Can you survive on your own?

[ljwwriter]

Honestly, I don't think so. The only reason I'm alive right now is probably my family. Without them I would be totally alone in the world at this point. My friends have all finally slipped away, as I knew they would eventually. I tried to hold on, but they've moved on and I've become so at odds with the world that I've begun to embrace my reputation as a hermit, in spite of myself.

It's odd. I have very little sense of independence, but I'm probably more of an independent soul than most of the human population. I think many of us social phobics are. Thanks to our anxiety we can't get out of our own way and make a life exclusively for ourselves, yet we are by ourselves all the time. I'm not financial independent or anything like that, but emotionally I'm probably too independent.

 

[ljwwriter]

Honestly, I don't think so. The only reason I'm alive right now is probably my family. Without them I would be totally alone in the world at this point. My friends have all finally slipped away, as I knew they would eventually. I tried to hold on, but they've moved on and I've become so at odds with the world that I've begun to embrace my reputation as a hermit, in spite of myself.

It's odd. I have very little sense of independence, but I'm probably more of an independent soul than most of the human population. I think many of us social phobics are. Thanks to our anxiety we can't get out of our own way and make a life exclusively for ourselves, yet we are by ourselves all the time. I'm not financial independent or anything like that, but emotionally I'm probably too independent.

 

[where2begin]

I'd probably go senile and eat my own face

 

[Richey]

It all depends, whilst i was employed for a steady two years you dont stress as much because you feel secure, now that im back at school and stuck in the middle of a rental lease without income you tend to go a little nutty and freak out more, you have to learn to laugh at yourself alot more and your circumstances instead of feeling down, ....

remember that unless you are overseas on your own you'll have family that will help and be there for you, its important to speak up if you are ever in a pickle

ive applied for 60+ jobs since november and have received little feedback even after follow up calls and emails from me, and my qualifications are decent, part-time, casual, full time, everything in my career of interest to weekend take away jobs and zilch replies thus far, grrr ...

the pressures of being a respectable well-rounded adult is really starting to get to me as a guy whom in our society is supposed to be a breadwinning carefree anglo saxon by now, im in my early twenties now and i need a break, some luck, it feels like you have to climb mount everest to make it even in terms of income, career objectives and other expectations etc ...

it bugs me that im becoming money driven but in reality i need it to purchase my own studio so i can have the freedom to set up my own work and dreams which relates to my hobbies, anyhoo good luck to all of you, i know what its like to go without meals because of tight budgets and lack of dough, its horrible

this may seem lame at first but go and hire "Patch Adams" a film with Robin Williams it will lift your spirits and give you a fresh perspective on life

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Honestly, I don't think so. The only reason I'm alive right now is probably my family. Without them I would be totally alone in the world at this point. My friends have all finally slipped away, as I knew they would eventually. I tried to hold on, but they've moved on and I've become so at odds with the world that I've begun to embrace my reputation as a hermit, in spite of myself.

It's odd. I have very little sense of independence, but I'm probably more of an independent soul than most of the human population. I think many of us social phobics are. Thanks to our anxiety we can't get out of our own way and make a life exclusively for ourselves, yet we are by ourselves all the time. I'm not financial independent or anything like that, but emotionally I'm probably too independent.

I could have almost written that myself.

 

[emale2]

surviving on my own

I have been trying to use my social phobiaforce to my advantage recently. When you use it for good it can be very powerful. In order to make some extra money I went to http://cashcrate.com/996129 and started repeatedly doing surveys and offers and have been able to make some good money side money. This allows me to self sustain without having to meet people.

 

[emale2]

surviving on my own

I have been trying to use my social phobiaforce to my advantage recently. When you use it for good it can be very powerful. In order to make some extra money I went to http://cashcrate.com/996129 and started repeatedly doing surveys and offers and have been able to make some good money side money. This allows me to self sustain without having to meet people.

 

[Moonie]

I don't think I could (at least at this juncture in my life.) First off, I only work part-time. I couldn't afford it. I can't cook. Can't do bills. Can't check the oil in my car. I can't do the basic living necessity things.

I could live alone, though. I like my 'me' time very much. So, I don't think I would get bored.

 

[freestylemonster]

I can't even be alone for like a day...I basically rely on other people for my own happiness, when I'm by myself that's when I get depressed and sometimes even suicidal. So no I could never live alone

 

[jiujitsu]

I'm not really sure. I live with some workmates. If I didn't have a job I'd be destitute obviously. Job = self reliant. For me, anyway. Though, I won't lie. I'd rather just stay at home with the parents and hide in my room like I used to.

Only, my mom used to get on my case all the time about getting a job or going to college and it caused me huge amounts of stress whenever she'd call me in to talk to her. I hated that so much. Since I've gone my mentality toward my family is much different than it used to be. Just two years ago. A 180 really. If you hate your family try moving away from them. You might start to like them once you realize how much easier it was.

 

[Havocan]

Delaying to move out of the nest will only make it worse when you actually have to live on your own. It's very difficult to accept but nevertheless it's the truth. When your peers whom you used to rely on are gone you've got no one but yourself. That said, you should definitely try moving into some sort of dorms or other places where you live together with others.

 

[theblank]

I have survived out on my own ever since I left home at 17. I came back twice for two different two years stints and regretted both of them so my advice to anyone struggling with thinking they can't survive out on their own is that it all starts in your mind. You have to start by telling yourself that you CAN and WILL survive. If you keep telling yourself that you can't, then you won't be able to because we believe what we tell ourselves and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Here's a song from the rock band Triumph called "I can survive" that helps encourage me when I feel that I can't make it any longer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ9eUIz0fCk

Another song I like is by Ace Frehley called "I will survive." The sound quality is horrible, but the words are good. Check it out here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdzSkE5Sx78

Then of course the classic disco song "I will survive" by Gloria Gayner is great too. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBR2G-iI3-I

The music isn't as important as the idea of believing in yourself is. I have plenty of negativity in my mind too, and it's led me backwards, but telling myself that I can do things really helps me and keeps me out on my own where I belong.

 

[Lotrsfan]

I don't think i could cope on my own when my parents ain't here no more. They are all i've got. I have my sister, but she's at uni, and will be engaged/married off like in 5 years time to her boyfriend surely so she will have her own life without having to look after me and she shouldn't have to look after me because i am older than her. *sigh*
i have thought that if my parents were to no longer be here anymore i would hopefully hope i was there with them to go too.

 

[weak]

Been on my own for over 3 years now. It's difficult at first, but what's you get situated you adjust just as you would in any situation really.

 

[Walk]

Been on my own for over 3 years now. It's difficult at first, but what's you get situated you adjust just as you would in any situation really.

Do you live with roommates? HOw many?

I'm worried mainly about the amount of time I'll be spending working to pay the rent (I live in the LA area, southbay) because I also go to school full time at this time, and plan to for at least 2 1/2 years more.

 

[eso]

I had been afraid to live on my own for the longest time. Although even though I have great parents, after living with a roommate in college I got really used to the idea of not being with them anymore. I mean, after you spend years away from them (but they still support you during college ie: give you money, don't live too far away, help with some things etc, if you're one of the lucky college kids who has this) you really don't want to listen to their doggone rules and such anymore.

So after college I went all the way across the country to follow a dream. I wasn't planning on staying more than a few months but I stayed with my grandparents. It was awful. My grandma was worse than my parents. But I couldn't live without their support.

It got to the point however, that I became determined to leave because I had gotten so used to living away from my family. That was so strong I started making plans to live on my own. It never worked out though. I was so overwhelmed and couldn't take it, I wanted to die. Lost my jobs and etc. you all know the deal...

I came back home unemployed and in therapy for all this stuff again. But after being w/ my parents for several months o boy did I want to get away from them. So I ended up w/ my old college roomie who really helped take care of me too. He didn't have to but I lived with him, got myself a PT job, etc. But I couldn't live without him and a little of my parent's help.. this is all the way until I'm like 23 or so. Eventually I got a full time job, stopped taking family help also! Roommate wanted to move on, so I got another roommate who I similarly depended on. He did all the communication w/landlords, services etc.. all this stuff I was too afraid to do on my own. This 'roomie' era lasted many years.

But he left a year ago. However I was already so confident in myself by that time, although a bit scared.... I now rent my own house, pay everything myself, etc., and am even thinking of moving on my own far away from my family to get a high-paying job or buying my own house.

I think the lesson to be learned for people like us is that if you can find a way of weening yourself off of the support slowly to a point where you can learn it on your own and have the fears go away gradually, it can work out.

 

[oNecoOlazN]

no no and NO!

i am currently living with my parents and i am honestly REALLY afraid what i'll do when their gone...i know im at an age where i am totally capable of living on my own and supporting myself..but i now know that living out on my own is a total nightmare!!!..i've lived by myself, all alone in an one room for about a half a year and it was a total mess...sigh :roll:

 

[weak]

Been on my own for over 3 years now. It's difficult at first, but what's you get situated you adjust just as you would in any situation really.

Do you live with roommates? HOw many?

I'm worried mainly about the amount of time I'll be spending working to pay the rent (I live in the LA area, southbay) because I also go to school full time at this time, and plan to for at least 2 1/2 years more.

No roommates, but I did have a girlfriend. We got a $1100/month apartment in downtown LA. She only paid about 30% of the rent though, and about 6 months into it she broke up with me and moved out.

At the time, my only means of income had been from my father. He paid me about $800/month to manage his stocks online, which wasn't even enough to afford my rent. And just as my girlfriend and I split up, my father and I had a falling out. Incredibly shitty timing.

Basically I was stuck in a $1100/month lease with zero income.

But just as I was on the verge of being evicted, this business project I had on the side experienced a huge break through... and it just got better every month.

I own my own house now and I let my 2 friends crash here off and on just for the sake of social interaction. If you're gonna get your own place, definitely try to do so with a friend. It helps cut down on costs and gives you someone to socialize with. But realistically, your best bet would be to live at home until you have plenty of money saved up. Having your own apartment is just a needless expense when you could just live at home. Many people underestimate just how expensive it is too live on your own.

 

[nico82]

I think so and I might actually find out this year if I can

The main thing I'm worried about is having to live with roommates. My main requirements would be a quiet roommate, separate entrance and separate bathroom

 

[Walk]

I own my own house now and I let my 2 friends crash here off and on just for the sake of social interaction. If you're gonna get your own place, definitely try to do so with a friend. It helps cut down on costs and gives you someone to socialize with. But realistically, your best bet would be to live at home until you have plenty of money saved up. Having your own apartment is just a needless expense when you could just live at home. Many people underestimate just how expensive it is too live on your own.

It's true that renting is less preferable to owning. But how do you own a house at your age? I'm 23. As far as I understand, you don't own anything until you have fully paid off all the payments there is to be paid.

How much are you paying? I'm assuming 3k/month. How confident are you that you will make all payments?

1,100 a month is ok for me, if I have a roommate. More than that is not likely, unless I cram the apt with roommates, which is what I don't want (and I don't really have friends, just one working brother). My parents barely make enough for themselves.

I am thinking of renting an apt while I go to school because I want to have independence from my parents and more peace and quiet (for most part), yet still be able to go to school at least 3/4 time for about 2 1/2 years. I'm assuming renting an apartment is cheaper than paying for a house, although I know I won't be able to refinance and do all that jazz with an apt, but the bottom line is that it seems to be less risky and more compatible for my situation with school. I want to finish school/university... I'm planning to be a CPA and not worry about money again.