I'm getting bullied by the men living right next door.. I'm 22 and the father there is years older than me, older than my parents, but when I pass by their house his voice gets harder, louder, once when i was in my room I could clearly hear him, standing right below my window, saying in a hard loud voice how he's going to kill something. once i turned off the light right while he was talking and he paused as if in response.
i dont even turn on the light in my room anymore. afraid of making any sound. moderated my voice because i admit it was negligently loud, but even now the moment they hear it, the sort of relative helper in their house starts making obnoxious singing and scraping his feet when he walks. later on the father starts talking in a hard loud voice too. im not sure but they might even go so far as get out of their house (the helper) to look through any windows in our house and when they see im there they start tormenting me.
it also seems that they do that to my other family members too. but since i am the only one who responds, who gets scared visibly enough, they do that. the voices of my other family members can be heard loud and clear many times but when i so much as grunt they start their disgusting routine. the daughter started being obnoxious towards me once but stopped.
it seems to have started years before, when i was much younger and much more likely to be left alone. the father there seems to have had his eye on my mom and was making no secret of it. my dad goes out with the neighbors including him, and gets drunk, and the way he is, he's pretty careless/negligent/even an idiot, but he works hard. that father once came to my mom at our gate, talked to her like she was just some rag, pregnant with her third child, asking where my father was. my mom even if she looked like that had a stable job, she was at the time the one supporting our family, as my father's business was down. she told him he wasn't there, and the conversation led to her saying that if she had a choice, she would never have chosen to live here. all those years we have no choice but to pass by their house, due to the lining of the houses, the other way is a dead end. and many times he would talk in a hard loud voice, how he is going to kill a bunch of people. as my mom passed. the helper also sort of verbally harasses her. my mom also told me they heard him saying (as you might see it's very easy to hear voices through the walls) once, how his own household was a disgrace, they should be living in a way that would gain the respect of their neighbors. we're more financially able now thanks to my mom joining my father's business and establishing a clear consistent system on their finances. now my mom says the father there feels shame towards her now and would finally leave her alone.
now is the problem how this all has anything to do with me. i was reasonably corteous to them before. i never said anything harmful to them. i don't mind them if they don't mind me. i (used to)smile at them when i need to. back then i didn't even know of this feud among them. but i do have personality problems and there could be little things, little annoyances that make it easy to hate me, make me an easy target for torment. i might also appear arrogant many times because of my 'i don't need anyone' belief in life. i know i have offended a lot of people at school as well, and i know for a fact that many people there are a lot nicer.
there's also the fact that we in the first place do not prefer them as friends. we don't have them in our house (we rarely have anyone in our house). i admit we have a lot of new things, and it's probably very visible that we have become well off. my parents bought them, and they have the right i mean they are getting older and older, they went through a lot of hardships to get here, let them enjoy a bit of luxury.
my parents keep on telling me there's something wrong with me and took me to a psychiatrist once and are offering to take me again. my mom says im only thinking of myself when i tell her about these anxieties. my father now i figure hasn't said anything about this but is offering to take me to the psychiatrist and that something is wrong with me. i told my mom i wanted to live somewhere else but she said im not ready yet since i cant clean my room. im a graduate. she said i should fight this. when it's quiet and it seems the next door people are away i tell her how glad i am and she or my dad just responds with this incredulous look like, why do i think like that, your fears are not legitemate, they doesn't exist.
now i'm learning a bit more about how harsh things can get in other places. so recently i'm being able to ignore them. and i see that gets them to quiet down. i'm still growing up, (these are things people probably learn at a much younger age.) learning how to look or think tough, bare minimum so that i wouldn't be trampled on by the harsh world. i am learning how to be a better person relative to the harsh outside world. but i am still afraid, what if they try to do something else now that they realize their previous way of torturing is being dealt with by me? what if they do something worse.
any thoughts on this, that can relate, comfort, assure, or understand. are welcome. sorry for the long post.
i dont even turn on the light in my room anymore. afraid of making any sound. moderated my voice because i admit it was negligently loud, but even now the moment they hear it, the sort of relative helper in their house starts making obnoxious singing and scraping his feet when he walks. later on the father starts talking in a hard loud voice too. im not sure but they might even go so far as get out of their house (the helper) to look through any windows in our house and when they see im there they start tormenting me.
it also seems that they do that to my other family members too. but since i am the only one who responds, who gets scared visibly enough, they do that. the voices of my other family members can be heard loud and clear many times but when i so much as grunt they start their disgusting routine. the daughter started being obnoxious towards me once but stopped.
it seems to have started years before, when i was much younger and much more likely to be left alone. the father there seems to have had his eye on my mom and was making no secret of it. my dad goes out with the neighbors including him, and gets drunk, and the way he is, he's pretty careless/negligent/even an idiot, but he works hard. that father once came to my mom at our gate, talked to her like she was just some rag, pregnant with her third child, asking where my father was. my mom even if she looked like that had a stable job, she was at the time the one supporting our family, as my father's business was down. she told him he wasn't there, and the conversation led to her saying that if she had a choice, she would never have chosen to live here. all those years we have no choice but to pass by their house, due to the lining of the houses, the other way is a dead end. and many times he would talk in a hard loud voice, how he is going to kill a bunch of people. as my mom passed. the helper also sort of verbally harasses her. my mom also told me they heard him saying (as you might see it's very easy to hear voices through the walls) once, how his own household was a disgrace, they should be living in a way that would gain the respect of their neighbors. we're more financially able now thanks to my mom joining my father's business and establishing a clear consistent system on their finances. now my mom says the father there feels shame towards her now and would finally leave her alone.
now is the problem how this all has anything to do with me. i was reasonably corteous to them before. i never said anything harmful to them. i don't mind them if they don't mind me. i (used to)smile at them when i need to. back then i didn't even know of this feud among them. but i do have personality problems and there could be little things, little annoyances that make it easy to hate me, make me an easy target for torment. i might also appear arrogant many times because of my 'i don't need anyone' belief in life. i know i have offended a lot of people at school as well, and i know for a fact that many people there are a lot nicer.
there's also the fact that we in the first place do not prefer them as friends. we don't have them in our house (we rarely have anyone in our house). i admit we have a lot of new things, and it's probably very visible that we have become well off. my parents bought them, and they have the right i mean they are getting older and older, they went through a lot of hardships to get here, let them enjoy a bit of luxury.
my parents keep on telling me there's something wrong with me and took me to a psychiatrist once and are offering to take me again. my mom says im only thinking of myself when i tell her about these anxieties. my father now i figure hasn't said anything about this but is offering to take me to the psychiatrist and that something is wrong with me. i told my mom i wanted to live somewhere else but she said im not ready yet since i cant clean my room. im a graduate. she said i should fight this. when it's quiet and it seems the next door people are away i tell her how glad i am and she or my dad just responds with this incredulous look like, why do i think like that, your fears are not legitemate, they doesn't exist.
now i'm learning a bit more about how harsh things can get in other places. so recently i'm being able to ignore them. and i see that gets them to quiet down. i'm still growing up, (these are things people probably learn at a much younger age.) learning how to look or think tough, bare minimum so that i wouldn't be trampled on by the harsh world. i am learning how to be a better person relative to the harsh outside world. but i am still afraid, what if they try to do something else now that they realize their previous way of torturing is being dealt with by me? what if they do something worse.
any thoughts on this, that can relate, comfort, assure, or understand. are welcome. sorry for the long post.
