dad told I had no life
- Thread starter Clown
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Piece_By_Piece
Well-known member
I remember when last summer my mom told me the same thing. It made me feel really bad to hear it from someone like my own mother, yet I am completely aware of the fact that I don't live my life / have one.
I'm really sorry for what you feel. But I can relate, since I try to change things as well, probably not enough, but I still try, but I don't succeed because I feel like I'm too deep in all of this.
I'm really sorry for what you feel. But I can relate, since I try to change things as well, probably not enough, but I still try, but I don't succeed because I feel like I'm too deep in all of this.
well ive been told that my entire time on earth by a few different people.notice i didnt call it 'life' because i honestly dont have one.its easy to recommend just getting out there more but if you are crippled with avoidance or depression/anxiety, it isnt that easy.whats sad about my life is i force myself to do socialt hings these days just to say i did them not because i enjoy them.
OceanMist
Well-known member
Hmm, my parents are kind of weird. They care way more about financial and working success than social life. They stopped complaining about me once I got a job, yet when I stopped hanging out with friends they didn't really care.
Something I've learned from posting on here, actually, is to not care what your parents think of your life. You should do what you want because it's your life. I'd advise thinking for yourself and trying to please yourself if you can. Just because they are your parents doesn't mean they know what is best for you.
Something I've learned from posting on here, actually, is to not care what your parents think of your life. You should do what you want because it's your life. I'd advise thinking for yourself and trying to please yourself if you can. Just because they are your parents doesn't mean they know what is best for you.
I'm sorry your dad said that to you 
that must have hurt. However, everything happens for a reason and it could be that that was the line that is going to make you want to change.
It's sounds like you're depressed, and I can say that one of the worst things for depression is inactivity. Can you try to get a job or go to school? It may be difficult to do, but I notice that when I'm not working or doing something with my time my depression will get worse. When I'm busy with myself (not too busy to the point of stressing out, but busy) I do not feel as depressed. I know it can be hard to go out and do things, but then again, if you aren't doing anything or going anywhere, your feelings of depression and wishing you wouldn't wake up will only get worse. You have to find motivation from within. And I disagree with the notion just to go to a therapist and expect things to get better--you must want to get better, or therapy won't really help. There has to be a force within you that wants change, and I think there is something inside of you that doesn't want to live that way anymore.
Also smoking will only make your feelings worse. You mean marijuana, right?
that must have hurt. However, everything happens for a reason and it could be that that was the line that is going to make you want to change.It's sounds like you're depressed, and I can say that one of the worst things for depression is inactivity. Can you try to get a job or go to school? It may be difficult to do, but I notice that when I'm not working or doing something with my time my depression will get worse. When I'm busy with myself (not too busy to the point of stressing out, but busy) I do not feel as depressed. I know it can be hard to go out and do things, but then again, if you aren't doing anything or going anywhere, your feelings of depression and wishing you wouldn't wake up will only get worse. You have to find motivation from within. And I disagree with the notion just to go to a therapist and expect things to get better--you must want to get better, or therapy won't really help. There has to be a force within you that wants change, and I think there is something inside of you that doesn't want to live that way anymore.
Also smoking will only make your feelings worse. You mean marijuana, right?
razzle dazzle rose
Well-known member
I've also been told I have no life. It is quite the punch to the gut...because what can I say to that? They are just stating a fact.
The advice is easy to dish out, I agree. But nothing worth fighting for is ever easy, you know? Getting out of this hole will never be easy. Something has to be done though.
Forcing yourself to do social things you don't enjoy may seem sad, but you are putting yourself "out there". That is good. It is so hard for many of us to just do that. Maybe the next step is figuring out what sort of social activities you do enjoy?
Yeah! I really like this. I have known it for a while but it is hard to really believe it and put it into practice. My mother's voice is inside my head and it is hard to ignore. We really should do what will make us happy. Perhaps what worries our parents is that we are not doing anything...not pleasing them or ourselves. I don't know. For a while I was paralyzed: not doing what I was supposed to do but also not doing what I wasn't supposed to do either. Just doing nothing. It is a sad existence. Anyway, we may not have a life now but that doesn't mean we cannot do something about it and create a life for ourselves. It won't be easy of course.
The advice is easy to dish out, I agree. But nothing worth fighting for is ever easy, you know? Getting out of this hole will never be easy. Something has to be done though.
Forcing yourself to do social things you don't enjoy may seem sad, but you are putting yourself "out there". That is good. It is so hard for many of us to just do that. Maybe the next step is figuring out what sort of social activities you do enjoy?
Yeah! I really like this. I have known it for a while but it is hard to really believe it and put it into practice. My mother's voice is inside my head and it is hard to ignore. We really should do what will make us happy. Perhaps what worries our parents is that we are not doing anything...not pleasing them or ourselves. I don't know. For a while I was paralyzed: not doing what I was supposed to do but also not doing what I wasn't supposed to do either. Just doing nothing. It is a sad existence. Anyway, we may not have a life now but that doesn't mean we cannot do something about it and create a life for ourselves. It won't be easy of course.
Azael
Well-known member
My father said that to me a few times in the past, though I wasn't much phased by it as he was inferring that I don't go out drinking like 'normal' people. He never did have a good set of morals of common sense. At the very least I'm glad I never ended up like him.
Sorry to hear you feel this way. It's not your fault, everyone needs that break to get going. I've read how a lot of people here never seem to get it. That's not your fault. You keep trying, and that takes a lot of character. It isn't easy picking yourself up when it all goes wrong but don't give up. You'll get your day eventually, and it will be all the sweeter for everything you've gone through to get it. Hang in there Clown.
Sorry to hear you feel this way. It's not your fault, everyone needs that break to get going. I've read how a lot of people here never seem to get it. That's not your fault. You keep trying, and that takes a lot of character. It isn't easy picking yourself up when it all goes wrong but don't give up. You'll get your day eventually, and it will be all the sweeter for everything you've gone through to get it. Hang in there Clown.
hasnt any thing to do with work or school , because when I did that and had still many friends my depression was almost the same, sa and depression is not the only thing im facing also gad going crazy about the non-stop worrying and tension its been this for 7 years enough is enough... things wont change
Azael
Well-known member
I've had AvPD for a little over twelve years now, and I can say that were I able to escape my family I would have blossomed significantly. This can without question be beaten. There are many people here who are testimony to how far you can go to overcome these problems. While there's a breath in your body there is always a reason to fight this, it's most certainly not over for, not unless you roll over and die.
What exactly are your goals? What do you want to change about your life? And what are you doing to change it?
What exactly are your goals? What do you want to change about your life? And what are you doing to change it?
Richey
Well-known member
such a patronising and naive statement though as well as extremely rude and arrogant...
everyone has a life to start off, each is different in some way. i've had it a few times from authority figures in a really emotional way and when they say it i somehow bring it back to them and say "oh so your life is all roses and parties is it?" (their lives are usually empty). Ya know. I mean its such an unhelpful outburst. So to say that to me when your life is clearly not that much busier on a social level is just pathetic. Go and take your anger out on something else instead of me and talk to me like a human being instead and learn about empathy and proper people skills before claiming to others that they need to get a life. Particulalry when i do play sports etc. at certain times of the year, it may not be all year long so sometimes it looks like nothing much is happening but i like to read, like music, teach myself music and drawing as well as many other things which i believe constitutes "having a life" in some form, i go to work etc.
really annoys me when people start with that get a life crap. if you mean "get a social life" then say that instead, well..actually don't even say that, just show some proper conversational skills and talk to me in a down to earth way about it.
everyone has a life to start off, each is different in some way. i've had it a few times from authority figures in a really emotional way and when they say it i somehow bring it back to them and say "oh so your life is all roses and parties is it?" (their lives are usually empty). Ya know. I mean its such an unhelpful outburst. So to say that to me when your life is clearly not that much busier on a social level is just pathetic. Go and take your anger out on something else instead of me and talk to me like a human being instead and learn about empathy and proper people skills before claiming to others that they need to get a life. Particulalry when i do play sports etc. at certain times of the year, it may not be all year long so sometimes it looks like nothing much is happening but i like to read, like music, teach myself music and drawing as well as many other things which i believe constitutes "having a life" in some form, i go to work etc.
really annoys me when people start with that get a life crap. if you mean "get a social life" then say that instead, well..actually don't even say that, just show some proper conversational skills and talk to me in a down to earth way about it.
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SAM2011
Banned
Hi Clown. I can understand that it might have hurt you by your dad saying that. Parents want their kids to do something with their life, not to just sit around at home until there 40. They want their children to grow up, have their independence and make a life for themselves. He doesn't want you to just sit there in your room doing nothing on you computer. Maybe try and start getting out of your room more often, maybe help your dad around the house or something, go and ask a friend out to the movies or something. You are probably just feeling down. I really can't stand it when people make depression an excuse. Staying in your room is making you more down and not the best thing to do. Don't think you'll fail, you wont. One step at a time. Make a starting point to change. I hope your ok
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KiaKaha
Banned
It does sound like you are a bit depressed and inactivity can make it worse. However I do think that your father should be a bit more sensitive to how you are feeling. Saying that you have no life to someone that is already feeling bad about themselves is not the way to handle things... It just makes them feel worse...especially by someone as important in your life as your father...he probably didnt mean to hurt you, but a bit of tact and sensitivity would of been more helpful.
With all due respect I disagree with this statement. People who are depressed cant help feeling the way they do....particularly severe deprssion where it consumes you entirely... its not like a light switch where you can just turn it off and get over it. I cant stand it when people think other people use depression as an excuse...when they are not....they are ill and they need help.
With all due respect I disagree with this statement. People who are depressed cant help feeling the way they do....particularly severe deprssion where it consumes you entirely... its not like a light switch where you can just turn it off and get over it. I cant stand it when people think other people use depression as an excuse...when they are not....they are ill and they need help.
SAM2011
Banned
I realize that!! What I was meaning as it can be that your extremely down. People can make excuses by blaming it on depression when really their just down and need a lift. I suppose depression can come in all forms. I didn't mean for it to come out in a harsh way. I don't really know Clowns circumstances.
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