Until right before that expression I'm usually doing pretty fine (in my book), but after the expression, it's usually when experiences begin that leave the most damage."
Wow! This forum is really freaking me out. This is spot on for me. The minute I preceive the "look" from the person or persons I'm engaging with, well, its all over with from that point on. I will bury myself trying to FIX that look on their face but all the while the look just keeps getting worse and worse and when I leave and I see the relief on their face that the ackwardness of me is over I just want to die...