P
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I've always been a bit of a blusher but over the last year the problem has escalated into a crippling, irrational, but totally inescapable issue. I blush when talking one on one to most people, more so with members of the opposite sex and even more uncontrollably if i'm talking to someone and someone else is sort of observing looking at me for the answer. The really absolutely worst, most out of control blushing is when i'm talking to someone who it would be completely inappropriate for me to like sexually, who i really really would never have feelings for and I don't want them or other people to think i do. So it happens the most awfully when I talk to male members of my family, my friend's boyfriends, minors, that sort of thing. Obviously it's a ridiculous vicious cycle, so those are precisely the people that end up thinking that I do have a weird thing about them and I get more and more worried about it. It's awful though because I just end up avoiding them all. I spend a lot of time in bed 'with a headache' just so I won't have to go and sit with my family at the dinner table THE WORST SITUATION EVER by the way because you are facing someone straight on and there are people either side of you no escape ugh. I spend quite literally all of my time thinking about blushing and other people's interpretation of it, which obviously is pathetic, but my acknowledgment of that doesn't really help. Making it worse I have actually had several weird propositions from totally inappropriate people who seem to have been under the impression that i was in love with them due entirely to my episodes of blushing around them thus confirming all of my fears. Does anyone else have a similar complex I wonder. I'm ok if the lighting is dimmed, if I'm wearing sunglasses or i'm completely wasted (though being only tipsy makes things a lot worse). Sadly none of these are especially practical for employing permanently.