Born a virgin...Die a virgin

[MadCat]

And you're right Neebo. We're probably talking out our arses though because we really don't have experience in that do we? ROFL

But yeah, that's what I also think a serious relationship should be like. Although SEX seems to be sooooo much more common than love. Shame really!

 

[LittleMissScareAll]

I completely agree with you Thoughtless - you need to have a positive attitude in life. If people are thinking "oh I am going to have social anxiety for the rest of my life"...well I guess they will with that attitude.

I can't have any other attitude. I've always had social phobia, and I've had many other mental problems since I was a kid. They can't be fixed, because I'm not a rich person and I never will be. Getting the help I need would cost way too much money for a poor person like me, and my insurance won't cover it...I'm sure they see it as "social phobia, anxiety, & depression are not serious problems" :roll: Obviously, since the insurance won't cover it. I've tried medicine and it doesn't help me, so obviously I'd need years & years and many other years of therapy or something...which I can't afford. And then it still may not work for me. Though if I was rich, that would probably cure the depression...at least I could quit work and stay home all the time and not have to worry about ANYTHING ever again!

 

[gale]

Talk about self-esteem :?

Social Phobia doesn't last forever. It's a psychological thing. If you keep thinking the way you think right now then I'm sorry but you won't get over it.

Just start doing stuff that would be positive for you. Small steps that grow bigger with time! Start working out, eating healthy food, sleeping properly, going out in the day for a small walk after breakfast or lunch, go to the store buying some milk/bread/whatever. All those "small" things. Eventually, by getting out of your house, you'll end up meeting someone, who knows? These things are very unpredictable.

Truth is, if you keep thinking you're a loser and your life sucks, you won't move on.

In case your SP is "too" serious, go see a counselor... Get some help, get some support from your family and stuff. Don't try dealing with social phobia all by yourself!

 

[MadCat]

Wow, that actually was an excellent reply LittleMissScareAll....

A point that is rarely brought up. I agree with her completely! I can tell you from experience that here the NHS blow me off really bad and the amount of income I have is very small anyway. The only thing I really have an option for is anti-depressants and I won't take them.

I cannot afford the therapy I need. The therapy I need costs money and the NHS will not cover it. I must first leave my home and I am unlikely to be able to do that for many years. Ihave been locked away during my teenage years and during puberty. It is part of me to not go out and I could never go out EVER again unless help could come to me. The NHS does not cover it and I do not get what I need.

I need some form of therapy from home. Listen to this!

I have a fear of doctors, surgeries and everything else to do with that. They require me to go up to a doctors surgery for THErAPY...What is that crap? I can't even go out let alone sit in a stupid room with PEOPLE that are loaded with infuenza and rhinoviruses and risk putting myself into a suicidal state again.

My resources to not cover what will probably make me better.

 

[ColdFury]

I understand it is hard for some, but sitting around and saying it is hard is not helping either, right?

Just because someone isn't "positive" doesn't mean they aren't doing anything.

I've paid several thousands of dollars for therapy, medications, psychologists, etc, etc. None of it has helped. There comes a point where I stop smiling and thinking its all so simple as being positive.

 

[MadCat]

Hey there ColdFury. While I haven't been able to afford therapy, I'm sure it'd help me greatly. But I agree with you on everythig.

I too am sick of the attitude about positive only = better.

Being positive is good
Being negative is bad
Being in the middle is balance


If you are too positive you suck
If you are too negative you suck

This is the conclusion I have come up with. Yeah I suck any worser than those who revel in being positive. Each one can bring different results and each can bring a cure for different situations.

 

[gale]

well thoughtless you said that we should not deal our sp alone .but what if i cant afford to hire a therapist?i'm dealing with my sp alone i device a plan on how to get rid of this problem and i hope this will work.i can't even seek help from my family because they dont understand it.when i talk about it they would just say "oh you're just a shy person ,get over it."i'm from the philippines and people here are interdependent on each other which makes it more difficult for me because i prefer to be alone because being with other people is frightening.most people here in the philippines didn't know what sp is.

 

[annie]

I completely agree with you Thoughtless - you need to have a positive attitude in life. If people are thinking "oh I am going to have social anxiety for the rest of my life"...well I guess they will with that attitude.

I can't have any other attitude. I've always had social phobia, and I've had many other mental problems since I was a kid. They can't be fixed, because I'm not a rich person and I never will be. Getting the help I need would cost way too much money for a poor person like me, and my insurance won't cover it...I'm sure they see it as "social phobia, anxiety, & depression are not serious problems" :roll: Obviously, since the insurance won't cover it. I've tried medicine and it doesn't help me, so obviously I'd need years & years and many other years of therapy or something...which I can't afford. And then it still may not work for me. Though if I was rich, that would probably cure the depression...at least I could quit work and stay home all the time and not have to worry about ANYTHING ever again!

I know it is hard to get help if you are not able to afford it, health system stinks in most countries :x
My friend was living on the poverty line and she managed to get herself better. She did see some shrinks here and there and most told her that she would be on medication the rest of her life. Well she sure proved them wrong...she was against medication, she did alot of work on her own, she joined support groups, took part in self development programs, improved her self esteem and away she went. She is an inspiration to me and others who know from the hole she was in and to where she is now and still she ain't a rich lady, believe me :wink:
You need to believe in yourself and believe that you can beat this OR at least manage it.

On the other hand we have heard of many celebrities with depression etc., and with all their money some of them have taken drastic action like Paul Hester from Crowded House who committed suicide earlier this year, not to mention other people who end up addicted to drugs and overdose accidentally.

Rich or poor, its up to the individual to help themselves.

annie

 

[MadCat]

Rich or poor, its up to the individual to help themselves.

I found that quite offending Annie. I know you were talking about a specific subject but I hope you don't believe that to be in all cases of mental illness.

However the disability, there are some alot of situation and illnesses where an individual cannot help themselves. Every person has a different amount to deal with and each person also has mainy reasons why they cannot help themselves.

Sometimes, a little less than half, the person just can't help themselves and needs help from others, regardless of rich or poor. However, the poor get pushed over on this case because help is generally not widespread for them.

Ofcourse unless the person has already got themselves a nice network of support. A poor person has it tough in a situation where one feels like they cannot help themselves. Not just feels, but believes.

 

[annie]

Rich or poor, its up to the individual to help themselves.

I found that quite offending Annie. I know you were talking about a specific subject but I hope you don't believe that to be in all cases of mental illness.

However the disability, there are some alot of situation and illnesses where an individual cannot help themselves. Every person has a different amount to deal with and each person also has mainy reasons why they cannot help themselves.

Sometimes, a little less than half, the person just can't help themselves and needs help from others, regardless of rich or poor. However, the poor get pushed over on this case because help is generally not widespread for them.

Ofcourse unless the person has already got themselves a nice network of support. A poor person has it tough in a situation where one feels like they cannot help themselves. Not just feels, but believes.

I am sorry MadCat my post was not to offend anyone. I do strongly believe that IF you are able to help yourself DO IT don't just talk about it and I am not referring to you MadCat. I know alot of people who constantly go on about their situation and have the means and the money to do something about their situation but don't. I am very well aware that there are alot of people also who are severely handicapped with their situation and also have no support network.
Basically I think we have a really shitty mental health system all over the world and obviously the governments do not care about putting money where it is needed like health and education. I guess some times we are in a no win situation. I strongly believe that if you are able to help yourself, do it though :wink:
My 2 cents worth.

Have a nice day.

annie

 

[ColdFury]

No, depression is not just as simple as exercising or garbage like that to get rid of.

I've tried medications and therapy and I'm still depressed all the time. Exercising just makes me feel even worse. I spend most of the day just wanting to sleep all of the time.

 

[annie]

No, depression is not just as simple as exercising or garbage like that to get rid of.

I've tried medications and therapy and I'm still depressed all the time. Exercising just makes me feel even worse. I spend most of the day just wanting to sleep all of the time.

Hi ColdFury,
I have a friend that suffers from depression and he used to exercise, that is just going for long runs, but unfortunately he hurt his leg just before christmas so isn't able to go for runs anymore. He said that exercising did help him to a certain point, was not the solution, but he is involved in alot of activities and keeps his mind occupied. He loves going bird watching, and he is involved with other nature groups which obviously help him. He is currently doing a placement at an organisation which he is finding a little difficult with his anxiety as he needs to deal with alot of people, but he has got in under control.
I think people just need to find something that they feel comfortable doing so you can occupy your time. I know distraction is not the best thing, but if it helps, why not?
I know with depression who cannot just snap out of it, if we did, alot of shrinks would be out of work :wink: I myself went through a bad patch a few years back and I had no alternative but to go on meds and that did help and now as I feel much better I am weaning myself of the medication. I hope you find something that can help you.
Take care.

annie

 

[ColdFury]

I wish I had something to do that could distract me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I can barely leave my house without having a panic attack. There's only so much I can do in my room without become bored and then depressed even more.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

all i have to say is thank whoever for changing the thread title!!! the "Bron" irritated the help out of me

 

[MadCat]

I play online games and offline games alot. It stops me thinking about my life and totally makes me blank out what goes on around me. That's how I deal with depression.

Not such a good way But it's got me by.

 

[lifesnotfair]

i'm glad my posts are such a hit

 

[MadCat]

lol lifesnotfair.

Most of the stuff you post I can relate to quite well, but most of the other stuff people post I find it difficult it not possible.

 

[SilverLiner]

all i have to say is thank whoever for changing the thread title!!! the "Bron" irritated the help out of me

lol me too, I didn't like to say anything :lol:

 

[ChrisC]

I can't believe that I'm going to post this, but, I'm a virgin too and I'm a 35 year old bloke still living at home with his parents.

It kills me inside too. I have had several opportunities to lose it over the years, but I just panic and get out of it somehow. This is a very bad idea, and I really would liked to have stayed around and "done the deed" as it were, but I never did and now I'm in a hell of a hole and the chances no longer seem to come by anymore, mainly because I rarely go out "on the town" through fear of various things.

 

[lifesnotfair]

i have just given up