Bad Day...who do I tell...

[nicole1]

I feel so alone with this stupid disorder. It's gotten worse.
Today in class we had to type up some stuff. But the anxiety is so bad that I can not type in front of anyone. There's a long list of things I can't do in front of people without the twitch or the shaking. So I didn't do the assignment and just left instead.
After that, I had another class that's really interactive. I have to talk in order to get a good grade and to actually learn. I talked to my professor so that I could ease the situation a bit. I have to do this from time to time so that I won't have to drop or fail the class... I'm lucky that she thought of fair solutions.
But after all of this, my day was still horrible. It made me realize that I have no options. I can barely function on a job. I have no idea what I'm going to do once I graduate or if I want to graduate... I'm tempted to drop out of school because the anxiety is getting worse.
No one gets it. I barely get it and it's too embarrassing to talk about.

 

[FriendlessGirl]

I know what you're going through. Its the same with me. I'm sick of having this **** disorder too. I can bearly function too, i just hate going to school because of this. I can't count the times when I got a bad grade only because I was too embarassed to speak in front of the class. If you ever think you're too depressed or stressed out feel free to talk to me.

 

[mattbarneswillkillu]

Yep. I'm in similar situation also, I like to use this site to vent so feel free to let us have it! Hang in there you'll be alright.

 

[Section_31]

Im sorry to hear what your going through nicole.

Just a thought, i dont know how you feel about this, but i just want to put this out there.

My wife has similiar problems, pretty much as bad as you do. In one case the week leading up to our wedding was pure and sheer hell for her. She couldnt keep anything down, and was a shivering, trembling bundle of nerves on my couch. she lost 9 pounds in a week. Shes also failed a few classes due to her anxiety.

We saw our doctor about it, and he gave her some medication. Not the type you take continually, and you only take them when you absolutely need them. The name of it escapes me, but we referred to it as her "nuclear pill". She said that it made her actually feel happy in a situation and she was able to function, at least to the point where she could get through a difficult day.

Again, i dont know what your thoughts are on this, but ive seen it work in our case. Just an idea.

I hope everything goes well for you, and i'll keep you in my thoughts. Let us know what happens.

 

[nicole1]

Thank you both.

@ Gunman: I've had terrible experiences with doctors. Now I'm starting to think that it's my fault b/c I can't really open up about this. I guess I should try a medication. Did you see a psychiatrist or just a regular physician? I wanted to ask if anyone struggled with school due to this. Some people on here seem ok enough to deal with school. I just want to know what can I do to finally finish school and have a some what normal life.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Your school should have a therapist that you can sign up to see on a daily basis if you need to just sit there - or talk with her/him.

I suggest you just keep making an effort to try though.
You really don't want to end up dropping out because it's overwhelming.
Best to seek out some help now before you're unable to.

You can do it!

 

[nicole1]

Thanks Weirdy. We have great therapists but I'm scared that I messed up and may not be able to have any more sessions. I have great insurance so...I can talk to someone again.
And I'm considering medication.

 

[Section_31]

Hi Nicole,

to answer your question, in our case we just went and saw a straight out doctor, no psychiatrist. But mind you every doctor is different, ours is a much older man and has alot of experience. I sometimes joking call him "old doctor death" because hes so old but hes a reallly nice man and knows his stuff.

My wife is struggling with school, well, University. She finished her first degree in phsycology, and then realized that isnt at all what she wanted to do due to her S/A. Shes now completing a second degree in primatology, which she isnt sure what shes going to do with either. Gradewise, she doesnt struggle, what she DOES struggle with is parents giving her a hard time about what shes taking. They think she should have taken somthing more practical, ect ect, i on the other hand am always a free spirit and told her to take what makes her happy and what shes good at and we'll worry about going to where we have to go to find her work later.

So, not quite the same type of struggle as what your going through, but a struggle in itself.

Keep us posted, if you ever need to talk, shoot me an IM .

 

[Deus_Ex_Lemur]

Try using school health care resources? Many ppl here have said how hard it is to open up to doctor's/psychs. There were times for me when school was hard or I put a really interactive class off... it's not your fault it's hard to open up to doc's can feel intimidated and depends on them too - but you definitely should try it's important to have ppl to talk to/with not ONLY professionals. =)

Don't drop out you're so close - everything passes - you'll get through this I've spoken with you before about your job you've persevered through more than you may think now; BELIEVE! You are close - things getting worse tho you need to find someone for more help - you AREN'T alone! These are all challenges and hard at first - but will be for the better for ya! =D The only way we can grow and change is to challenge and face our fears. You can do it, Nicole!

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

That sux. Keep going to class though. I know what you mean. For a class.... we have to do a presentation, it's not for a month but it's all i think about right now. Argh! So Youre not alone, hope it gets better. It was brave of you to talk to the teacher btw

 

[nicole1]

That sux. Keep going to class though. I know what you mean. For a class.... we have to do a presentation, it's not for a month but it's all i think about right now. Argh! So Youre not alone, hope it gets better. It was brave of you to talk to the teacher btw

I put the presentationS to the back of my mind... One...I have to build a brain and present it to the class. :: out of playdough... It kinda scares me and it's a major grade.

Deus, thanks. I remember talking to you about it. And in a way, I do feel that I've come a long way and accomplished things. I guess I'll check out the psych office again at school. Last time I just stopped going. (Bad idea lead by my frustrations.)

Most of all, thank all of you for the encouragement.

 

[Weakminded]

I really think you should just stick it out. I know that sounds hard but I regret dropping out because of my problem. I was so close to graduating and I ruined it. If I would of walked that stage I bet I would feel so much more confident and it would have been my greatest accomplishment. I know you can do it!

 

[nicole1]

I don't plan on attending the graduation. I'll get my paper in the mail just like I did with my Associate degree.