Deep, lonely thoughts whenever I see a beautiful girl.

[Social_Monstrosity]

I don't think he meant 'aggressive', but 'assertive'. You have to have your own opinions and not do everything your girlfriend tells you, or cling to her like a child.

You should not appear desperate by following her every command. You need to know when to accept or decline, and show her that you are a tough shell that only she can crack, but let her know that it's going to take a lot of effort, and she will be spending a lot of time with you just to figure out a way to do that.

Do not appear interested in her (romantically) at first. Treat her like how you treat every other girl, so that you don't appear needy, but give subtle hints that you want more of her, but don't make it too obvious. Her instinct will draw her to you.

You don't have to like shopping just because she is a shopaholic. Instead, read up about fashion and suggest clothes for her, or when you accompany her to a shop, do not simply stand outside or wander off while she is in there trying out the outfits, but follow her in, take a look at the clothes on display, and offer meaningful tips on how she would look in some of them.

You must never change yourself completely just to get her attention or to get her to like you. The fakery is very obvious if you do that. You have to keep your own personality, because it is what will make a girl like you, but learn more about the things she likes, and show that you do care about her interests and not only your own.

This may be true for some, but not me. I HAVE to completely change my entire attitude and lifestyle if I am to ever even attempt to get close to a girl.

 

[x000x]

You are not alone, Social Monstrosity. I feel like too when I'm around girls that I find attractive. I also feel like this after I get to know a girl and become her friend. I will feel like the girl doesn't see me as a friend or want become more than a friend with me. This causes me to get very depressed. I've spent a lot of time trying to get to know a few girls (one for a few months and two others for more than two years) and none of them liked me as more than a friend. I'm not even sure if they even liked me as a friend because two of them liked a friend of mine more than me. One even invited me to her house for the first time, after knowing her for three years, just so she could be with my friend. She admitted this to me several days later. well, I've taken this completely off track now, so I'm going to end this post here.

 

[klytus]

I don't see what's so offensive about it...If I had a girlfriend I'd like to show my affection for her all the time regardless if there are people around or not...

I would like to do it, too, but only in private. Interpersonal affection is not a public concern. In public, I would be cold, emotionless and professional towards her, as I am to everyone.

You don't think lovers should be able to hold hands when they go for a walk because someone might see them and get jealous?

People can do what they want. But why would they do it publicly? Only to make others jealous of what they have built. Why do people preferably wear designer clothes? Why do people wear (fake) Rolex wristwatches? In general - why do people publicly display what society deems status symbols? It is not about the act of couples showing their affection in public, it is about the motivation that underlies this. If it is to show that they belong together ( "no one else can have him/her!" ) I find it inappropriate, as I would not see my partner as a possession of mine, nor do I want to be seen as one.

 

[no1]

I don't think he meant 'aggressive', but 'assertive'. You have to have your own opinions and not do everything your girlfriend tells you, or cling to her like a child.

You should not appear desperate by following her every command. You need to know when to accept or decline, and show her that you are a tough shell that only she can crack, but let her know that it's going to take a lot of effort, and she will be spending a lot of time with you just to figure out a way to do that.

Do not appear interested in her (romantically) at first. Treat her like how you treat every other girl, so that you don't appear needy, but give subtle hints that you want more of her, but don't make it too obvious. Her instinct will draw her to you.

You don't have to like shopping just because she is a shopaholic. Instead, read up about fashion and suggest clothes for her, or when you accompany her to a shop, do not simply stand outside or wander off while she is in there trying out the outfits, but follow her in, take a look at the clothes on display, and offer meaningful tips on how she would look in some of them.

You must never change yourself completely just to get her attention or to get her to like you. The fakery is very obvious if you do that. You have to keep your own personality, because it is what will make a girl like you, but learn more about the things she likes, and show that you do care about her interests and not only your own.

I think... that mindstate really messes things up. By the time a woman is done reading that all the men in her mind are 'too clingy, too feminine, etc.'

Hey some guys are just different. And it really doesn't have to do with being "feminine" or "less masculine". Weakness is not simply a feminine characteristic.

ALso, people like this shouldn't be abandoned. They should be helped to become more independent. If they are not prepared to be independent then how do you think he/she will handle loneliness? Probably will get worse because he/she doesn't know what to do or how to go about finding out. Don't abandon them and don't make fun of them because they are the way they are for a reason.

"Things are hard for the weak and poor, and easy for the strong and rich." yea I dunno where that quote comes from. But some poeple are just more prepared than others, people don't have to think of any as inherently inferior. They all do things for a reason even if it seems like no reason.

 

[Cynic]

I get this strange lonely feeling whenever all three of us are hanging out

In that case, don't hang with him when she is around.

 

[Cynic]

Most pretty girls don't know they are pretty. All of them think they are fat.

They know when they're out of your league. They find out from both the quality and quantity of guys who hit upon them. Therefore to say that they don't know they are pretty is naive.

There are very few exceptions to that from what I can tell. What I really want to tell you, is that there are tons of pretty girls who would never want to hurt your feelings.

Nonsense. Most of them take delight in cutting down any guy they see as beneath them.

 

[Ashiene]

Most girls who are pretty know that they are pretty. How? Because of all the attention they get and the compliments too. That is why many pretty girls don't care about average looking/average personality type of males, because they know they can get almost anyone they want, and naturally they want the best males, with good looks, good personalities, good jobs, good lifestyles, etc.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

yep, and they do genetic testing on you, and compare your DNA to other guy's DNA and they think about whether your features would look cute on a little girls face, if she ever gets knocked up. Then they inspect your teeth and your feet, kinda like dogs, you know? Teeth indicate overall health. If they ever hug you, they are really doing a sniff test to assess hygiene.

 

[thor01]

Yes I do get this feeling. For me I get it most when I see nice girls because I'm never in situation where I would even get a chance to get to know them. So it hurts in side knowing they're for someone else who will get the chance to know them.

Most girls who are pretty know that they are pretty. How? Because of all the attention they get and the compliments too. That is why many pretty girls don't care about average looking/average personality type of males, because they know they can get almost anyone they want, and naturally they want the best males, with good looks, good personalities, good jobs, good lifestyles, etc.

And yes I know, this makes it even harder. Life is unfair in this way. If this was naturally made to be a need in life then why can't it be easier to get? Maybe just because of the society we live in.

 

[Nicholas]

yep, and they do genetic testing on you, and compare your DNA to other guy's DNA and they think about whether your features would look cute on a little girls face, if she ever gets knocked up. Then they inspect your teeth and your feet, kinda like dogs, you know? Teeth indicate overall health. If they ever hug you, they are really doing a sniff test to assess hygiene.

You're kidding, sarcasm, right? LOL, I have to say that I agree with you, what you said in your other post is true... "perfect" girls are not perfect in reality (as you put it, they fart too and their farts don't smell like strawberry, LOL).
I know there are a lot of beautiful girls who are sensitive and don't like jerks, don't care about money or too much about a guy's physical aspect BUT... but my negative thinking (if I wasn't pessimistic I wouldn't have problems and wouldn't be here, right? : makes me paranoid and so I still see girls and romantic relationships as something very far away, which makes me sad and frustrated, like the member who started this thread.
Because if there are enough sensitive girls around, that doesn't mean they are all looking for a sensitive guy like me. In fact, most of them end up being with jerk-like boyfriends anyway. Even if they would love sensitivity, the thought of a guy who is confident, financially secure, possibly good-looking and who might become less of a jerk over time is still very appealing even to sensitive, nice girls.

Note to myself and others: what I just said contains negative thoughts as always. What I just said implies I think I will never be confident or financially secure. We should stop thinking that way and we all know it. If we don't change, our only hope is we'll find the most rare kind of girl ever: the compassionate nurse, who is in danger of extinction.

 

[Argamemnon]

Lacking confidence almost seems worse than cancer... it really destroys one's life.

 

[Rodox]

Guys just remember that not all girls are the same,just like us,they like diferent things,not all of them like the confident asshole type,you just need to find those girls,dont lose hope,if one doesnt like you,its no big deal its not like we are running out of women

 

[Cynic]

Guys just remember that not all girls are the same,just like us,they like diferent things,not all of them like the confident asshole type

No one can help who they are attracted to, and as the confident, arragont jerk type is the most numerous and most successful, it makes sense that all women are attracted to them. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but the evidence stares you in the face.

 

[Rodox]

No one can help who they are attracted to, and as the confident, arragont jerk type is the most numerous and most successful, it makes sense that all women are attracted to them. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but the evidence stares you in the face.

People have different tastes,yes even girls,those tastes sometimes varies with time,some people have the same taste for the most part of their lifes,depends on the person,I realize most girls like guys that most people would think is an asshole,but there are some who dont, thats why I said you need to find them,so many girls out there, that you are going to find some who will like you and respect you for who you are....

 

[Skatergirl]

Aww :: Well you know what i think,
People with social phobia are more like, thinking about others.
So they are in fact really good to other people.
And i think they mostly all have a great personality.
and so i think you all.. social phobic's can be a great soulmate to someone.
So someday you will have your soulmate by your side.
I dont like someone with a boost of confidence and with a SELFISH self esteem,
They are mean and rude!
So believe in yourself. And everyone can find the right,
Because the world is full of people!!!!

believe in your self

 

[Argamemnon]

I'm against Public display of affection (PDA). I'm against people showing off what they have, that's very immature and quite ridiculous.

 

[Rodox]

I'm against Public display of affection (PDA). I'm against people showing off what they have, that's very immature and quite ridiculous.

Why do you guys think this way?
I am pretty sure if you had a girlfriend you would do the same,its all part....
I know if I had a nice girl I wouldnt hide her or my affection for her,in fact I would want to show her and how I love her to the whole world.....

 

[Ashiene]

Why do you guys think this way?
I am pretty sure if you had a girlfriend you would do the same,its all part....
I know if I had a nice girl I wouldnt hide her or my affection for her,in fact I would want to show her and how I love her to the whole world.....

It's like being a rich person who goes to a very poor town and shows off his money. How do you think the poor people would react? They would feel ashamed of themselves, and wished the rich person hadn't done that.

 

[Cynic]

I know if I had a nice girl I wouldnt hide her or my affection for her,in fact I would want to show her and how I love her to the whole world.....

Do y ou seriouslly think the whole world would care?

 

[klytus]

I know if I had a nice girl I wouldnt hide her or my affection for her,in fact I would want to show her and how I love her to the whole world.....

I will repeat myself: I would want to show affection, too, but only in private. Interpersonal affection is not a public concern. In public, I would be cold, emotionless and professional towards her, as I am to everyone.

In theory, people can do what they want, as no one cares. This about the motivation for showing affection in public, though. So, why would they do it publicly? Only to make others jealous of what they have built. Why do people preferably wear designer clothes? Why do people wear (fake) Rolex wristwatches? In general - why do people publicly display what society deems status symbols?

It is not about the act of couples showing their affection in public, it is about the motivation that underlies this. If it is to show that they belong together ( "no one else can have him/her!" ) I find it inappropriate, as I would not see my partner as a possession of mine, nor do I want to be seen as one.

And I definitely have no desire of letting others know. I cannot find a good, rational reason for the public display of affection.