becoming independent

doesit

Well-known member
#1
Ok heres the story,im 25years old and still living at home with my parents,but as time passes,im becoming more and more angry,and abusive towards them everyday,the thing is they interrupt with my everyday life,i have little to none privacy,if i was going somewhere they always ask what im up to,if i have an idea or something planned they'd criticize me or always come up with something like its waste of money,time or it wont work.i have a job,also i add up to the household bills and food,also i got savings,the only problem im on a low salary and if i was to move out i wouldn't last long on my own,due to the money,as cost of living is high enough these days,and yet im still trying to save and hopefully move out away from home.I suffer with moderate anxiety,but as time progresses i start to realize that its due to the way i was raised and treated by my parents,that lack of confidence,always having to get approved,and fear of failing over the years made me the way i am today.And yet im already mature enough but most time they would speak to me ,or tell things to do as i was still 15 year old,and that straight away puts me into rage mode.At times when im away from home,just in couple days i become more confident and relaxed and can cope with my everyday life,but as im back home all the depression and cynicism start to hover over my head again,and my life comes to a halt.Now i do love my parents and care for them and enjoy small things that i don't need to bother while at home,like doing laundry ::p: cleaning house every day etc,but this cannot continue,as i feel im way below in my life at this point to be living like this,as i feel another year or two and i gonna end up like a looser under parents roof with dead end life.Id appreciate anyone's advice who had been or went through similar situation in life.
 

Moa

Well-known member
#3
Sounds like you need to find a way to get out of your parents house as soon as you can. Just be aware that they may still treat you the same way even after you move. I lived apart from my parents for about 10 years before they started acknowledging that I'm an adult who can make her own decisions...

Is there anyone else you can move in with? Cousins, friends, other family members? Can you get a second job so you can live on your own? Or maybe consider finding a roommate on Craigslist? I know a few people who have done that, and none of them ended up having crazy roommates.
 
D

deleted #89

Guest
#4
I am in the EXACT situation as you. What you have to see is that at this moment all the bickering between you and your parents is the result of you struggling between two world. A fight between the child and adult self......

Your parents always want the best for you EVEN if doesn't make sense to you. Ultimately this "battle" between you and your parents is about you liberating yourself from old behavioral patterns that your parents still have. Your parents care very much for you and you have to show them that your gonna be OK.

My parents never had the "emotional tools" to raise me and that's OK because even tho they contributed allot to my anxiety and fears I now know that now im a adult with full awareness of what I have to do to get better.

Have more compassion for your parents and try to see were they are coming from....Ask them why they feel the way the do. You will see that most of the time it comes from them being scare and protective of you. Seriously dude, have a heart to heart with them. And don't gives a fak if your 25 and living with ur parents. This is the perfect scenario for you to save money....
 
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MikeyC

Well-known member
#5
I am also 25 and living with my parents. I want to move out eventually but my finances simply can't allow it. I was asked to move in with a friend recently but that would've created more headaches than I have now.

It's not a bad thing in an awful economy to still be living with your parents, but I can understand the frustration and fury you feel. I get the same treatment from my parents (although maybe not to the extent you have).

Hang in there, mate. You'll find a more rewarding job and you'll be out of that place before you know it.
 

Fighter86

Well-known member
#6
Oh god, i totally understand your pain. I've been looking to move out for some while now, but face a few challenges. Of course, top up is finances. I hope i get a raise after i am confirmed by my current company. And then, there's the issue of lonliness. As it is, i feel very lonely, moving out will only intensify the problem, or maybe, things might be better, considering i hate my parents for a variety of reasons. God help me, i feel like i am living in a little cage like a bird.
 

doesit

Well-known member
#7
thanks for everyone's opinions,yes i do care for them,and sorta understand them sometimes,but what worries me is lack of their encouragement,instead every decision is sorta threatened with the thought that you gonna fail or it gonna cost you emotionally or financially,then i start to question myself how im supposed to be confident if the closest people to you dont see it in you.instead they want you to make perfect decisions and do what they think is right for me :confused:
Anyway i feel that day from the home gonna come,let it be easy or hard way :)
 

emre43

Well-known member
#8
I'm 21 and in a similar position to you. The only thing preventing me from moving out is that I can't get a job to save my life.
 
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