Been hanging out with a girl who likes me...but.

[DevC]

So I started going to wings with a couple friends regularly, a girl that one of my friends works with started coming, after a couple weeks, I didnt think of her this way so I acted how I normally do but one of the guys says she likes me, not long after she started contacting me, so I decided to get to know her better.

We have been on a few unofficial dates and I like her, we have stuff in common, she seems to still like me and shes good at stuff i suck at like making decisions on what we should do, initiating texts and talking enough for the both of us.

Thats the background, problem is I get overwhelmingly anxious before we hangout, I take forever to answer her texts cause I have no idea what to say and we are at the point I should probly make a bit of a move past hugging, but I cant. We have a good time while hanging out tho, I've been nothing but myself and shes hasnt run yet. Not sure how to stop worrying so much.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

Youll get more comfortable with time. Its okay youre uncomfortable now but when you progress in the relationship you will laugh at this later. Watch some romantic films?

 

[powerfulthoughts]

Take risks or the opportunity will pass and you will beat yourself up over it. You have to let the anxiousness go through you, and the awkwardness go through you, and do what you think is the right thing. Don't second guess yourself; if in your mind it seems like a good idea to say or do, the just say or do it. Do not over analyze or you will talk yourself out of things.

 

[SM1010]

Yup you have to think about making a move soon. If you just keep hanging out without ever making a move she's going to think you just want to be friends and put you in the friend zone.

And that will suck a lot more than those few anxious moments where you move in to kiss her.

 

[Kinetik]

Try to plan a night where you take some initiative and have a fixed idea of what you two are going to do ahead of time. Just think up something while you're chilling at home then let her know what's going on. In that plan, you can work out a nice moment to lean in and go for that kiss. I've been in your situation several times, and I do agree with the posters above - it needs to happen fairly soon. Assertiveness is almost always rewarded.

 

[OceanMist]

Just to let you know, if you like this girl, you have really lucked out because there are many women who will not initiate texts, and can't stand it when a guy can't make a decision on where to eat. Most women prefer men to take the assertive decision making role, and luckily enough, this woman seems to not care as much about that stuff....except of course with kissing.

After the first date you should be considering kissing her on the 2nd or 3rd, and if you don't kiss her on the 2nd then you should always make a move on the 3rd. It's better to make that move and be declined (which btw you usually won't get declined) than to be passive. This girl is the same as most women with kissing, she's waiting for you to make the move.

You say you are worrying a lot? Well, once you make that move to kiss her you'll have a lot less to worry about. It's better if you even totally screw up the kiss than to not try at all.

Many women will tell you it's the thought that counts. Kissing is definitely a case of actions speak louder than words.

 

[Gaucho]

but maybe OP has never kissed a woman/girl and is scared about failing. I don't blame him. good luck buddy.

 

[OceanMist]

but maybe OP has never kissed a woman/girl and is scared about failing. I don't blame him. good luck buddy.

Nobody is saying it's not okay to be scared. We are just giving him advice. I've wussed out on a 3rd date b4 and didn't even follow my own advice and got rejected and didn't get another date again, so I don't want the op to fail like I did.

 

[DevC]

Thanks for the insight everyone, I wasn't quite able to move in for a kiss by the third or fourth date, but we did hang out last night with some people and I did make a point of being close to her and playing footsie and making long eye contact cause the night wasn't too appropriate for a kiss, but tonight I'm going to give it all I got to make a kiss happen cause after last night I know she's still interested.

 

[Gaucho]

sounds good

 

[Silatuyok]

I would suggest inviting her over for a movie, that's always a good way to get some alone time and sit close, maybe even put your arm around her. And if it gets awkward, you can always act like you're really interested in the movie. ::

 

[DevC]

I would suggest inviting her over for a movie, that's always a good way to get some alone time and sit close, maybe even put your arm around her. And if it gets awkward, you can always act like you're really interested in the movie. ::

Did a movie night at my place about a week ago, I spent the whole time fighting with myself on how to do it, and she wasnt showing any signs what so ever hinting anything, so I wasnt able to do it, but since then we have broken the touch barrier a bit more, we would bump each others legs during a movie with friends at a theatre, after a couple she held her leg against mine for the rest of the movie.

Also since my last post I asked her out on an official date, she seemed giddy about it and said she had a great time in the text she sent after I dropped her off. We've each been busy with things like work for a couple days, but tonight we are hanging out for my b-day, she has some kind of plan, but I'm afraid to ask what it is, so I'm just waiting and having a drink to calm my anxiety and hopefully not be sloshed when she get here lol.

 

[Silatuyok]

Well, it sounds like things are going really well!!! And my bf and I dated for three weeks before he made ANY indication that he was interested in being romantically involved, so don't feel bad about moving slow. Even then he laughed about how awkward he was about it.
She is definitely interested in you, so keep up the good work. Good luck tonight!

 

[DevC]

Well, things are going good, she is well aware of my anxiety and such, and is completely accepting of it. I'm definatly comfortable with her now, since she knows me and is still into me, definatly something I havent experienced before.

Only problem I'm having now is when things get intimate and she's turned on I seem to get performance anxiety, partially because we got to this point right when I'm having a stressful few weeks at work, and partially the inexperience thing. I'm sure she will understand::

 

[Thelema]

Well, things are going good, she is well aware of my anxiety and such, and is completely accepting of it. I'm definatly comfortable with her now, since she knows me and is still into me, definatly something I havent experienced before.

Only problem I'm having now is when things get intimate and she's turned on I seem to get performance anxiety, partially because we got to this point right when I'm having a stressful few weeks at work, and partially the inexperience thing. I'm sure she will understand::

Letting her know you're a nervous person is a good thing.

It helps if you don't go out trying to get some sort of specific outcome. If you think the whole time you have to kiss her by the end, you'll be nervous about it the whole time and end up crashing and burning.

Just have the idea that you're seeing her to have a good time and what happens happens if it feels right.

...and you don't need to kiss her by the second time you see her. That stuff is crap. Just do what feels right as the time comes.