Bitterness

[redski]

Hey all,

I have a question.
I have noticed because of SA and everything that comes with
it as a person with anxiety I cannot help to feel bitter about well,
how can I put it, missing out on life.

How do you guys handle this feeling?

 

[lyricalliaisons]

The only thing I can do is not dwell on it. Until pretty recently, I never thought about it & it never bothered me much, but it does now. I just try not to dwell on it because there's nothing I can do to make up for all the time I've lost out on.

 

[redski]

It used to make me bitter to think about being stuck with this silly shyness whilst others dont have it. But then if you start to let bitterness eat at you it will change your personality and not in a nice way.

This is why I asked. I have noticed that I have mood swings.
Like real anger.
Not that I take it out on anyone but I do not like those feelings.

An example would be, I run into a girl I once fancied, she is walking with her boyfriend.
She ignores me and I think to myself maybe I could have been that guy but here I am still single.

 

[redski]

Yeah, its not a nice train of thought to get into mate.

Best way out of it is to try to concentrate on actively fixing/improving your SA and try not to dwell on what other people have.

I know its easier said than done, but you'd be amazed the difference it makes.

And remember, that bitter feeling is just a temporary thing, it's not your true personality, so you can fix it!

Thanks. I will as best as I can.

 

[userremoved]

Yeah, its not a nice train of thought to get into mate.

Best way out of it is to try to concentrate on actively fixing/improving your SA and try not to dwell on what other people have.

I know its easier said than done, but you'd be amazed the difference it makes.

And remember, that bitter feeling is just a temporary thing, it's not your true personality, so you can fix it!

I find it almost impossible to not think of what others have or what could have been. Especially since I recognize the fact that time will one day run out for me. Sad as it is to admit, my bitterness caused me to lose my faith as well. I just wish there was a way to either fix things overnight or ask for more time.

 

[redski]

...
If you're trying to "Fix things overnight" or worrying about "Time running out", then you're putting some huge pressure on yourself, which will just make the anxiety and bitter feeling even worse.

Just try to improve the problem one little step/challenge at a time.
...

This is also what I do. I put to much pressure on myself.
That time running out this is so familiar to me.

 

[lithium]

I experience bitterness on a daily basis. It's a vicious cycle.

 

[recluse]

My bitterness comes and goes.....Some days i feel bitter, other days i could not care less about how 'great' other peoples lives are.

I know how it feels redski when i get a bitter day and i think ''why me!?''

 

[philly2bits]

I won't say I don't think about the past at all and about the things I could have done differently. I certainly think about it more too when I am feeling depressed. But I try not to dwell on it too much. Not to the point of it breeding bitterness and resentment. I have seen with a few members of my family where a lifetime of stewing in bitterness can lead, and it's not where I would like to go.

I try my best to apply any lessons I learned from past bad experiences and using them so that I don't make the same mistakes again, although this is much easier said then done.

 

[E.Michelle]

I think my awkwardness and shyness, trying too hard to not do things that may be perceived as weird or "lame," has given me the idea that I'm missing out only because of the people I see around me having these active party lives. However, I think that's just a perception of what I think I'm missing out on, and I shouldn't compare myself to them. It is hard though! I think I'm missing out all the time...but I can't be someone I'm not. I can't host a party if I'm not comfortable doing it. Find something you like and forget about what others are doing.

 

[Lorraine Manca]

i'm bitter too. if you have to be bitter, it mine as well be bittersweet

ewl, guess i should add: i think its only sane to be bitter about missing out on what so many people have, like having families, kids. i dont care if its an unpleasant characteristic, thats just reality. at the same time though you can have the freedom of having nothing to lose and time to think. everything's bittersweet

 

[Silvox Black]

I have not yet overcome this obstacle. I still have a deep sown hatred and burning rage at my lot in life. I'm afraid I have little to give in terms of comfort except for the words that I know your pain. I know of it far too well.

 

[da_illest101]

Like pretty much everyone said it's a vicious cycle

1) you are either happy, correct or things don't bother you so much

2) You become extremely happy because of someone/ you are still happy

3) You realize that your not gonna do anything to get with that person/ that person tries to get with you but you ignore or avoid/

4) you become sad/ angry/ frustrated / jealous

5) as times goes you become more and more depressed by it

6) the depression is beating the crap out of you

7) With time you start to get over it/ your frustration becomes a REGRET

rinse and repeat. Wow i just describe my whole life there ::

 

[Nocer]

im bitter 24/7

without bitterness i dont know who i am

 

[persona]

Deleted...

 

[redski]

Thanks guys I really appreciate the replies.

The thing is or at least this is how it feels, I have been bitter and unhappy
for so long I am afraid it has become a part of my personality.

For instance people I know might be positive that everything will work out
and I am more cynical, always expecting the worst to happen.

My methodology is think for bad things to happen and when they do you
will be ready for them.

That is just an example, I am sure other people do not have this thinking
pattern. I do try to be more positive but I can act happy think happy
but I am not happy at the core.

So bitterness and unhappiness prevails.
I am trying to change this, I fear it might take some time though.

Thanks again for all of your posts guys.

 

[Fighter86]

Definitely bitter here, especially so during the past few weeks, I feel the world owns me so much, and I feel indeed they do, because if certain things were not being said and done to me, I think I would have been a completely different person, I would probably be in university or graduated and have a good job. Instead, I now only have high school qualifications, and currently am fighting my employer over small petty salary pay outs now since I recently tendered my resignation. Anyway, back to the point, I'm so bitter about a variety from things, from the lack of parental support- if they had helped me back then, things could be very different, the lack of friends, for a couple years now, the only one friend I have is an internet pal, and you know, we don't even have that much to talk about really, other than that, no other real life friends to hang out with, I just freaking don't understand why I have it so tough, granted, there definitely are people out there who are worse off, but really, everyone I know is in a better state than I am, I just pretend to have a life basically when I'm talking to other people, and talk like I had a great weekend and did many interesting things :: I spend all my time sleeping, mostly because I'm so tired from work, and partly because it helps me forget things, when you are sleeping, your mind doesn't have to work overtime to think...