Can't Look people in the eyes
- Thread starter Cacophony
- Start date
rafeeq
Member
I had strange a very strange encounter with my brother a long time ago. He used to constantly take the piss out of me and generally piss me off.
One day he made an annoying comment while I was in the toilet and I shouted at the top off my voice whilst in there.
I hardly ever confront him face to face but I believe that I shouted that day because I could not see his face, which I find very intimidating... as almost every human face I see.
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BTW I find the idea of wearing tinted contact lenses to alleviate this problem very interesting, because if you already wear glasses or contact lenses then it won't look at all conspicuous. Wearing tinted glasses looks too eccentric and in a depressing country like Britain it looks completely out of place.
One day he made an annoying comment while I was in the toilet and I shouted at the top off my voice whilst in there.
I hardly ever confront him face to face but I believe that I shouted that day because I could not see his face, which I find very intimidating... as almost every human face I see.
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BTW I find the idea of wearing tinted contact lenses to alleviate this problem very interesting, because if you already wear glasses or contact lenses then it won't look at all conspicuous. Wearing tinted glasses looks too eccentric and in a depressing country like Britain it looks completely out of place.
MotherWolff
Banned
Wouldn't it be funny if there was medication that could actually help you to look into people's eyes better?
If there was I would definitely try it out. I'm that desperate. And another thing; I noticed that I can do far more eye contact with animals than I can with humans. I wonder what that means....
If there was I would definitely try it out. I'm that desperate. And another thing; I noticed that I can do far more eye contact with animals than I can with humans. I wonder what that means....
Artanis
Well-known member
I have had this problem on and off over the last decade... I think it has to do with how we see ourselves, of how much shame we feel towards ourselves... and possibly an avoidance of socialising or of taking social risks... just looking at each other is a form of communication between two people... and being socially avoidant is to cut off that visual communication.
there may also be an automatic reaction against being judged for taking an interest in another person who may judge you back... I'm not sure...
there may also be an automatic reaction against being judged for taking an interest in another person who may judge you back... I'm not sure...
seekeroftruth
Well-known member
Add me to the list, about 2 years now...a personal hell.
snipes
Member
READ THIS, THIS IS THE ANSWER!!!!
Hi everyone!
I posted on this thread about six months ago when I was suffering terribly and like in the post above I was in "a personal hell". I was in hell for 10 years and I thought I was the only person in the whole world suffering with this. However, after finding out other people had the same problem I new I had to sort myself out. I am now almost free from the pain and when I think about it it now I feel amazing compared with how I did feel.
Please listen to this next bit very carefully and do exactly as I say as this is how I did it. Say to yourself "I am not scared of anything, anybody or what they think of me". That's it, I will say it again "I am not scared of anything, anybody or what they think of me". Say it in your head, as soon as you wake, all throughout the day, and say it especially when your about to speak to someone, and when your go to sleep. After you have done this for one day look at someone in the eye when you speak to them. If you get that "fear" feeling, (that's what you have, FEAR), say to yourself "I WILL NOT BE SCARED". Repeat this until your so sick of doing that you beat your brain into submission. After a week of doing this I felt better, after a month I found people wanted to be around me more, and now I can say my confidence is flying. I do still have the odd funny turn but everyone gets a little nervous sometimes, I don't care who you are, but there is no reason to be scared! You need to rid yourself of the fear! I promise you this will work don't give up, keep repeating the fraze above until it does work. Also choosing one eye does help too. Think about it why should YOU live your life in fear, be brave, be bold and never give up.
DO THIS, YOU WON'T REGRET IT!
You can send me an email but sorry if I don't get straight back to you as I don't use the email address I have used for this site very often.
Hi everyone!
I posted on this thread about six months ago when I was suffering terribly and like in the post above I was in "a personal hell". I was in hell for 10 years and I thought I was the only person in the whole world suffering with this. However, after finding out other people had the same problem I new I had to sort myself out. I am now almost free from the pain and when I think about it it now I feel amazing compared with how I did feel.
Please listen to this next bit very carefully and do exactly as I say as this is how I did it. Say to yourself "I am not scared of anything, anybody or what they think of me". That's it, I will say it again "I am not scared of anything, anybody or what they think of me". Say it in your head, as soon as you wake, all throughout the day, and say it especially when your about to speak to someone, and when your go to sleep. After you have done this for one day look at someone in the eye when you speak to them. If you get that "fear" feeling, (that's what you have, FEAR), say to yourself "I WILL NOT BE SCARED". Repeat this until your so sick of doing that you beat your brain into submission. After a week of doing this I felt better, after a month I found people wanted to be around me more, and now I can say my confidence is flying. I do still have the odd funny turn but everyone gets a little nervous sometimes, I don't care who you are, but there is no reason to be scared! You need to rid yourself of the fear! I promise you this will work don't give up, keep repeating the fraze above until it does work. Also choosing one eye does help too. Think about it why should YOU live your life in fear, be brave, be bold and never give up.
DO THIS, YOU WON'T REGRET IT!
You can send me an email but sorry if I don't get straight back to you as I don't use the email address I have used for this site very often.
this_portrait
Well-known member
My looking people in the eye problem has seemed to worsen. For the longest time, I had the problem, then I got the courage to actually look people in the eye, and now I have the problem again. It's rather unpleasant, and it just shows how low my confidence is.
In fact, I've also been wearing these prescription sunglasses I have just so I don't have to worry about that crap. I even wear them on overcast days. Sure, it makes me look like a nerd, but whatever.
In fact, I've also been wearing these prescription sunglasses I have just so I don't have to worry about that crap. I even wear them on overcast days. Sure, it makes me look like a nerd, but whatever.
Island_chic
Well-known member
I used to be too shy to look another person in the face for many years. But now I can stare people down. Mostly it has gone away for me.
whos_that_girl
Active member
I'm getting to be this way badly and I can't stand it because I feel so weird when I can't look at people at all, not just in their eyes! This is because I basically have avoided 98% of all social contacts for almost 7 years now, it's been bad and getting worse.
Redzer
1
a good trick i find is to look at person eyebrows it looks as if yer meeting there gaze but yer not really and if they wear glasses then look at the top at the rim, handly little trick i used to use, but now i want to be seen as a person who commands respect so straighten up and meet there eyes, **** why should i lower my self worth because some one looks at me.
I am really sorry to hear that a person you loved did and say such awful things.
One of my sister´s old boyfriends did the same to her, like criticizing every thing she did, way she looked, just everything. I myself really cant see, how you can treat one you love that way.
Was your boyfriend one of those types, who looks like they can control everything, but really they dont have a clue on their life?
Maybe you should try some counseling, for many it really helps.
One of my sister´s old boyfriends did the same to her, like criticizing every thing she did, way she looked, just everything. I myself really cant see, how you can treat one you love that way.
Was your boyfriend one of those types, who looks like they can control everything, but really they dont have a clue on their life?
Maybe you should try some counseling, for many it really helps.
Lorraine Manca
Well-known member
when i try to keep eye contact, i have a hard time focusing on both eyes at the same time. my focus switch's between the person's left eye or the right eye. it makes me want to hurl. i think there must be something wrong in my brain that is more physical than emotional. im sorry to hear some people learn it from bad experiences.
Poor eye contact is the most common problem of shyness. However, it sounds like what you are describing is more than just shyness. I have not read the whole thread but I believe there is a name for this condition -- the inability to look anyone in the eye. I, like most shy people or formerly shy people, have had the problem of feeling that I'm not looking people in the eyes enough.
Not just a little eye contact, but I would say 90% I contact is what is expected. Not all the time of course. If you're working or driving, you can't make 90% eye contact, but I mean when you're standing or sitting across from somebody.
Not just a little eye contact, but I would say 90% I contact is what is expected. Not all the time of course. If you're working or driving, you can't make 90% eye contact, but I mean when you're standing or sitting across from somebody.
MotherWolff
Banned
Wow this topic is still going? And no one has come up with a solution, yet? Or have they?
Motherwolff can sometimes look people in the eyes nowadays. But Motherwolff does not feel comfortable doing it at all. I must force myself to do it. Its like raping my own eyes with "eye contact". I can only look my close family members in the eyes without any form of anxiety.
Ugh...Motherwolff will never understand why humans MUST make eye contact with one another.
Motherwolff can sometimes look people in the eyes nowadays. But Motherwolff does not feel comfortable doing it at all. I must force myself to do it. Its like raping my own eyes with "eye contact". I can only look my close family members in the eyes without any form of anxiety.
Ugh...Motherwolff will never understand why humans MUST make eye contact with one another.
Mikefly
Well-known member
I feel you, that decribes my whole life, it just takes practice , getting thick skin and sometimes I look at people's noses instead of looking them in the eyes. I've also just got better at looking people in the eyes when i was younger i would be froze with fear buts it all just a learning experience and you will learn too.