Avoiding social settings affecting family

[ukchick]

I have avoided most social situations because of this horrible HH which is probably like most people on this forum.Recently,however,it has come to light just how badly it has affected my kids and ex-husband. I can't stop thinking about it and feel so guilty.My daughter explained to me just how uncomfortable she feels having to mix in social events,friend things etc.She see's most families taking part in bbq's, days out,visiting family etc but feels unable to enjoy things like that because she's not had the experience. Now,also, my ex husband is in a relationship but mixing with other couples,for him,is becoming an issue.
I can't change the past and it sounds so selfish,but it's what I have been comfortable with all these years. It's how I've coped. Does anyone else have the same feelings?

 

[Sprawling]

Before age 20 I was this way. Then when I got into along term relationship I decided to become and live a social life. Yes, the HH was a major problem. Dripping hands, dripping body. It's a miracle I made it through it all. HH was always on my mind. I always looked forward to going home and hiding.

In regards to family, I kept the HH to myself. It was sheer torture bringing my daughter to her girl scout meeting and having to do the hand holding thing at the end. Those poor kids who had to hold my hands. Inside I felt tortured. On the outside I tried to blend in.

Your kids and ex will find their way. With different partners, situations we adapt... unless we do not.

 

[HHDisturbed]

Same here Sprawling. I think it all comes down to a personal decision that either you are going to let HH beat you or you are going to have a life. I chose the latter.

I am not saying that HH doesn't wear on me or get me down at times because it does. It has greatly affected my confidence and self esteem like most but I know I am stronger than my sweating disorder and have worked hard to overcome.

Where has this gotten me? Well, I have 4 beautiful children ages: 25, 24, 21 & 15. I have a smart, gorgeous and very understanding wife along with a great career in engineering. I have a few close, wonderful friends and for the most part enjoy life to its fullest.

So my point is that it all comes down to how we choose to react to life's adversities. In spite of HH we can each have a long and fulfilling life if that is the path we choose to take. Our time here is short so why deny yourself all the wonderful things life has to offer? We deserve it as much as anyone!

 

[aries86]

I can definitely relate to what you are saying. I think these feelings come from a fear of what is normal with those of us who have a more severe case of HH. I've yet to meet anyone who thinks sweating is good. It is alarming to most people because they don't understand why you're sweating so much. Anytime I've ever held hands with someone they asked me about my sweating or made some type of an uncomfortable gesture. It is painful, and something that I try to avoid. I definitely see where you are coming from. I still do some things, but there are a lot of things that I will avoid at all costs.

 

[ukchick]

Same here Sprawling. I think it all comes down to a personal decision that either you are going to let HH beat you or you are going to have a life. I chose the latter.

I am not saying that HH doesn't wear on me or get me down at times because it does. It has greatly affected my confidence and self esteem like most but I know I am stronger than my sweating disorder and have worked hard to overcome.

Where has this gotten me? Well, I have 4 beautiful children ages: 25, 24, 21 & 15. I have a smart, gorgeous and very understanding wife along with a great career in engineering. I have a few close, wonderful friends and for the most part enjoy life to its fullest.

So my point is that it all comes down to how we choose to react to life's adversities. In spite of HH we can each have a long and fulfilling life if that is the path we choose to take. Our time here is short so why deny yourself all the wonderful things life has to offer? We deserve it as much as anyone!

True,I feel that way now I'm in my 40's but haven't had the confidence before to just embrace HH or think positive and enjoy life.I am determined now I am divorced and trying to start a new life for myself but the guilt just wont go away of how restricted I have made the lives of my kids and ex husband.

 

[HHDisturbed]

True,I feel that way now I'm in my 40's but haven't had the confidence before to just embrace HH or think positive and enjoy life.I am determined now I am divorced and trying to start a new life for myself but the guilt just wont go away of how restricted I have made the lives of my kids and ex husband.

Hi UK. It is never too late to make a positive change. It is not selfish wanting to be happy. Everyone deserves happiness. But instead of embracing HH you should embrace who you are and who you want to be. Do things that make you feel good about you. When you find the happiness you desire you will be able to share it with the ones who matter the most like your kids. You cannot change what has passed but you do have the power to change your future. Believe in yourself and you can do it! erfect: