WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
Being able to see my reflection- and not feeling disgusted by it.
A minimal amount of self-esteem.
Body dysmorphic disorder
- Thread starter JamesAnderson20
- Start date
Being able to see my reflection- and not feeling disgusted by it.
A minimal amount of self-esteem.
ridicule
Well-known member
Is that something you could achieve on your own internally or could maybe something someone could do or say to change your mind?
WeirdyMcGee
Well-known member
I've been searching for something I can do and trying things for 2 years.
Therapy, self-esteem workshops, exercise, diet change, taking photos every day-- a laundry list of things; no positive results yet.
So, I'm not sure what I can do.
I'd prefer it to be something I do for myself.
I cannot depend on another person for my self esteem- that seems counter productive to me. If they leave one day, I'll be broken again even worse.
nodejesque
Well-known member
I definitely suffer from Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). I don't know why.. I don't have a history of being bullied or have any recolection of any kind of abuse. But I get extremely uncomfortable taking pictures. Or worse, when someone compliments me.. I think its done to humor me. I feel so ugly, hideous. I know its irrational but I don't know what's wrong with me. I have a large family and im the 6th of 7 children. I've always given this social and outgoing facade, but in reality my perception of my "ugliness" is getting worse as I get older. Im not shallow... I see the ugliness only in myself. This issue has now evolved to the feeling of being worthless. Or not worthy of those around me. I try to challenge myself... I posted my picture on here earlier, and some of you were kind enough to compliment me. I don't know why I feel this way.. im hideous.
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
Sometimes I think BDD and SA are a beautiful person's disease. I missed your picture but other members here also feel hideous and if you look at their pictures, they are in fact very attractive.
It's all in your head of course.
nodejesque
Well-known member
I tried to challenge myself to leave it up until I got off of work. Ill put it back up. I was so nervous the whole time I had it up. The thing is that a act confident at work, school, and with my family. But I feel so crappy. I've never brought it up to them because Ive kept up the front for too long. I avoid pictures at all costs and don't participate in social media sites. Some days it gets so bad...
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
I think it's good that you can act confident even though it's a front. I only sometimes can do that. Most of the time I feel awkward and self conscious.
Love to see your pic. I'll comment.
nodejesque
Well-known member
Im just learning to use this site.. and this phone. I tried to attack h the picture but itim not sure if im doing this right. So I just put it as the profile picture. As for the act I put on, its good for a while... but now im stuck at a place where no one really knows me. A stranger to friends and family..
ImNotMyIllness
Well-known member
You're an attractive girl! It's okay to feel insecure and vulnerable. Everyone does. I don't think that makes you a phony or unauthentic. I would view more as putting on a strong front.
nodejesque
Well-known member
It gets so hard some days. Ive always been really active and independent, even though I've always felt ugly. But its getting progressively worse. I work three jobs tight now... all of which I have to work with people. Before I just acknowledged that I was ugly and avoided mirrors and looking at myself. But now, with pressure from my family to "settle down" or find someone its brought on depression. I can't be honest with them because they wouldn't understand. There's days where this feeling of ugliness and loneliness is so consuming and there's no where to turn to... that I end up just crying alone in my apartment. I know its irrational, so then I try to understand what's wrong with me. Ultimately I end up searching for what's NOT wrong with me.
Nonsense.
That's not helpful.
Anyone who suspects they might have BDD should get diagnosed by a mental health professional instead of just labelling themselves with a serious condition after reading about it on the Wikipedia et al. BDD is far more nuanced than perceiving oneself as 'ugly' or disliking having their photograph taken. And it would seem more and more people are claiming to have BDD without any input from a psychologist/psychiatrist as the term is forever being incorrectly bandied about in the media these days. It's as ludicrous as someone stating they have anorexia because they skip a few meals...
hexagon_sun
Well-known member
BDD is caused by a lack of self-confidence/ self-esteem and whatever contributes to that whether it is sexual abuse or neglect, SA, ASD, inherent low ego strength (drive), etc... It is rarely to do with how people look. There are "ugly" people who lead happy and fulfilling lives because they have good coping skills and personalities to readily deal with adverse situations. Not to say we can't do the same. It's just going to take more work for us unfortunately...