Complaining About Therapists

[Zod]

I think you're misunderstanding the concept of being in the now. It doesn't mean being totally ignorant of the future and not planning. It just means centering your attention, being mindful so that you become more calm and can deal with "problems" better, without a lot of unnecessary bagage and self-talk that the mind brings. It can help me at least to be more practical, instead of wanting to run away from life.

Goals are good for practical reasons, no doubt, but seeing how we're always in the Now anyway, we shouldn't let the mind obscure it or make it more problematic then it is.

 

[FriendlyShadow]

I've see two therapists one was really helpful. The other was not very helpful at all. Same with counsellors, one was unhelpful, another was very helpful. None of the therapists really cured anything they gave me some ideas and techniques to work on.

It's funny because one of my speech therapist is absolutely dense when it comes to telling her my problems. I swear, anything I say the problem and fault is always going to bounce back on me. My counselor on the other hand is a little bit understanding/smarter, though she's not exactly any better than my other therapist. All they're doing is telling me things I want to hear and not exactly helping me with the issue even if they think they are. My speech therapist says things like Everyone is different or you'll change you mind(they contradict themselves when they say everyone is different, but yet they're telling me to change something about myself. -_-) about something or that she actually wants me to engage in a conversation first. I'm not saying it's bad that my therapists want to help me, but what's wrong with it is that they don't have enough capability to understand the things I went through and they completely overlook them. And I think they have a much easier time telling me these things because they aren't living in my situation and so they give me unhelpful advice.

 

[Earthcircle]

It's funny because one of my speech therapist is absolutely dense when it comes to telling her my problems. I swear, anything I say the problem and fault is always going to bounce back on me. My counselor on the other hand is a little bit understanding/smarter, though she's not exactly any better than my other therapist. All they're doing is telling me things I want to hear and not exactly helping me with the issue even if they think they are. My speech therapist says things like Everyone is different or you'll change you mind(they contradict themselves when they say everyone is different, but yet they're telling me to change something about myself. -_-) about something or that she actually wants me to engage in a conversation first. I'm not saying it's bad that my therapists want to help me, but what's wrong with it is that they don't have enough capability to understand the things I went through and they completely overlook them. And I think they have a much easier time telling me these things because they aren't living in my situation and so they give me unhelpful advice.

This is very different from the bulk of my experience with therapists. Generally, they followed a kind of Freudian model where they would just sit there and either say nothing or rephrase whatever I had just said, basically reflecting it back to me. This would last for years, and I was really struck by the total pointlessness of it. One of these therapists -- actually, she's supposed to be sort of famous, I think -- told me that the point was to cure my depression. How on earth would doing that cure me of anything?

 

[Lilly789]

when you guys say "therapist"... what qualifications do these people have??

sorry, Im Australian, not sure if this is an American thing - are they mere counsellors or therapists, or psychologists?

These three things are all different things (even in America, I used to live in NYC), but they seem to be interchanged on this board, randomly. So Im wondering if its a local jargon thing, or if people are just really confused about this as well.

or if im confused. haha

 

[Livemylife]

Counseling has helped me but not in the way I anticipated.
I've figured out more things about myself because of counseling. I have put in a lot of effort to describing my situation to someone else. On top of that, I have to describe it to a person who is neurotypical and can't relate to me at all. A person who has not had my experiences and does not have my mind. This has been a worthwhile challenge. Nearly everything I learned from therapy, I learned myself. The counselor was not the one to give me the answers.

I am on my 4th counselor. I do think she's the best one yet, however, counseling overall is improved because I have a better idea of what to discuss. Going into counseling with a vague "help me" was not beneficial. I also remind myself that counselors are annoying humans just like the rest of people. You can only expect so much from them. At the very least, a counselor should be someone who will quietly listen.

 

[Minty]

They both said that they didn't know how to deal with my anxiety situation. I felt like I was talking to a regular person.

Same here. My therapist says that he has no idea how to help me; his best and only solution was to create a group. He hopes we naturally become friends and hang out with each other on our own outside of therapy. He doesn't get it at all.

 

[Livemylife]

Well I can agree with the idea that shrinks are over-rated. They are really just there to either stimulate, stroke, or admonish the ego.

Plus, I have never been comfortable with the idea that they have a standard guidebook (the DSM) that outlines how a healthy human being should act.

I don't agree about the self-love because any peace can only be obtained from the crucifixion of the ego as it is the ego that is always keeping score and calculating all the ways that we should be unhappy. The term "self love" implies an amplification of the ego.

Well I guess that's one way of looking at the DSM.:question: But surely a lot of the conditions/disorders in there are "unhealthy." For example, social anxiety and depression have essentially taken years from my life. I suppose if evolution had taken a different course and humans never became social, conditions such as social anxiety or Asperger's would not be in the DSM. Instead there would be a condition for extroversion, people who suffer from it relying too much on others for energy. :bigsmile:

 

[Earthcircle]

when you guys say "therapist"... what qualifications do these people have??

sorry, Im Australian, not sure if this is an American thing - are they mere counsellors or therapists, or psychologists?

These three things are all different things (even in America, I used to live in NYC), but they seem to be interchanged on this board, randomly. So Im wondering if its a local jargon thing, or if people are just really confused about this as well.

or if im confused. haha

I've seen clinical psychologists, psychiatrists, and social workers. The latter are the least qualified and, in my experience, the least potentially dangerous.

 

[Earthcircle]

Well I guess that's one way of looking at the DSM.:question: But surely a lot of the conditions/disorders in there are "unhealthy." For example, social anxiety and depression have essentially taken years from my life. I suppose if evolution had taken a different course and humans never became social, conditions such as social anxiety or Asperger's would not be in the DSM. Instead there would be a condition for extroversion, people who suffer from it relying too much on others for energy. :bigsmile:

There is a lot of talk about the DSM, on the assumption that it guides psychiatrists. My strong impression is that mental health workers throw out diagnoses pretty much at random, and they seem to prefer stronger more dramatic ones. The DSM is an afterthought. It's brought in after a diagnosis is made, and the patient's behavior is described as artfully as possible to make it fit the diagnosis. In other words, it doesn't matter what the DSM says. Now people will probably get upset and say I'm full of it. But I've experienced this over and over. I'm not making it up.

 

[Livemylife]

There is a lot of talk about the DSM, on the assumption that it guides psychiatrists. My strong impression is that mental health workers throw out diagnoses pretty much at random, and they seem to prefer stronger more dramatic ones. The DSM is an afterthought. It's brought in after a diagnosis is made, and the patient's behavior is described as artfully as possible to make it fit the diagnosis. In other words, it doesn't matter what the DSM says. Now people will probably get upset and say I'm full of it. But I've experienced this over and over. I'm not making it up.

I assume the psychiatrists don't consult the actual DSM book. They probably learn the various conditions in the book through school. And maybe the good counselors stay up-to-date with the books to know which conditions have been further explained or which ones are obsolete. I think an educated counselor/psychiatrist should be able to observe a patient or listen to them and then diagnose them. This is no different from medical doctors who can tell you why you're sick without having to consult anything.

I'm sorry you've had such traumatizing experiences. In my case, my very first counselor pretty much diagnosed me correctly our first session. I thought the condition "social phobia" as she called it was a bit dramatic myself.

 

[Earthcircle]

I assume the psychiatrists don't consult the actual DSM book. They probably learn the various conditions in the book through school. And maybe the good counselors stay up-to-date with the books to know which conditions have been further explained or which ones are obsolete. I think an educated counselor/psychiatrist should be able to observe a patient or listen to them and then diagnose them. This is no different from medical doctors who can tell you why you're sick without having to consult anything.

I'm sorry you've had such traumatizing experiences. In my case, my very first counselor pretty much diagnosed me correctly our first session. I thought the condition "social phobia" as she called it was a bit dramatic myself.

I have received the following diagnoses:

paranoid schizophrenia
schizoid personality
schizotypal personality
social phobia
dysthymia
bipolar disorder
obsessive compulsive disorder
generalized anxiety disorder

Despite the first diagnosis, I have no history of thought disorder. Psychiatrists have been giving me diagnoses, as I said, pretty much at random. Technically, they're required to fix a DSM label, but they do that as an afterthought. One can always describe behavior to make it sound like a symptom. For example, I lived in a noisy dormitory when I was 18. In the case notes, the psychiatrist tries to make it sound as though my perception of noisy neighbors in the dorm was a kind of paranoid delusion: "[my name] believes that someone is knocking on his wall at night." Well, someone was knocking on my wall at night. They were being goofballs. "[my name] has hypnogogic hallucinations." Everyone has hypnogogic hallucinations, but this imbecile wanted them to sound like schizophrenic hallucinations, which they certainly were not. The DSM only played a role after the diagnosis was made, i.e. my behavior had to be described in such a way to make it fit the symptomatic profile of the desired category. If psychiatrists were guided by the DSM, they wouldn't disagree with each other so much about diagnoses. Another thing: I do not have a history of mood swings. The diagnosis of bipolar disorder was also pure fantasy. One can describe anything and make it sound like mood swings. At the time I had vertigo episodes, and the psychiatrist tried to interpret those episodes as euphoria. Now before anyone starts calling me a troll or a liar, just can it. No one wants to hear it.

 

[Livemylife]

I've been to 4 counselors. The male one was the worst. The first one seemed pretty experienced. I didn't like her responses to topics of race however. That's when I realized counselors will bring their personal opinions into counseling. For humans it is very hard to be 100% objective. My latest one also seems experienced, but I am more experienced now too.

So yes, I believe you. I can totally imagine a counselor jumping to conclusions and misdiagnosing you. Especially with a condition like this, where the go-to answer is "paranoia." I know I'm not paranoid and can argue that point. Also remember that most counselors will never truly understand our experiences. Like I can read about cats all day long, but won't ever know what it's like to be a cat. So even though I have benefited from counseling, I would say it is only partly because of the counselor. If a counselor tries to explain what you experienced in an incorrect way (eg accusing you of hallucinating), it is important to argue why they are wrong.

 

[ImNotMyIllness]

I went to my first paid therapist visit and was turned off by his impatience. I changed therapists and noticed that both of them wanted to blame me for my problems. The male therapists I went to were middle-aged and old respectively. They both said that they didn't know how to deal with my anxiety situation. I felt like I was talking to a regular person. My impressions of them were quite bad and I had originally planned on becoming a therapist one day.

My therapist is great. She listens to me and offers solid advice. I hope you find a better therapist.

 

[Earthcircle]

If a counselor tries to explain what you experienced in an incorrect way (eg accusing you of hallucinating), it is important to argue why they are wrong.

The diagnosis was kept secret from me. I learned of it only years later by requesting the case notes. Everything was kept secret from me. I was ordered by a university counselor to see a psychiatrist without being given an explanation. I was prescribed medicine without being told the nature of the medication. The whole thing pretty dramatically contradicts what is written on the university counseling center's website.

 

[R3K]

seeing a therapist for social anxiety entails 2 things in my mind.

1. emotional dispensing: the patient sharing his feelings and saying what he can't to normal ppl for the sole purpose of feeling better in the act of doing so.

2. feeling guilty about bothering another human being(the therapist) with his wimpy problems, and thus feeling embarrassed and uncorking more anxiety as a result.

I imagine there are "therapists" out there who are warm and friendly enough that part 2. doesn't occur, but if I could control who I was going to get anxiety from, I wouldn't have social anxiety disorder.

And to make matters worse I have been told that I have "evil" eyes and that I look like a criminal.

ha, I get this ALL the time. I should be the villain in every single movie ever. I don't even have to act. just roll out of my trailer and walk straight on the set.

 

[Lilly789]

2. feeling guilty about bothering another human being(the therapist) with his wimpy problems, and thus feeling embarrassed and uncorking more anxiety as a result.

That's a little like being worried about bothering the guy at the McDonald's counter for a Big Mac. They are getting paid for it. Its their job.

 

[Earthcircle]

That's a little like being worried about bothering the guy at the McDonald's counter for a Big Mac. They are getting paid for it. Its their job.

The guy at the McDonald's counter wouldn't dare express anger. I've seen therapists get angry with me. They feel they have that right. Therapists often think I'm lying, so they get mad at me.

 

[Earthcircle]

That's a little like being worried about bothering the guy at the McDonald's counter for a Big Mac. They are getting paid for it. Its their job.

No, no, no. Look. The guy at McDonald's knows that his role in society is very modest. He knows that people look down on him and don't want his job. The psychotherapist is in a completely different position. He views himself as having status, being intellectual, and deserving loads of money. His attitude is completely different.

 

[Zod]

No, no, no. Look. The guy at McDonald's knows that his role in society is very modest. He knows that people look down on him and don't want his job. The psychotherapist is in a completely different position. He views himself as having status, being intellectual, and deserving loads of money. His attitude is completely different.

Menial jobs would be a lot more tolerable for people if people as a whole transcended society's conditioning regarding class and status. I think people who are very good at their job don't let their ego stand in the way.