Boring life story of a gangly critter: journal thing introduction

GanglyCritter

GanglyCritter

Member
And an update to my day, wow.
Mother just came home and I just want to pick up one of the very knives she's telling me to clean and slit my throat.
It's like all she knows is how to complain.

I hope she keels over and dies sometime soon.
I hate the fact that I can say that and feel close to no guilt.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
GanglyCritter said:
I suffer from unilateral deafness and I was shaken as a child, leaving me with brain damage, cerebellar ataxia and seizures.
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Wow, Crista, I'm really sorry. You could probably get some compensation out of this...if you wanted to go down that road. I'm not sure.

Your mother sounds like a horrible woman.
 
GanglyCritter

GanglyCritter

Member
Though my mother wasn't the one that shook me, she's still rather horrible. My sister tries to avoid speaking with her at all costs, and I want to get out of this house as fast as humanly and financially possible. I unfortunately don't see this happening anytime soon. I'm sorry I complain a lot. By the end of the day, I just need to vent.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
It's fine. I'm sorry you went through some hard times. ::(: You still are right now. I completely understand not being able to leave for financial reasons - I have the same problem.
 
GanglyCritter

GanglyCritter

Member
Feeling pretty good today, still getting bothered by Mother Hellbeast.
Haven't heard anything back on that job I went to an interview for, beginning to lose hope.
Guess I'm going to be spending much of my time on ebay today.

Feel like going out though. Maybe walk around, but I wonder if any nice places are open right now.
 
L

laure15

Well-known member
That counselor sounds horrible; I wonder why some people become counselors in the first place when they don't even try to empathize with their patients.

I also lower my voice or become mute when someone yells at me, depending on how hostile that person is.

Anyways, welcome to the forum!
 
U

user deleted

Guest
Welcome to the forum. I have issues with volume and other sensory stimuli when I'm stressed out, I think it's fairly common.

A friend of mine's mother has munchausen-by-proxy and though the situation differs somewhat to use would also use her to gain sympathy etc. Must be really difficult for you.

I do think you were extremely unlucky with your experience with counsellors. I think it would be a lot different if you managed to find one now. I really think it could prove beneficial and it's unlikely you'd be struck with the same bad luck twice.
 
A

Articulate

Banned
I feel really sorry about how your mum has been totally inconcsistent with all this!!! That's just flat out wrong, and I hope her mistreatment of your problems doesn't make you too hopeless about the future.

I also feel for you on you AWFUL school counsellor. A messy or flat out lazy write up done early in someone's life can cause you numerous problems later on. Is there no way you can get into the treatment system without them collating all of your prior records?

Have you considered self-medicating to overcome your anxt about leaving the house?
 
NP88

NP88

Well-known member
Welcome to the forums Crista. Your among friends here.

In my experience the teen years are the worst if your suffering from depression/social anxiety. It gets better if not tolerable as time goes by. Just hang in there. It only gets easier. If you want to talk just send me a PM, I'll be around.
 
GanglyCritter

GanglyCritter

Member
RIP to Chazz. Found out that a Host on a game I'm a regular on passed away on Thanksgiving in an ATV accident. Stalled as he was coasting down a hill.

Goodness, it's a sad week. ):
 
N

Nathália

Well-known member
GanglyCritter said:
Self-medicating sounds like a fine idea, but it's another thing I'd probably get booted out of the house for (I'm often already threatened with homelessness for simple things such as doing the dishes, even when said dishes were not used by me). Medicine is the devil to my mother, apparently.

These days, I find counselors and therapy to be a bit too invasive for my liking. I have no idea what to do about getting actual treatment. I don't even know where to start when it comes to that.

When it comes to leaving the house, I spend ages trying to pick out wearing something that won't get me laughed at. I don't even feel an urge to go out. I sort of feel like there really isn't anything for me out there, like there's no point.
On an unrelated note, I want to hang out with my best friend, but her sister hates me. Her sister controls her life, decided I was a weirdo because I draw and won't talk to anyone ever. Her decision? She spread a rumor about me being into beastiality and I had numerous people approach me throughout the rest of my school days and ask if I was that girl that f***ed dogs.

Children are cruel and the only friend I have is the internet.
Thank you for welcoming me, guys. It's been really nice here so far.
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People who go after innocent people for very poor reason and aggressively to add like your situations, are already less beautiful and should be considered the weirdo's. This sounds like a lot of unnecessary anger that does not have anything to do with you directly. You say you just draw and are to yourself, it doesn't make sense for someone to have so much anger towards you because of that reason.
 
GanglyCritter

GanglyCritter

Member
I'm not against the idea of therapy itself, I know that talking and discussing your problems can be very beneficial. I just have a very deep hatred of the therapists themselves. I lost most of my trust in them when I was forced into counseling after being a bit suicidal when I was 10-11. Everything I ever said (even when not related to suicide) was forwarded to my mother and she would continue on to freak out at me about how I have so many problems because of my father (he left the family when I was 5 or 6), how I treat him like he's some sort of god.

I'm feeling a bit better now. Emotionally, though. I came down with something really nasty a couple days ago and went to the doctor. They did a swab for strep, said it wasn't clear or something, but his best guess was strep or mono.
I never leave the house, so I don't know where I got it from.

On the bright side, I think I've got a budding relationship starting. He's so sweet. :3
 
dean01

dean01

Well-known member
welcome to the forum crista, i can relate to your issues with your mum and had a hatred of counsellors, unfortunatly you get what you pay for in this world. welcome :)
 
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