"Brain Freezes" (Mind Blanks) in conversation

[tooshytosay]

It's not that I don't know what to say
It's not that I have nothing to say

It's just that, when I am brought upon to say something -
Suddenly, I don't know what to say
Suddenly, I have nothing to say

It might seem like a paradox, but that is the paradox of living with SA.

Really, it's killing me. I feel embarassed right off the face of this planet because of this.

I don't know why it happens. I don't know why my brain completely shuts down when I am called to speak. Suddenly, I am unable to speak coherently. I just start speaking this incomprehensive, inaudible mumbo-jumbo. Either that or I'm going "ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" "errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr" for ages and ages trying to think of what to say.

If you thought writer's block was bad, it's nothing compared to this, what I call "speaker's block". At least when you are having writer's block you are by yourself - when you are having speaker's block you have this person looking at you waiting for you to say something. And whatever I try to "rush out" of my mouth under such conditions are such stupid things that are a far cry from what I really wanted to say.

If I were to describe what it feels like - normally, I'd be having this "TV" playing on inside my brain - my thoughts; but suddenly, when I'm required to speak, it's like someone pulled that plug out of that TV - everything that was there gets rushed out, and all I "see" becomes utter blankness, utter emptiness. I try to say something - but I just feel like banging my head against a wall - i.e., nothing comes into fruition.

I just hate it, I really, really do. It really turns me into a fool. I get embarassed, the person talking to me gets embarassed, everything turns awkward, and I just feel like I want to disappear - literally - from the face of this earth.

This happens too much for it to be bearable.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

I completely understand because I'm the exact same way.

 

[DarkSeeker]

I've been trying to find a solution to that for a long time, but my main problem is that I never (literally never) have any occasion of actually having a real conversation with someone.

My theory so far, is that I have to purposely and consciously create awkward moments to get rid of this, instead of letting my brain fogs do it for me in even more awkward ways.

And by awkward moments I mean, how could I explain this, like for example explaining to the other person that you're feeling nervous and ask them for a moment to put your mind together. It most likely wouldn't work on the first time, but the key thing here is to try to emotionally reconnect with yourself and allow yourself to feel nervous without messing you up.

Easier said than done

 

[Elenwen]

I have absolutely no advice, but I understand where you're coming from. I'm the same way--when someone else is talking to me I'm organizing my thoughts in my head and planning out what I'm going to say, but when it's finally my turn to say something, something completely different comes out, and normally it's not very intelligent, ha.

 

[BrokenSailor]

Happens to me all the time..especially if someone unexpected catches me off guard, or if I'm talking to my father..that guy has always made me feel inferior and less of a man compared to him so I always go blank when we "chat"

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Like most things, it really depends on the situation. But as others here have stated, I do fairly well relying on a set of generic responses for casual chit-chat situations that serve me pretty well. Say them enough times and they become ingrained, your brain doesn't really need to think at all--covers common situations, anyway.

Tooshy, you speak of this happening when you're 'called on to speak'. Does this refer to a classroom situation, or what?

 

[tooshytosay]

Like most things, it really depends on the situation. But as others here have stated, I do fairly well relying on a set of generic responses for casual chit-chat situations that serve me pretty well. Say them enough times and they become ingrained, your brain doesn't really need to think at all--covers common situations, anyway.

Tooshy, you speak of this happening when you're 'called on to speak'. Does this refer to a classroom situation, or what?

Basically any situation really =(, when it becomes "my turn to speak" - like in a conversation they might ask me a question, or make it really obvious they want me to make a comment.

To me it just seems to happen all the time - whether it be with my family / friends / colleagues / strangers, whatever; just any situation where I have to talk to another human being.

On the other hand I am quite good at having "conversations" with people who just blabber on by themselves all day, and I just... listen. But then again most people usually end up asking something along the lines of "why are you so quiet???"

 

[Emily_G]

I'm better with this, I used to be really bad. It still happens sometimes in front of a group and when I'm really nervous about speaking in front of them. I will act like I'm listening to the question...but I'm too worried about stuttering on my answer, so I'll totally miss it and say something that only half way makes sense. Ugh annoying!

 

[Richey]

yes this is me at work, there are probably 6-7 people walking around me for an 8 hour shift, non-stop, but its so busy that you dont have alot of time to speak, but i try to when i can, i just find it very awkward for some reason and when someone asks me a question on the spot i don't know what the hell to say so i say the expected boring thing, i'm trying to respond with something humerous because eveyrone seems to joke around easily in conversation using sarcasm...i just end up saying something forgettable under pressure or i mumble because i feel uncomfortable being there..because there is a clique where i work....its really tricky...i suppose if you are a good conversastionalist or just funny you'd find it easy but under pressure i seem to really crack and stay quiet. i don't like being that way though...i often feel that i affect the mood at work because the pressure to perform makes me very quiet and focussed. i can't wait to find a new job.

 

[Nocer]

maybe you are inexperienced in the secret art of conversation

young grasshopper

practicing is the key