Can't Look people in the eyes


A cure for staring!

For the love of god, I thought I was alone! I don't have this problem anymore, and I can tell all of you something very important and true. You might not believe it, but it is all in your head! Your actually not staring, it's called a peripheral vision, meaning that you can see what is happening to your right and left, without your eyeballs moving. The reason you think you stare, is because you notice your peripheral vision, which stops you from focusing, and which makes you look at people directly sometimes. I would look at people occasionally, when I thought I stared at them, meaning I would stare at people when I thought i stared, which I didn't to begin with!

If you don't believe me, record yourself with a webcam, and try to look at a point at the screen, while noticing stuff around you, for example a lamp. When you see the recording you will notice that you don't stare "from the side", meaning it's your peripheral vision. I repeat your not staring!!!!! This is very important to understand, it's all in your head! I saw a therapist a year ago, because I just couldn't take it anymore, it changed my life 180 degrees.
My therapist made one exercise where she would sit next to me, and she would tell me if I stared. I noticed her, and I thought I stared, but she told me I didn't. She told me my eyes didn't wander. It was all in my head. When you get nervous, you begin to notice stuff around you, in your peripheral vision. That doesn't mean you stare, it just makes you more nervous and stops you from focusing!

Simple exercise: Record yourself, and look at a point at the screen, whilst "staring at stuff around you". Trust me, the result will blow your mind!
I actually asked my friends in the end, if they had noticed me staring at them, and they told me again and again, NO! And these are friends I have known since I was a kid. You can even take your computer, and go to the library or canteen/public place, record yourself, and look at the screen, do your stuff. You will notice stuff around you, but your eyes won't wander! Trust me! You might move your eyes, when you look directly at something, but not when it is in your peripheral vision. After a while you will get more calm, and the anxiety will go away. Record yourself again and again, and notice that your eyes look completely normal. After sometime you won't even notice anymore!

I don't see my therapist anymore, I saw her a couple of times, she worked with cognitive therapy, and I didn't take any prescription drugs. Just by talking to her, and doing some small assignments, it worked.

And if you think that your problem is worse than mine, than get this: I had this problem with thinking I stared at people since I was 16, up until a year ago. I'm now 28, meaning I had the problem for 12 years of my life. Stop wasting your time, and trust me. It is all in your head!

I hope you all the best, and please write back on your experiences, after you record yourself. It will blow your mind!

I will check up on this page once in a while.

Yours sincerely


Over the past few years ever since I have joined this site, I actually have gotten better at looking people in their eyes. It still feels very awkward but I can do it better now. Ever since I've been living with one of my sisters alot of my social skills have gotten better, however, there is some room for improvement.


Active member
Looking into people's eyes is really hard for me too. A girl tried to talk to me a while back and she asked if I had problems looking people in the eyes and I told her yes while like staring down the whole time. I get so self conscious and slouch and try not to grin and all sorts of stuff and any kind of interaction like that just feels so awkward and uncomfortable. I always hate myself after it T 3 T


not actually Fiona Apple
I don't really notice anymore but I rarely look people in the eyes unless it's like an intimate conversation ("intimate"). Lately at work though I have noticed people will talk to me, I will nod confirmation, and then they will turn around trying to see who I was nodding at, as my head and eyes are so unaligned with there's they think I must not be looking at them.