awkward silences
- Thread starter silent k
- Start date
vj288
not actually Fiona Apple
Yeah, I think this is more of a human thing than a SA thing actually. Silence is seen as not having anything to say, which is okay, but the fear is that we don't have anything to say because we are boring or uncomfortable. And if being portrayed as uncomfortable makes us uncomfortable, makes us more uncomfortable and then we think we look even more uncomfortable (that's the nature of a panic attacks, if I understood correctly in class). A good way to fix this would be to change your thinking, and make sure you know that silences are okay, even though they may make the other person uncomfortable.
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Richey
Well-known member
I don't mind silences and i don't find them awkward either, i have a few friends and even at work I can be talking to someone and there are lots of pauses and silences which i think is normal and it feels more natural, i actually find people who feel the need to fill in every gap with banter to be more awkward because often they are obviously trying to fill in the silences in a needy way.
so no i don't think silences are awkward at all. i think it's naive to think this.
I was sitting in a cafe the other day and this girl was talking non-stop, clearly to be heard and it was mostly annoying chit-chat and i could tell it was making the people around her uncomfortable.
I really like it when people can be quiet and to talk when it feels right and natural, so a bit of both is nice.
so no i don't think silences are awkward at all. i think it's naive to think this.
I was sitting in a cafe the other day and this girl was talking non-stop, clearly to be heard and it was mostly annoying chit-chat and i could tell it was making the people around her uncomfortable.
I really like it when people can be quiet and to talk when it feels right and natural, so a bit of both is nice.
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twiggle
Well-known member
Right on. You know you're comfortable with somebody if you can both just be silent, like on those long car journeys when you just have some music on and there's no silly chit-chat, just two (or more) people who can acknowledge that they don't have anything worth saying at that precise moment, but its ok because they don't need to. Just enjoy the moment together.
DeadCities
Well-known member
I can't remember who told me this, but the other person is expected to make conversation just as much as you are so you shouldn't feel any pressure or blame yourself for lags in your convo. It's still a little uncomfortable but you have to remember the other person probably feels this way too.
coyote
Well-known member
exactly - it's like a game of badminton
all you have to do is get the birdie over the net
then it's up to them to get it back to you
the silences are just the intervals between serves
it's ok if you flail around, swinging your racquet awkwardly
no one takes badminton seriously anyway
it's more challenging when you wear galoshes
have fun with it
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NathanielWingateSpaghetti
Banned
silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
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okcancel
Well-known member
The other day in a class at school, a used-to-be-good-friend and I were watching a movie. It was only us. So. Freakin'. Awkward. Bleh, I just wanted to relax, but I couldn't. It was bad.
Most of these silences happen when I try to speak to someone, so I tend to avoid speaking to anyone.
Most of these silences happen when I try to speak to someone, so I tend to avoid speaking to anyone.
DeadCities
Well-known member
Lol, thats a good way to put it.
LazyHermitCrab
Well-known member
if it's an awkward silence i start saying random things and the person ends up with a really confused look..
okcancel
Well-known member
lol. Yes, there is always that.