Can't take it no more.SA is killing me inside...

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Lonely_Guy28

Member
Don't know where to start,but I been having so called "SA" for such a long time.
I don't even remember when this sh*t began,I can't recall,but I was probably more social when I was a kid.I can't even function properly in a room full of people;I get all nervous and anxious,and it seems I can't control it.
I went to my church today just to get out of my shell,and maybe try to socialize,but I was finding myself as always nervous and anxious.I go to my pyshiotherapists,and I get all nervous,I go to the mall,the same,I go to school the same problem over and over.I don't even have any friends anymore due to the fact that almost all of em have done me wrong,backstabbed me or some b.s like that.It always ends in B.S..So I find myself staying at home doing nothing,and when I do go out my SA sometimes goes through the roof.
I'm 28 yrs old and I can't even get a gf.I have no kids,no career,nothing to fall back on.I'm done high school,but in this imperialist system,you have to run through their hoops and pay a crap load of money just to recieve some education and probably not even a job @ the end of it all.
I did have a few gf's back in the day,but thats when I was 18-25.Since then my confidence has been deteriorating,and I dont know why.I got way more on my mind,but it's too much to type.Just don't know what to do anymore.:kickingmyself:
 
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ImNotMyIllness

Well-known member
It really sucks when you try to be social or put yourself in social situations to meet people only to suffer more from anxiety. Then you feel like sh*t, especially if the social situation didn't go so well.
 
S

Steppen-Wolf

Well-known member
28 isn't exactly old. You still have your whole life ahead of you and you still have a chance to do something that'll make you happy with it.

As long as there is life there is hope, and as long as there is hope there's a chance for change.
 
buggy

buggy

Member
sorry to hear lonely guy. Did you try to take steps to improve your SA using medication or psychotherapy? In my opinion it can be really helpful and it is never too late to change :)
 
Flanscho

Flanscho

Well-known member
Maybe you were looking for the wrong friends.

You can always try studying in other countries, where it's for free. Your lack of friends is also a strength, since you are not tied to one place.
 
Ignace

Ignace

Well-known member
I wish I could help you and say something useful, but since I can't help myself, let alone someone else. Have you tried therapy/CBT in combination with medicines ? Imo I think the only way out is starting to feel good about yourself and be more or less happy, but that's not possible without help from outside, and will demand all of your patience. This first step is the most important one, so don't rush it. Other then that, nothing to say, I dno what to do with myself either.
 
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Lonely_Guy28

Member
buggy said:
sorry to hear lonely guy. Did you try to take steps to improve your SA using medication or psychotherapy? In my opinion it can be really helpful and it is never too late to change :)
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I really don't trust medications.I know people who have commited suicide after being prescribed prozac,xanax etc.I have taken counselling,but they babble about the same thing over and over,and it doesn't get anywhere.Sometimes these same psychotherapists prescribe you these same drugs that end up killing you anyways.
 
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Lonely_Guy28

Member
Ignace said:
I wish I could help you and say something useful, but since I can't help myself, let alone someone else. Have you tried therapy/CBT in combination with medicines ? Imo I think the only way out is starting to feel good about yourself and be more or less happy, but that's not possible without help from outside, and will demand all of your patience. This first step is the most important one, so don't rush it. Other then that, nothing to say, I dno what to do with myself either.
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I know what you mean,don't worry about it.I find myself in the same position trying to help others who have the same issues I do,but I don't know what to say cuz im catching hell too lol.I heard of CBT therapy from someone and I might try that.
 
sullyS25

sullyS25

Well-known member
I know this feeling ohhhh so well my friend and it sucks! Just know that there are certain ways to treat it and sometimes growth is difficult but it is worth it.

Being dominated by defeating self-talk is very paralyzing and for me it brings on a lot of physical and mental symptoms. To the point where I feel like the feeling will never go away and I am doomed to feel miserable forever. This simply isnt the case though. Things get better. There are ups and downs.

Mindfulness has helped me. Vigilantly observing the thoughts that are going through my head from a non-judgemental point of view. Ive realized that when I do this there are to thinks present: the thinker and the observer. If I can stay the observer of these thoughts, then the stop having so much power over me. I recommend reading the book "The Power of Now", if you are looking for other routes to help you because after reading that, I improved A TON! Just a suggestion though.
 
takeheart

takeheart

Well-known member
Social Anxiety is killing me too man. You just have to try and think positive I guess but that never usually works for me, I’m always negative! Man I wish I could help you but just try to embrace this SA and just try to live. Good luck bro!
 
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Totalrebel

Member
Hey there mate, sorry to hear your predicament. I found Cognitive Behavioural Therapy really good, brilliant i would add. All our physical reactions, ie sweating, trembling, anxiousness etc come from our thoughts. Therefore if we learn how to process our thinking, challenge our thoughts, form alternative positive thoughts, recognise catastrophising and inplement real and achievable thinking then slowly and step by step we develop and automatically develop a whole new thought process. With time this replaces the ANTS or automatic negative thoughts. Thrust me my friend this does work and is very achievable. Let me know what you think! J
 
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Totalrebel

Member
Hey Supertn, can i forward you a Psychology Manual, it's a self implementable psychology manual. I found it absolutely amazing!! Would you like me to send it to you?? Let me know please! J (Ireland)
 
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Lonely_Guy28

Member
@Sully. thanks for the suggestion,I will look for that book in ebay,since I do like to read self help books sometimes.Anything insightful is helpful.
 
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Lonely_Guy28

Member
superTn said:
Social Anxiety is killing me too man. You just have to try and think positive I guess but that never usually works for me, I’m always negative! Man I wish I could help you but just try to embrace this SA and just try to live. Good luck bro!
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Thanks man.I guess for us SA people,this is our cross we have to carry everyday.
 
L

Lonely_Guy28

Member
Totalrebel said:
Hey there mate, sorry to hear your predicament. I found Cognitive Behavioural Therapy really good, brilliant i would add. All our physical reactions, ie sweating, trembling, anxiousness etc come from our thoughts. Therefore if we learn how to process our thinking, challenge our thoughts, form alternative positive thoughts, recognise catastrophising and inplement real and achievable thinking then slowly and step by step we develop and automatically develop a whole new thought process. With time this replaces the ANTS or automatic negative thoughts. Thrust me my friend this does work and is very achievable. Let me know what you think! J
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Yeah someone recommended CBT to me months ago.He gave me some info about it on the internet,and it seemed interesting to me.He told me you could do it one on one sessions or group therapy,but suggested I do "group therapy" because it was more effective.:thinking:
 
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