Coworker is making me miserable.

SmileMore

Well-known member
I work with this middle aged lady who is very nice as a person but at the same time i feel like she's dragging me down.

She seems to have a LOT of personal problems. I mean, i have had my fair share (SA, OCD etc) but i try and keep my personal life, personal. She, on the other hand, seems to have this NEED to tell EVERYONE in the building about her personal life. She'll literally corner people just to tell them about it.

I think that i'm a pretty good listener and i don't mind helping people when i can but she takes it to the extreme. I work alone with her all day so there is no escape from her going on and on.

One of her biggest problems was to do with her husband. She went on and on for over a year saying how she was leaving him and that she was only still with him because she had nowhere else to go. She asked my advice about how she could find somewhere else to live and i even researched online for her to try and find any helpful info i could.

Now all of a sudden she's going on 3 holidays with him this year (he's paying) and she's going on about that. He pays all the bills so all of her wages are hers yet she acts so hard done by. I struggle with having enough money for food every month (she knows that) yet she's going on about her holidays.

There's a lot more things that i could tell you that she moans about/has problems with, on a daily basis but i'd run out of space to write it. I'm just sick of her using me for emotional support. I even managed to get her a dentist but i go no thanks for it. It's incredibly draining but i don't know how to change the situation.

I try and act disinterested when she starts talking about herself but that doesn't work. It's like she wants everyone to know her personal business. I really don't know what to do.
 

DepravedFurball

Well-known member
Oh, yah. The 'Queen Bee'-type of person. She bee-lieves (haha) that the entire needs to centre around herself, with no exceptions.

There's no cure for that kind of person, though. Even calling them out on a lie that you catch them in does nothing to hinder their un-quenchable thirst for attention. In fact, they might even laugh about getting caught, then use that as a queue to talk about how they've been a pathological liar since they were five, and their mother caught them with their hand in a cookie jar, even though *she* wasn't going to eat it but actually feed it to the dog and, oh, speaking of dogs, there's a dog-park near where she lives and she's thinking of getting a black lab but not any black lab more one of the English-versions of the black labs 'cause she saw one once in a movie and, oh, speaking of movies....


Yah... you get the point. >.<


I suggest bringing a big, outrageous, almost-*garish* pair of ear-muffs to work, and as soon as she starts talking, make a *huge*, *dramatic* point about putting them on....

She'll laugh, though, and then start to tell you why she stopped wearing those kinds of things back in the second grade...

Probably best just to look for a new job.
 
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LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
This is an obvious answer, but I think you should start looking for another job. I don't think she will change and it sounds like there's not enough distraction to just ignore her.
 

Lilly789

Well-known member
umm.. find another job? are you kidding??

This is a work place, and what she is doing is entirely inappropriate, and not acceptable.

The adult thing to do would be to STOP her, politely that is, and say something like, "Im really sorry *name*, but Im really uncomfortable with personal discussions like this at work. I really hope everything works out for you, but can we please keep the conversation to something less personal".

You need to be polite, but DIRECT.

Alternately, go to a manager and tell them that she is pushing inappropriate personal conversation onto you in the workplace and you would like it to stop. They can have a nice quiet word to her without mentioning names.. if shes doing it to everyone, they will already be aware.

Managers actually have a legal responsibility to stop things like this happening in the workplace.
 
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LoyalXenite

Well-known member
umm.. find another job? are you kidding??

This is a work place, and what she is doing is entirely inappropriate, and not acceptable.

The adult thing to do would be to STOP her, politely that is, and say something like, "Im really sorry *name*, but Im really uncomfortable with personal discussions like this at work. I really hope everything works out for you, but can we please keep the conversation to something less personal".

Alternately, go to a manager and tell them that she is pushing inappropriate personal conversation onto you in the workplace and you would like it to stop. They can have a nice quiet word to her without mentioning names.. if shes doing it to everyone, they will already be aware.

Managers actually have a legal responsibility to stop things like this happening in the workplace.

I agree, otherwise say sorry but I have to concentrate on this *indicate your work* or some similar excuse.
 
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