Can you remeber when you first realized you had S.A.D.

[black-wings]

I often wonder to myself, "How in the world I ended up with disorder? Was it something I did or didnt do?"

I've come to the conclusion, a combination of not getting out enough as kid and being raised differently than my peers, resulted in me battling this?

So you I ask you guys, when did first realize you had SAD?

 

[Bama_Heath]

I have asked myself this question a good bit. I'm really not sure why, but the first symptoms I remember is when I started having fits of blushing. I was working a part-time job in retail/customer service (go figure right) when I was in college and dealt with strangers everyday having to turn on the charm with them. Then for some reason about the time I finished school and began looking for a job in my degree field I started to have fits of anxiety on the retail job. It wasn't easy to turn the charm on anymore and I got embarrassed all the time, blushed, nervous, and had anxiety going through the roof. I don't know why is started....it just kind of did.

 

[bigrob]

Let's see...

In 4th grade I started daydreaming, but wouldn't know what I was daydreaming about (I still do that btw). Whenever the teacher would holler my name to snap me out of it, I'd burst into tears.

In 5th grade we has a play. I had the lead role...a space alien. I did OK during practice in front of my class, but when we started touring other classes I was terrified. The first time the teacher almost literally dragged me into the class.

By the time I enter middle school in the 7th grade I decided people were crap. I started being bullied.

When I enter high school I totally rebelled, became the crazy long haired guy, and one of my former bullies took a quick trip down a flight of stairs.

During this same time I started playing music and did some shows...I honestly don't remember ever being on stage. It was like brain off/autopilot on when I walked on stage, and the next thing I knew it was over.

Now I couldn't even get myself to be in the crowd. ::

 

[Spike Lee]

simple.


Becoming a social recluse was an alternative to suicide....had I not had that choice to disappear from the public eye then I would have offed myself 3 yrs ago.



Overtime you eventually grow accustomed to familiarity and now you don't feel comfortable around human beings anymore



And they lived happily ever after


the end.

 

[black-wings]

Well, being almost 26 and all I am pretty sure exactly how it happened. I was confused when I was younger though, I thought I was nuts. I had been age regressed before (effin weird I tell you) ,I think I know the very first time I started doubting myself. It had to do with losing self control and then it went downhill after that. I also started taking on the role of the quiet one and my parents took me to a psychiatrist and they found nothing wrong with me. So I had to see a speech therapist very young when I had no problems with my speech. It sort of made me feel different from my siblings, almost humiliating. I did have a variety of friends and went out a lot and did social things, but the inferiority complex was always there. I think home environment plays a larger role in SA than your social environment. Of course you are more comfortable at home, but if you are not receiving proper parenting (my opinion) then you don't feel alright to take on the world. Just my two cents

Ya know those last two sentences is what I feel. I've often blamed my parents for my SA. Not to say I hate them or even dislike them. I just feel if they pushed me to hang around other kids, I wouldnt be here today trying to cure it. Your two cents is very much appreciated

 

[SickCycleCarousel]

Let's see.

When I was five or six my older half-sister molested me and would tell me to be wary of men because they would kidnap and rape me.

Half-sister moved out when I was nine. One day I was sitting outside with my neighbor when a man drove up to us and asked us where an apartment was. I got up and ran to my house; I was terrified that he was going to kidnap me.

From nine to twelve I became a complete recluse. I had absolutely convinced myself that every man was out to kidnap me. If a man so much as looked in my direction I would burst into tears and panic and think he was plotting to kidnap me. I stopped going outside. I was too scared to even sit on my porch with the door open, that's how bad it was.

I never felt safe, not even in my own house. I told my parents - one time - about my fear but never got the help I needed.

Eventually I became used to being at home all day..24-7...

I guess that's more for my agoraphobia...

My dad has always made a huge deal about the way I look. He was always telling me I was too fat and that I need to lose weight in order to be accepted by people.

My fifth grade teacher used to tell me that I ran as if the grass was too high and she would constantly tell me to wash my hair (I took baths daily, so I don't know where she got the idea that my hair was dirty).

Kids in school never bothered me (I was never teased or bullied) but I still felt like an outsider.

Between being molested by my half-sister and being bullied by my dad has made it very hard for me to be social. I constantly worry that people are judging me because of my weight and thinking I'm not good enough because of it.

I also question people's genuineness. Like if someone complements me on something I think they're only saying it to be nice but don't really mean it.

I have a hard time trusting even my own family sometimes.


Forgot to mention when I realized I had it...I was probably 14 or 15.

 

[SickCycleCarousel]

Sorry for the double post, this site has been screwy for me all day. =\

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Well, I was always "different" from other kids. I never felt like I was a part of what was going on or like I was even one of them. I was always reserved, quiet, awkward, & afraid of being around people. But it wasn't until I saw a Zoloft commercial in my early twenties about social anxiety that I realized there was actually a name for being afraid around people.

 

[BlueDays]

...............

 

[Lorraine Manca]

it seemed less embarrassing to admit to social anxiety rather than fear of people

 

[arkane]

When I became a teenager class became more about discussions and I would never talk. I found it incredibly difficult to get courage to talk or even answer the teacher's questions while others complained it was easy enough for me to do. I guess people think I'm a burnout or something, but that's really not it.

 

[NinjaLikesToast]

I don't remember an exact time that I realized this, but it was around the time I was in 7th grade. That was when I really started to notice that I did not think the same as most of the kids I went to school with. I also did not have any of the same interests as them, so actually making friends was very hard. I was always the shy kid, but after I noticed all this happening I sort of became "rebellious" I guess you could say. Up until my Freshman year of high school this was a problem. I eventually talked to my Mom and she let me do home schooling for a while. This was great at first, but this also led to my agoraphobia problem.. A lot happened since then, but in all, I am still that same person, looking for a way out.

 

[faz]

I was born with SAD I came to know there are people like me when I was 14.I read about it in a magazine.

 

[applegirl]

I always felt like there was something wrong with me since I was in elementary school. I thought I was normal then but some things were slightly off with me. I remember feeling awkward around strangers but as long as I said hi (while hiding behind my parents) or not saying hi and then my parents would laugh and say how I was shy and to please not mind my behavior, etc. Then I got into school where there was lots of things I didnt know how to do. at first it was easy because my mom helped me with my homework but soon it became too hard and she would need to bring my brother in to help me. that's where it all fell apart. the asking for help was like hell for me. before i even tried anything my heart would start beating so hard and i'd just sweat like crazy. i didn't have a name for it but i knew it wasn't something right although i also didn't know how to put it into words. i would consider i was very weird as a child. i would understand things if i heard it and would be curious about stuff around me but for some reason it felt unnatural to me to ask about it or point it out. so instead i'd just keep it inside my head and not say anything.

For a long time my parents just thought I was shy and that's why as i got older i stopped asking for help if i needed it ... like if i had a problem and i couldn't do it without someone else's help. i don't think my parents now even know the term for what I have (social anxiety). i can't help but think my parents played a role in this. there's the genetic factors but also environmental factors. for one thing i never got used to being in a group of kids my age. much younger like three years old i was in daycare but i would do nothing but sit and cry all day. i was never assimilated at all. first day of kindergarten the minute i went into the classroom with all those kids i burst into a fit of crying and sobbing. i was very sheltered. not only that but my parents were immigrants. they didn't know anyone on our block or neighborhood. they stuck to their own race of friends and didn't speak english well at all so they used their native languages. sometimes i just don't understand how i could turn out like this while my brother is perfectly normal. why me? why was I affected by so and so like this and not him? I mean we were exposed to some of the same stuff. Like my mom's incredibly short temper and screaming both he and i were the targets of. well i don't think he ever got hit by her (unlike me). also i don't think he got bullied in school or harassed. in grammar school this jerk face used a scissor to cut strands of my hair off. i also got a death threat against me from the same guy. In junior high i got a lot of insults bc i was really quiet and didn't like answering questions when called on. i got harassed by this guy who got held back in the sixth grade. he'd touch my hair and stroke it. it was the grossest thing. i was so scared i didn't say anything to my parents for the longest time. lots of stuff happened .. too many to name.