Bars and nightclubs

[aj]

Oh well. Nobody to help me with going out so maybe I should try a different way - go out on my own and not even bother to try to ask people what the best places are. No pressure, no going in at the deep end, no "you MUST get drunk, do what we do, stay out for hours and pay for a taxi home."

I thought that maybe I could start off just trying to have a quick drink in a bar, then try to stay there a bit longer and start to talk to people, then possibly even move onto nightclubs. I make it sound so simple ::

So for a start, do bars tend to open in the daytime at all, and when are they quietest? Do you need to dress up much if it's not exceptionally classy? I suppose you don't look daft if you pop in for a quick drink and then go? What about non-alcoholic drinks - I asked here before and apparently things like tonic water and lime would be good? I would have coke but I'd feel such a dollop going to a bar and ordering that, do they even sell it (shows how much I know)? If they're not busy with something else will the staff usually be happy to suggest something? Enough questions? Thanks for anything

 

[coyote]

I've never been to the UK

bars around here usually open in time for lunch

most serve food of some kind, plus coffee, soft drinks, etc.

they also usually have sporting events on the television

plus, there's pool tables (billiards), darts, video games, etc.

It's not just a place to sit and drink - more like an adult hang-out

 

[aj]

I ask too many questions.

Thanks Coyote, but whatever they have I'm hardly going to be doing that kind of stuff the first time I go

Is the idea of working up from just buying a quick drink a good idea or a silly one? I thought it might start a circle of building confidence.

 

[coyote]

sounds like a great idea!

go for it.

 

[eggpod]

I ask too many questions.

Is the idea of working up from just buying a quick drink a good idea or a silly one? I thought it might start a circle of building confidence.

I think that's down to the individual. I would personally feel too self-conscious going into a bar alone and could never do it. I could probably handle something like a coffee shop environment better.

But if you think you can do it, go for it! Doing something is better than doing nothing at all.

 

[aj]

Don't know if I will be able to do it - staying at home all the time makes you forget how hard it is. I'm sure if I try it'll hit me like a truck. Hopefully not though.

For some reason I imagine that if they're not doing something else the bar staff might chat to you a tiny bit. That would be good.

 

[coyote]

bartenders are typically chatty by nature - but they'll leave you alone if you want them to

 

[Sial Axetder]

bartenders are typically chatty by nature - but they'll leave you alone if you want them to

One I went to for a birthday event, had three behind the bar.

 

[aj]

I wish they didn't have frosted glass in their outer doors, so you can't see what's inside until you open it. One day I will get a surge of courage and do it. I hope.

 

[coyote]

think of the frosted glass doors as protection for yourself once you get inside - so people aren't looking in to see what YOU are doing

(honestly - that's why they're there)

 

[aj]

Hehe, ok, but it doesn't help when you're trying not to imagine there's a room full of people on the other side!

 

[coyote]

true

imagine they're waiting for you to show up

so they can holler, "NORM!"

 

[aj]

Well that wasn't going to happen, was it.

I think I've finally just accepted that I'll have to do it on my own, nobody will go anywhere with me. Even tried a couple more people I thought of from college - got nothing back. And these were the nice people...

If you're very quiet/shy/scared and trying to go to a bar or club when you've only ever been to pubs, very occasionally, how can you make it easier? Or... just... what do you do when you go in? I'm trying to work out exactly what I'm asking but does anyone have any thoughts from those of you who know what you're doing?

Edit: The forum just pointed me to this thread. Maybe I just have to do it. I'm too scared ::

 

[Sial Axetder]

Well that wasn't going to happen, was it.

I think I've finally just accepted that I'll have to do it on my own, nobody will go anywhere with me. Even tried a couple more people I thought of from college - got nothing back. And these were the nice people...

If you're very quiet/shy/scared and trying to go to a bar or club when you've only ever been to pubs, very occasionally, how can you make it easier? Or... just... what do you do when you go in? I'm trying to work out exactly what I'm asking but does anyone have any thoughts from those of you who know what you're doing?

Edit: The forum just pointed me to this thread. Maybe I just have to do it. I'm too scared ::

You will be scared. I was. My 2nd trip to a bar was on crutches on new years eve night. Just have to walk in and head for the bar. Get a look at what's offered. Get what you like. Shout your Order, get it, pay, drink.

Sorry, was distracted a little. So I may not have understood everything.

 

[Damaged]

Well i always find it quite easy going in to clubs/bars because the loud music distracts me and i focus on that more than everyone around me.

Most people when out clubbing are friendly so its easy to start a conversation with them as they are all there for a good time. Thats what i find anyways.

I wouldn't worry about what to do just go in and order a drink and see where that takes you

 

[aj]

Well i always find it quite easy going in to clubs/bars because the loud music distracts me and i focus on that more than everyone around me.

Most people when out clubbing are friendly so its easy to start a conversation with them as they are all there for a good time. Thats what i find anyways.

I wouldn't worry about what to do just go in and order a drink and see where that takes you

One day, I will. ::