Common Freaking Sense!

no1

Banned
Does anyone here feel like they lack Common Sense due to isolation in their past, which affects them now and contributes greatly to their current social anxiety? Isn't it embarrassing? I'm ok, 22 years old. I feel like a lost nobody when I go outside. Maybe that's why I have social anxiety, and maybe I never was supposed to have social anxiety if I was just more active socially in my growing up years. Now I'm an adult and I feel like I can't develop these social skills and this common sense NOW, people are going to look at me weird. With a "socially immature mind",I wonder the biological and social consequences of the is. It's been very hard to get out of for me, where as others it's very easy. If only I could just let go, and prepare for what's to come. I'm just sayin it's kind of a leap of faith.
 

Perfidion

Well-known member
You're never too old to learn something new, and there's a first time for everything. Cliches I know, but they're true nevertheless. I bought a car last year, and that's something I'd never done before, so I was a little uncertain of just how to go about it, especially with all the haggling and everything. But I muddled through and it wasn't half as traumatic as I'd led myself to believe it was going to be. I think it helps if, instead of sitting around contemplating all the things that might go wrong, you just go and do it.
 

philly2bits

Well-known member
I know what you mean. Sometimes when I go out to the store or something, strangers will come up to me and start telling a story about the item that i am buying and I just stare at them and when they finish I just walk away. I bet they think to themselves "what a jerk." I don't know what to do in that situation. My first thought is always to tell them to get away from me, now that would be a jerk.
 
Intense Suspense on the Sense Defense

Common Freaking Sense! I don't know if that is so much common sense as a lack of experience in social skills? Common sense is more like knowing not to jump in front of a moving train, or knowing that murder is wrong. I'm sure you have social common sense, you know the BASICS of what to do. I mean like not laughing at crying a crying person or something. You're talking about the much more complicated things that come with experience. Uncle Perf is right, there's a first time for everything. I mean obviously you probably won't know what to do if you have never done it before, I wouldn't call it "immaturity". You know no one thinks about this nearly as much as you do, the probability that they will know (or care) is relatively low.
 

powerfulthoughts

Well-known member
Yeah, that's right. Social anxiety stems from social isolation. You brain isn't ready for the things it is suppose to be ready for.

Bad childhood experiences + social isolation + low self-esteem + negative mind reading = social anxiety disorder/social phobia.

If you want to overcome it, then you have to take the pain that will for sure come from trying to "catch up" on the things you should have already gone through. Take the pain and ACCEPT it. Pain is your brain learning new things, so be happy about it. Don't resist it.

Often times, it's more than just lack of social experience, it's lack of LIFE experience. So the above applies to lack of experience in general as well. Life and social.
 

anomicdeer

Well-known member
I kind of feel this way. I feel I don't know how to talk to people because I am... antisocial... And tv doesnt help.
 
I've always lacked common sense, but I'm not really sure that it's related to my SA. I've just always been a ditz when it comes to certain things. I am inept when it comes to social skills, but I chalk that up to lack of experience, not common sense.
 
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