Being social turns out to be no big deal most of the time

[gustavofring]

I shut myself off from contacts with people a lot. I don't know why I do it, and why it takes me so long to get over myself and take any action or initiative to expose myself to people. Even with replying to mails I wait and I've been avoiding being together in the shared spaces with roommates lately. It's eating me up.

Almost always turns out that when I do muster the courage to be social, it's no big deal at all, and in fact a pleasant experience most of the time. And if not, then no loss. You only live once, might as well make the best of the time you have.

It's sad that this wisdom isn't with me at all times. The result of being a shut-in.

 

[da_illest101]

Same here, More often than not I see people actually happy that I talk to them. But I find that in general I simply don't feel like talking and I won't don't feel like it I just make things awkward we others

 

[Kat]

Yeah, it’s worth taking a chance sometimes. I don’t hate people or wish ill on them but I will always consider myself a fairly introverted individual but I have had some enjoyable conversations with people but I usually like it if we are doing something together so the focus isn’t solely focused on ourselves.

 

[mikebird]

This brings the standard way of life, and its options:

I'm not unsocial or antisocial
But
When we don't have things in common we have no hope

When we do have common ground at the same time, at the same place, we can be lucky, but when any factor is missing, eg. Someone else is not social

When there is no COMPROMISE, and perfection is required...

I feel lost

 

[L Hilla]

Yeah, common ground helps out aLOT. Is that something you've noticed, gustavofring? The people you've enjoyed conversation with, feeling as though they "understand" your nature, or "indifferent"or whatever?

 

[Shenmue]

I've come to a similar realization myself. I find that when i'm in a social situation where I don't have to impress anyone I seem to have zero anxiety. But when it came to enrolling at college It felt like I was going into cardiac arrest. I can only surmise that I view college in a negative way because of my time at HS.

 

[coyote]

people mostly just want to be acknowledged

some eye contact, a smile, a nod, a gesture, a brief word or two of pleasantries

nothing too complicated, just simple human interaction

it helps to keep the wolves at bay

 

[SilentBird]

For me, the anticipation of interaction is usually way more difficult than the interaction itself.

I find being with certain people is rewarding and enjoyable, but I need time to myself to process the experience. My thoughts and emotions need to decompress.