Dealing with being Gay - 20/male

canadian731

canadian731

New member
Anyone having trouble accepting being gay? I've become very depressed because of it and basically stopped hanging out with all my friends. I haven't told anyone about it either - don't feel comfortable. Add me on MSN if your in a similar situation - [email protected].
 
Richey

Richey

Well-known member
The people that are homophobic are the ones with the problem not you so you really dont need to stress about it, i'm not gay but i once had a close relationship with a friend simply because we got on so well and spent time together just goofing around and having a laugh, around six years ago in early high school that i'd always be thinking about that friendship and how special it felt, it made me realise that its the person/soul you connect with can have an impact on the human psyche ...

ever watched friends and joey and chandler were really close, it was like that because i remember often thinking if my friend was a female i'd probably have asked out, weird i know, he even wanted to kiss one time which for me was a freak-out because i really dont feel any attraction to men in general but in this particular case it was a possible exception but i did refuse ...

nothing like this has occured since and i'm a straight person but it awakened me to understand that depending on circumstances and environment things like that can have an influence that can be out of control, two people can click no matter what gender/agenda and it can happen to any person, potentially, for me it was because of the relationship ...

maybe talk to those people and try to instill in their heads that you are normal, the same person as before, its normal in todays society...

the problem you'll find is the conflict of societies norms and expectations that most people grow up thinking that there are ways of living life that is set-in-stone and rules that people must follow to keep reputations in tact, its rare but great to be in the company of people that have no hang-ups or prejudices to the choices of the individual ..
 
bretters

bretters

Well-known member
Hey, im gay and found it hard afew years ago - feel free to send me a message if you wanna talk it out,im not a big fan of msn.
 
N

not registered

Guest
i told my friend a few days ago...he wasn't even suprised, and he didn't care.
i asked what he thought of gay people, and he said it must, adn will, be accepted.


it just depends on what friends you have, if they are racist, you'd better not tell 'em.


i even dropped a friend who has a more redneck view of life...
 
L

LonelyBoy

Member
hi, im also gay. i used think like that all the time. i just assume that everyone around me is homophobic and it really got me all depressed for thinking that no one is gonna accept me.
im still dealing with it though, even though my parents knew im gay its still hard for me to embrace who i am. maybe its because i used to live in a homophobic place for so long and all i hear is negative things.
also send me a message buddy. its nice to know that there's a few gay members in this site.
 
L

lilmizsara

Member
hey pls dont feel bad abt your sexual orientation. thats just the way you are, if people can't accept it, your better off without them too. like someone said above the ones who are homophobic are the ones with issues, not you. so dont feel bad. :)

that said, there are ppl like me out there who are very accepting of gays. i have a number of gay male and female friends and i like them cause they're great ppl, and their sexual orientation doesnt affect or offend me. a person isn't defined by his/her sexuality. you dont have to live ur life in accordance with social norms and conventions. so pls dont feel miserable. do cheer up :)
 
H

HopelessStranger

Active member
If I had friends I'd be sure to have a gay friend(s). In school I see guys that are gay. I feel as though they are judged all the time and I feel just like them. But hey they had more friends then I did. Be happy you got friends especially ones that you can hang out with. If people judge you then they are wrong. Most people just ignores gays because they have never been around such kind of people a lot. People are all the same no matter what their sexual orientation is. :) Don't worry, be happy.
 
Pookah

Pookah

Well-known member
I live with 2 gay roomates, one is my brother. I can understand somewhat what it is like to have this hanging over your head, being afraid of what family and friends will do and say. It must be very hard. It depends on what your friends and family are like and what your hometown is like.

If you have fairly understanding people around you then I think if you slowly tell the people you trust then eventually you can tell everyone you are comfortable with. You don't need to have some kind of shout it from the mountains moment because it is just part of who you are and part of accepting it is to remember it shouldn't be as big a deal as our society has made it. Some people are artists, some people are shy, some confident, some are straight and some are gay...etc. It is what makes you who you are, a part of it but not your whole self....you remain you and your friends should see that.



Edit: I've just been told this thread is like a year old, so just take my post as a general advice for ppl in this situation. :)
 
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R

ryan2022

Well-known member
Hey Just a quick thought for you.

I'm friends with a guy that I've begun to wonder is gay. Ive known him for years. We meet up once in a while and just hang out.

What bothers me is that if he is gay, he's afraid to tell me!! I would have no problem being friends with him, and would feel better knowing he was comfortable enough to tell me.

If I knew he was keeping it a secret I would feel terribly.
 
Falkor

Falkor

1
I like girls :) And I don't think i should keep it as a secret, I told it to most of all my friends and family :) Although some family members don't know yet..
They always ask.. ''Still no boyfriend?'' I have the intension to say.. ''Noo i like girls !'' Cuz I really want them to know cuz they are family :)
But.... in the past I was really afraid of coming out.. I was always nervous cuz I don't know how they would react.. But (almost) everyone was happy for me!

And about your friend, the right time will come when he will tell you if he's gay
Don't worry about it ;)
 
Tiercel

Tiercel

Well-known member
I wonder if the OP is still trying to "deal with being gay," or if he's accepted it and is moving forward.

To me, "dealing with" something gives it a negative connotation. Like dealing with a sore ankle, or a bad head cold. Or being bald on a sunny day. Yes, homosexuality might be something that some heterosexuals have to "deal with," but their problems lies within themselves.

Luckily, the people that have problems with variety usually hate other groups, too. They'll think that all black people sell drugs and shoot people, and that all atheists are secretly trying to destroy the religious and moral fabric of America, etc. The best way to "deal with" these people is to excise them from your life completely.

For the record, I'm not gay. And I've never understood what the big deal was with others' sexual orientation. It's always made about as much sense to me as disliking someone for their taste in food.

"He likes crawfish, but not lobster. Stay away from him."

:cool:
 
Walk

Walk

Well-known member
After being about 17, I found homophobic thoughts to be immature.

And I'd like to point out that I find most gay adult males (not teens, but men in their late 20's and up) to be happier than straight males, though that's just my impression which may very well be inaccurate. Just saying.
 
EasySkankin

EasySkankin

Well-known member
Everyone has the right to like whatever they want... society is so hard on people who are different though... thus, why most of us have social anxiety :/. The only thing that I don't like about gay males, is that they hit on me a lot! :D At first I was like "WTF?", but now I'm more easy about it, and I'm just like whatever.. they don't hurt me by liking me, though they it does gross me out a bit, but it's no biggie :)
 
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