Could use a bit of advice. PLEASE

mismeek

mismeek

Well-known member
So Ive recently became good friends with my neighbor Tahne. We hang out all the time and I love her family. She has three younger brothers and Ive now become good friends with the oldest too. I LOVE it when all three of us hang out and do stuff together. Ive never had two close friends before...really ive never had any close friends. I like Tahne and her bro because they make me feel good about myself in different ways. Tahne makes me feel stronger as a person and motivates me, and her brother makes me feel less anxious and we have the same taste in humor and music. I assumed since they were brother and sister that they would share the information i tell them about myself with each other.. but I guess they don't and Tahne feels like she's become the third wheel and that I share more secrets with her bro than her. I don't want to become between them and kinda feel like I should just stop being friends with both of them to be fair, but then I would be all alone again.

Now i feel anxious talking with either of them because I don't want to upset Tahne. We're all suppose to be going outta town to a pow wow together, but now I'm afraid I'm going to have a Panic Attack on the trip because of all the tension.

I don't know what to do.... any advice?
 
PunkRotten

PunkRotten

1
What does it have to be that way? All 3 of you cant be friends? Or is there something else going on, like maybe you are interested in the brother in a romantic way and its obvious?
 
mismeek

mismeek

Well-known member
well tahne doesnt want me to hang out with her brother when im hanging with her because she said i dont know how to divide my attention equally... which I don't. Im not used to being the center of attention and having people vie for my attention.. its a little uncomfortable actually.

He brother did admit that he was attracted to me but I already explained to him that I don't date. period.
 
PunkRotten

PunkRotten

1
The shame is the jealousy in it. The girl sounds kinda childish. Jealousy over here brother? I cant understand why people make things complicated. Let the cards fall where they may.
 
Damaged

Damaged

Well-known member
Have you told them all about your panic attacks? I know its quite hard but if im going somewhere with people i do explain to them that i might have one and that i just need positive energy and take it step by step at a time when going out, this seems to make me feel more comfortable around them and makes me less likely to have a panic attack.
 
LookingForward

LookingForward

Well-known member
Honesty...
Tell the girl you love being friends with her...
"not used to being the center of attention", "don't know how to split my time"... stop making excuses, it is not difficult to show the girl some attention if you want to, she is feeling rejected, you should know very well how that feels, not nice...
You have been given what sounds like two very nice friends, a chance that a lot of people would die for... don't mess it up by being too self absorbed.
If you are uncomfortable or anxious in any way, tell them, or tell her, I'm sure she would appreciate knowing a few little secrets about you, and might bring u closer together. You don't have to tell her everything in depth but a little hint of what you are feeling. People don't always want to be constantly burdened with others issues so don't lay it on too heavy...
Good close friendship is an amazing thing and can change the whole course of your life, but it is something that needs to be worked at, like any relationship, you need to do your bit too...

Sorry if I sound a little harsh but I really don't want to see you just back away from the chance at having some good friends, I really hope it all works out well for you... best of luck...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top