Being the "serious" one

[lilmutegirl]

I know a lot of people on here say they don't have friends, but if you consider yourself to be part of a group, do you often feel like the "odd man out"? I do. I went to a football game yesterday with 9 other people. I'm pretty close to one of the girls and my bf, and knew the other girls and their husbands, so I was pretty comfortable. My bf and I really don't drink, and I had one beer (which took me almost the entire game to finish) and the only other one not drinking was the pregnant DD.
Though it didn't really happen this time (only one of the guys made a slightly vague comment), I've noticed that I tend to be seen as the uptight, serious one of the group--for two reasons: 1) not drinking, and 2) being quiet and not crazy obnoxious (which I tend to do when I drink, but then I vomit profusely the next day, hence, the not drinking often or much). It used to make me feel like a buzzkill, but I've kind of accepted it. I don't usually have a lot of fun when there's much alcohol involved, but at least I don't have to recover like everyone else.
Now that I have my bf to hang out with, I don't feel so pressured to do stuff like this too...and I feel like we're all getting too old for it anyway (in our 30s).
Anybody else feel like this?

 

[laure15]

I don't drink too, because drinking can make you do crazy things and not to mention the hangover. But I don't feel pressured to drink because I don't hang out with people who do. My friends either don't drink or drink occasionally. But I remember being tricked into drinking alcohol one time by a guy, but the alcohol wasn't strong.

 

[Arthur_Dent]

Well I've had that problem even in a local SA support group, after the meetings most of them want to go out and have drinks. They all got talkative an extroverted, but I can be drunk as a fish and I'll remain as introverted and quiet as always.

 

[recluse]

Alchohol can make me more morose and introverted. When i am drunk i get lost in my own thoughts and i analyze everything even more than sober, like someone will say something and i think why they said it, kind of like paranoia.

 

[xDreamseller]

I'm pretty lucky with alcohol. I become extroverted and completely lose any shyness I had. Shame I can't be drunk ALL the time

Don't feel like you're the "serious one" just because you're not getting drunk. Everyone feels awkward and a little left out if everyone else is drinking, it's not just because you're shy/have SA. Maybe try going out as a group to something that doesn't involve alcohol? Like, uhm...most things to do with nature (walking, hiking, cycling etc) or maybe try a pottery class as a group. (Sounds odd, but it's actually really fun with other people, especially once you're done or have given up hope on your project...plenty of water and clay to throw about)

Just don't worry about it, it's normal to feel like that and it isn't anything bad.

 

[Hellhound]

It happened to me in art school. The group of derps my age (and older) were loud, obnoxious, drunkies and into sex a lot. I was the odd one because I didn't want to have anything to do with it. But I never cared because they weren't my friends. It did annoy me a bit though, because they wouldn't just leave me alone about it, telling me I had to live a bit more, and other rude sh!t.

I don't understand why they would care so much if they didn't even know me. They probably don't give two f*cks about me, if I'm dead or alive, why would they care about me being into their stuff then? Ridiculous.

 

[lilmutegirl]

I'm pretty lucky with alcohol. I become extroverted and completely lose any shyness I had. Shame I can't be drunk ALL the time

Don't feel like you're the "serious one" just because you're not getting drunk. Everyone feels awkward and a little left out if everyone else is drinking, it's not just because you're shy/have SA. Maybe try going out as a group to something that doesn't involve alcohol? Like, uhm...most things to do with nature (walking, hiking, cycling etc) or maybe try a pottery class as a group. (Sounds odd, but it's actually really fun with other people, especially once you're done or have given up hope on your project...plenty of water and clay to throw about)

Just don't worry about it, it's normal to feel like that and it isn't anything bad.

Well, I feel like I have a hard time letting loose no matter what the activity, even if alcohol isn't involved. I've found that one-on-one, I'm good with my friends and relax and have a wonderful time, but often if there are 3 or more of us, I clam up...I may be a little involved but not as much as I would be if it were just me and one other person.