Boyfriend hasn't contacted me for a week (very out of the ordinary)

[godchild]

Im a very very shy person by nature and he is my first boyfriend. We were together for 2 months...relationships are hard for me so 2 months is a lot for me. Everything is rainbows. Our last get together was a sweet goodbye (he has to go home for spring break). He left some of his clothes here and some of his dog's stuff (so I took it as a good sign of future returns).

During break he texted me a handful of times randomly and between days because he was so busy (probably family matters). Anyways, spring break is over now and he SHOULD be back at law school.

Now this whole entire week his cell was off, no text, no AIM, no gmail chat. This is strange, he usuallt text once a day. So this makes me VERY worry that something has happened to him (like car accident or hospitalization..death ) I know he has family members on Facebook but I feel stupid asking if he is OK because they probably don't even know I exist yet.

But he is a law student so is a week really that out of the normal? What happened to him? How would I know if he is OK..

 

[Thelema]

Sounds bad for the relationship between you two.

 

[Tomasso]

my girlfriend and i text everyday (we live 500 miles apart). If my phone isn't working or i am doing something where i wouldn't be able to answer a text or call, i tell her. she does the same for me. if my phone wasn't working i would u tell her on facebook. i don't think this is a good thing.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

It was normal for my boyfriend and I to not speak for months sometimes-- when we lived apart. (People didn't text back then) haha


If it's unusual, though-- something may have happened to him.
You still have his things at your place and he hasn't contacted you at all about them?
Do you know any of his relatives or friends who you could ask about him to make sure he's okay?

 

[godchild]

Thanks for the replies you guys.

I know it sounds really really bad - what if he did get into an accident and the text I send him was ... the last thing ... ugh..

I know he has a sister on Facebook but I am afraid to ask. If it isn't true and he just decided to dump me cold...it would be embarrassing for me to go check that with his mom via Facebook - Im very shy I don't have the guts.

What if he got into an car accident on the way back to school? Is there anything I can Google to see if an accident happened where he is?

I am more worried about his safety because I do not believe he would dump me if the last thing he did was leave all his stuff here (and buy new stuff to leave here). I am so terrified I had an anxiety attack this morning and couldn't get to class. I don't know what to do...

He is a law student and theyre busy but he's never been this busy. I mean if you have time to eat or sit you can send a quick text, right?

 

[Thelema]

Thanks for the replies you guys.

I know it sounds really really bad - what if he did get into an accident and the text I send him was ... the last thing ... ugh..

I know he has a sister on Facebook but I am afraid to ask. If it isn't true and he just decided to dump me cold...it would be embarrassing for me to go check that with his mom via Facebook - Im very shy I don't have the guts.

What if he got into an car accident on the way back to school? Is there anything I can Google to see if an accident happened where he is?

I am more worried about his safety because I do not believe he would dump me if the last thing he did was leave all his stuff here (and buy new stuff to leave here). I am so terrified I had an anxiety attack this morning and couldn't get to class. I don't know what to do...

He is a law student and theyre busy but he's never been this busy. I mean if you have time to eat or sit you can send a quick text, right?

He might just be spineless and thinks if he ignores you long enough you'll get the hint...if something happened to him, wouldn't his sister's facebook say something about it?

You should text or call him and demand an explanation. You deserve one.

 

[godchild]

He might just be spineless and thinks if he ignores you long enough you'll get the hint...if something happened to him, wouldn't his sister's facebook say something about it?

You should text or call him and demand an explanation. You deserve one.

Maybe yes, that would actually be better. I would prefer to think he's healthy and safe even if he is actively avoiding me. I can move on from him if he is a secret jerk. But ... i know him, he wouldn't do that to me.

I waited a week (because if he is busy I want to give him time). It's now a week, I called him 3 times today and everything went to voicemail.

How long do you think it is appropriate to wait until serious panic sets in and I email his mother (how desperate would that come off)?

Is it logical for some students to "shut off" so they can study without distractions? ..it's not even final exam season yet.

 

[Kinetik]

It's not desperate at all to ask one of his family members what's going on. You are completely entitled to do that. And how is it they don't know of you? That is a bad sign in and of itself. Either way, I would just go ahead and do it. It's your right to know.

 

[Boby]

He might just be spineless and thinks if he ignores you long enough you'll get the hint...if something happened to him, wouldn't his sister's facebook say something about it?

You should text or call him and demand an explanation. You deserve one.

Hint??What kind of sick hint is that?Leaving your stuff behind and vanishing.
Also why would his sister facebook say anything??Your brother is injured or worse and you even consider opening your PC /laptop?

My advice to godchild ,contact his family.

 

[Squall]

Hint??What kind of sick hint is that?Leaving your stuff behind and vanishing.
Also why would his sister facebook say anything??Your brother is injured or worse and you even consider opening your PC /laptop?

My advice to godchild ,contact his family.

100% agree.

 

[Thelema]

Maybe yes, that would actually be better. I would prefer to think he's healthy and safe even if he is actively avoiding me. I can move on from him if he is a secret jerk. But ... i know him, he wouldn't do that to me.

I waited a week (because if he is busy I want to give him time). It's now a week, I called him 3 times today and everything went to voicemail.

How long do you think it is appropriate to wait until serious panic sets in and I email his mother (how desperate would that come off)?

Is it logical for some students to "shut off" so they can study without distractions? ..it's not even final exam season yet.

No, nobody is that busy to not answer the phone.

I'd personally wait a few more days for them to contact me, but it wouldn't be too much to email his mom and ask if anything is up with him.

 

[ありがとう]

If a guy really likes you and cares for you he would go out of his way to at least text you, or let you know something is up, instead of making you worried. One text is really not that time-consuming.

On the other hand he may have been an accident, but what's the likelihood of that happening? Give it some time. If another week passed by you'll have to move on.

I'm just saying because I was in a similar kind of situation and found out I was dumped without my knowledge even though I never imagined he would do this kind of thing.

 

[godchild]

OK I will do that, I believe his mom and his sister is on Facebook. Which one do I contact? His mother has an email would it be more professional to ask her there? Which one does she checks more often? What do I say? How would I start? If everything is fine they'll think I'm insanely clingy.

 

[godchild]

If a guy really likes you and cares for you he would go out of his way to at least text you, or let you know something is up, instead of making you worried. One text is really not that time-consuming.

On the other hand he may have been an accident, but what's the likelihood of that happening? Give it some time. If another week passed by you'll have to move on.

I'm just saying because I was in a similar kind of situation and found out I was dumped without my knowledge even though I never imagined he would do this kind of thing.

Oh I'm sorry that happened to you. (If you don't mind me asking) How did you eventually find out he wanted to break up?

Usually when I check my Gmail I see his phone is signed into Gmail Chat but it hasn't for a whole week. *cries* So my options are
1. Hes injuried/dea.../kidnapped/god knows what.
2. He wants nothing to do with me.

 

[BlackPuma]

I'd say contact his family either way. It could be that he's swamped, it could have been a accident, it could be anything really. In your situation it's not unreasonable to want to know what's going on, especial if you went from good contact to not contact at all, that behavior is out of the ordinary.

 

[ありがとう]

Oh I'm sorry that happened to you. (If you don't mind me asking) How did you eventually find out he wanted to break up?

Usually when I check my Gmail I see his phone is signed into Gmail Chat but it hasn't for a whole week. *cries* So my options are
1. Hes injuried/dea.../kidnapped/god knows what.
2. He wants nothing to do with me.

I bumped into him.

If you're that worried maybe you should contact his family/friends.

 

[godchild]

I'd say contact his family either way. It could be that he's swamped, it could have been a accident, it could be anything really. In your situation it's not unreasonable to want to know what's going on, especial if you went from good contact to not contact at all, that behavior is out of the ordinary.

I bumped into him.

If you're that worried maybe you should contact his family/friends.

I started lightly stalked around Facebook before I started asking around like a mad obsessed woman-child. I don't see anything ... I can't see their wall post but everything seems to be fine/no change. Also I haven't seen anything new on my boyfriends wall for the past week.

I guess I'm just trying to reassure myself he's safe so I don't have to bother his sister...

Thank you all for the replies, I really really appreciate it ::

 

[Silatuyok]

Yeesh, I'm sorry you're having to go through this. I think I would have had a nervous breakdown by now if I were in that situation. I think it's perfectly fine to try contacting his mom or sister. If nothing else, it shows that you are concerned, and if he is being a jerk then that will only reflect worse on him when his mom finds out what he has done...
I would suggest just saying something to the effect of hi, I'm so-and-so's friend, I have been trying to contact him for ____ days and I haven't been able to reach him, this is unusual and I just wanted to check and make sure something hadn't happened to him/make sure he is doing okay, etc.