College....

[Jannah]

College campuses and classrooms are what scare me the most; nothing even comes close to making me feel such intense feelings than those two. My social anxiety is so bad around young people (my age group). I just really feel uncomfortable around young people, so much so that it gives me extreme anxiety being in classrooms and on campus. I feel more safer being in dangerous neighborhoods than on college campuses. It’s just being around so many people having a good time with their friends and their significant others and rubbing it in my ****in face, it really pisses me off and makes me feel self conscious about myself and that’s all I really see on campus and in classrooms. Everyone is already friends with each other but me; I just sit in the back all grumpy and **** because everyone is all ****in happy and social but me.

I pretty much can do anything and go anywhere with no problem, but not college. I sometimes go to bars and clubs by myself and get drunk, provoke men both directly and indirectly, though I should seriously stop before I get beat up or something, I talk to random women that I find attractive and I just don’t give a ****, I don’t care about what their reactions are, I don’t care whose watching. But the place that frightens me, the place that silences me and makes me worried is college. Ironic how college campuses are suppose to be the safest places around but not for someone with as much SA, anger, and frustration as me. I swear sometimes I think I’d feel safer in bullet riddled city Ciudad Juarez or a terrorist hot spot in Afghanistan than I do on campus and in classrooms. There is just too much at stake when you go day after day and have to deal with being around people, people who don’t like you, people who stare, people who want nothing to do with you, to me that is one of the worst pains in the world.

Can anyone else relate to feeling this much anxiety of college classrooms or campuses?

 

[Jannah]

45 views and not one person can empathize, wow. I really feel like a loser now.

 

[coyote]

45 views and not one person can empathize, wow. I really feel like a loser now.

sorry man, I found Beirut to be a lot more terrifying than a bunch of priviliged, pretentious art students

but that was just my experience

i wish i had some advice for you

 

[veggielover]

Hey, I feel the same way sometimes. Not all of my classes have the clicks, but the ones that do really annoy me. When people seem to be having so much fun and laughing and all that, I just get really annoyed. Sometimes I hate dealing with and being around people in general, but it gets better. Just tune them out. Do what you have to do, and after you can go home or wherever and feel safe. The people with loud, obnoxious, attention-wanting personalities annoy me the most. I wish they would just shut up sometimes!!

 

[Jannah]

sorry man, I found Beirut to be a lot more terrifying than a bunch of priviliged, pretentious art students

but that was just my experience

i wish i had some advice for you

When I say "empathize" I am referring to having really bad anxiety in college classrooms or on campus, nothing else.

 

[Jannah]

Hey, I feel the same way sometimes. Not all of my classes have the clicks, but the ones that do really annoy me. When people seem to be having so much fun and laughing and all that, I just get really annoyed. Sometimes I hate dealing with and being around people in general, but it gets better. Just tune them out. Do what you have to do, and after you can go home or wherever and feel safe. The people with loud, obnoxious, attention-wanting personalities annoy me the most. I wish they would just shut up sometimes!!

Ditto

thanks for the comment.

 

[Social-E-Aukward]

Jannah -

I think I relate to your feelings. I felt fairly awkward in most of my classes in school, public school and college. I often felt like I was "out of the loop", like, everyone else had friends and I was just an invisible person that drifted in and out with no one really noticing or caring.

Sometimes, in a design class I took, I'd be asked to show something I'd done to the other students. That always made me very awkward. I didn't like being in front of everyone, just sitting in the room was bad enough, but sometimes I felt like I'd have a heart attack up there. Everyone was staring at my artwork, and at me, and I worried about how they would judge me. I would tell myself that I didn't care, and in looking back, what what they thought then doesn't matter at all today, but somehow I still got very nervous.

 

[Jannah]

Everyone was staring at my artwork, and at me, and I worried about how they would judge me. I would tell myself that I didn't care, and in looking back, what what they thought then doesn't matter at all today, but somehow I still got very nervous.

Thank you, I will keep this in mind. It just hurts when you are going through with it in the moment.

 

[punklove]

Well I'm only in highschool but I do know how you feel..
I have really bad school phobia.

 

[mismeek]

I felt the same way. I really didn't think i was going to be able to go, but look at me now! getting ready to graduate next fall!! I have some tips that might help.

Don't assume you have to make friends. My best coping method was just to pretend i was the only person in the class. Once you feel more comfortable you can start talking to people. To be honest, people arent really social in class anyway so dont think you'll look grumpy

find a place in the class where you feel most comfortable. I liked sitting in the very front as close to the door as possible so if I started to panic i could leave quicker. You might like the back more, so you dont feel as if everyone is staring at your back.

Remember that you are there for YOU!! you are there to get yourself an education. Not to become the socialite of the town. who cares if jimmy two rows back is giving you the stink eye? After that semester you wont remember him. Just try to focus on the task at hand.

I know it sounds kinda cold but i realized that if you keep trying to look appealing to others, and keep trying to act friendly when you really dont want to be youre just going to stress yourself out and make the anxiety worse.

i hope this helps!

 

[mismeek]

Hey, I feel the same way sometimes. Not all of my classes have the clicks, but the ones that do really annoy me. When people seem to be having so much fun and laughing and all that, I just get really annoyed. Sometimes I hate dealing with and being around people in general, but it gets better. Just tune them out. Do what you have to do, and after you can go home or wherever and feel safe. The people with loud, obnoxious, attention-wanting personalities annoy me the most. I wish they would just shut up sometimes!!

UGH i have one of those loud attention whores in my classes.. It sucks because hes in THREE of my classes!! Hes the kinda of guy that just says stupid stuff just to get attention and theres like 4 guys in the class so girls just eat him up.. RAWR there are days i just want to punch him in the throat just to shut him up... >.>

 

[Sorta]

45 views and not one person can empathize...

It sounds like you're able to make it all the way through class at least. I can make it about 5-10 minutes before I have to leave.

 

[Zagreus]

I can relate to that anxiety you feel, Jannah. I can sorta deal with my job environment, but when it comes to sitting down for hours in a room full of people, trying to concentrate and keep quiet when inside you wanna scream and GTFO ...

You feel trapped because what happens during a lecture is very ceremonious, i mean, there's this harrowing silence hovering over the classroom and you're terrified that you could break it and draw all the attention on you. And if you feel you do or say something not particulary brilliant you feel that you're failing in front of your peers, like it's some sort of competition. It's just that as SA sufferers we're so demanding toward ourselves in order to conform to what we think are society's expectations, trying to fit in...

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Freshman yr of college i didn't do well because i wouldn't wear my contacts and would sit far away so i could pretend i really wasn't there. But now i wear them because i would rather do well and get out already.. maybe if you take some online classes mixed in it would help so it's not like your always there.

 

[sanitariumcalls]

The community college I'm at now is kinda like that... aside from the few acquaintances I have, most of the students are either richy-b*tchies or wanna be gangsters...

I start at a private, Catholic university in January. Looking forward to it, but nervous nonetheless. The environment there is much more at ease, maybe because its a private University, not a public CC...

But I empathize with you, its no easy path...

 

[Jannah]

Thank you everyone for the replies.

 

[Jannah]

The community college I'm at now is kinda like that... aside from the few acquaintances I have, most of the students are either richy-b*tchies or wanna be gangsters...

I start at a private, Catholic university in January. Looking forward to it, but nervous nonetheless. The environment there is much more at ease, maybe because its a private University, not a public CC...

But I empathize with you, its no easy path...

I actually go to a community college as well, it sucks. I'm guessing large universities are either a little or a lot different.

 

[Jannah]

maybe if you take some online classes mixed in it would help so it's not like your always there.

It's what I am planning to do next semester.

 

[Jannah]

I felt the same way. I really didn't think i was going to be able to go, but look at me now! getting ready to graduate next fall!! I have some tips that might help.

Don't assume you have to make friends. My best coping method was just to pretend i was the only person in the class. Once you feel more comfortable you can start talking to people. To be honest, people arent really social in class anyway so dont think you'll look grumpy

find a place in the class where you feel most comfortable. I liked sitting in the very front as close to the door as possible so if I started to panic i could leave quicker. You might like the back more, so you dont feel as if everyone is staring at your back.

Remember that you are there for YOU!! you are there to get yourself an education. Not to become the socialite of the town. who cares if jimmy two rows back is giving you the stink eye? After that semester you wont remember him. Just try to focus on the task at hand.

I know it sounds kinda cold but i realized that if you keep trying to look appealing to others, and keep trying to act friendly when you really dont want to be youre just going to stress yourself out and make the anxiety worse.

i hope this helps!

Thank you