Avoidant behaviour

[recluse]

Is it normal that i intentionaly make people worry about me? For instance a girl who i haven't seen for years texted me a few days ago but i deliberately didn't answer back, and she kept texting me asking what was wrong, and why was i ignoring her. The more she showed that she was worried the more i enjoyed it, but today i finally gave in and answered her but with a one word answer. So am i wrong in doing this? I guess i like knowing that someone atleast has concern for me. I actually want to see people close to me suffer :?

 

[gobbledegook]

hmm I'm not sure if it's normal but I do that too! 8O

As much as it makes me feel good thinking like that, I have also made some people very angry :roll:

 

[recluse]

I feel like i want to intentionaly push people away yet i am lonely. I think it's the fact i feel so bad about myself i don't want anyone to see me.

 

[Day_Tripper]

Is it normal that i intentionaly make people worry about me? For instance a girl who i haven't seen for years texted me a few days ago but i deliberately didn't answer back, and she kept texting me asking what was wrong, and why was i ignoring her. The more she showed that she was worried the more i enjoyed it, but today i finally gave in and answered her but with a one word answer. So am i wrong in doing this? I guess i like knowing that someone atleast has concern for me. I actually want to see people close to me suffer :?

It was an instance where you were given a feeling power, that you were choosing to ignore her, and it gives you a feeling like you're turning the tables. That's just my interpretation.

 

[recluse]

Is it normal that i intentionaly make people worry about me? For instance a girl who i haven't seen for years texted me a few days ago but i deliberately didn't answer back, and she kept texting me asking what was wrong, and why was i ignoring her. The more she showed that she was worried the more i enjoyed it, but today i finally gave in and answered her but with a one word answer. So am i wrong in doing this? I guess i like knowing that someone atleast has concern for me. I actually want to see people close to me suffer :?

It was an instance where you were given a feeling power, that you were choosing to ignore her, and it gives you a feeling like you're turning the tables. That's just my interpretation.

I think that might me right. I think to myself ''ha ha see how you would like being in my shoes!''

 

[scorpion]

Thats just the heart and sowl of the APD behavior, thats what we do.

Its normal if you have APD.

Well if you get to know your problem better you get to understand the things you do better, and maybe you can get to fight them off.

 

[Carol]

I feel like i want to intentionaly push people away yet i am lonely. I think it's the fact i feel so bad about myself i don't want anyone to see me.

If this girl is somebody you care about and you want her to like you, then I suggest that you write back again and ask her how she's doing. You don't have to talk about yourself a lot, in fact it usually makes a better impression if you focus on the other person instead of yourself. But if you don't write anything else, she will probably assume that you don't like her and don't want anything to do with her, and eventually she'll give up trying.

 

[desperatehousewife]

You need love I think and because of this you make people worry if you are okey or not.You need tendercy, that is why.If you get close friends, your problem will be solved.

 

[Laraluna]

I woke up this morning thinking about all the things I have avoided due to social phobia: relationships, academic opportunity, jobs, social situations,etc.
It's scary! I don't try anything because I'm scared to fail, thinking that I won't be able to deal with failure. But in not trying I fail anyway, just on my terms. I can prepare myself for this kind of faliure, I just can't deal with the uncertainty.
To be honest the idea of succeeding also scares me a bit, I can't control it. At least with not trying I always know where I am. This is really not the kind of person I want to be!

 

[_Brittany_]

I think it's wrong, though I do it too!! I ignore my friends all the time, sometimes for weeks..

 

[shahnawaz STOP!!!]

u just want others to care about u more...

 

[crazypants]

I've always had a similar problem, which is that I never call other people - they tend to have to call me. When I was a kid, I would be hanging around the house all summer, and my mother would say, "Why don't you call some of your friends and go out?" And I would be happy as a clam if they called me, but I never felt comfortable being the one to call them. If they call me, then I can't feel rejected.

I still have that problem. I think it has something to do with me wanting them to prove they want to hang out with me. If I call them, I'm filled with awkwardness and with panic about what to say to them, and I have the feeling that I'm bothering them.

I guess I always figure - if they wanted to talk to me, they'd call me!

Stupid behavior!

 

[spider04]

I sometimes do that too, it gives me the feeling that they are really thinking of me and want to talk to me.

Also i'm almost never the one to text first and when they don't answer I don't keep sending texts. It feels like they must always be the one to text first, I feel that i am bothering people too or if I text first I don't know what to really start talking about

 

[Mokkat]

Personally I have the same problem some times. I detest that society now dictates that always being available/having a phone on you is the norm.
Unlike a traditional phone, you really have no good reason not to keep your mobile on you, and I feel weird and guilty when I don't pickup or write back because people might deduct that the only logical reason is I'm avoiding them.

Goddamn technology. Also, as much as I like the anonymity and/or buffer of communicating over the internet, I'm pretty sure that it's a two-edged sword and I would be a more socially practiced and more productive person today if I hadn't spent a lot of my life online

 

[Ashiene]

Is it normal that i intentionaly make people worry about me? For instance a girl who i haven't seen for years texted me a few days ago but i deliberately didn't answer back, and she kept texting me asking what was wrong, and why was i ignoring her. The more she showed that she was worried the more i enjoyed it, but today i finally gave in and answered her but with a one word answer. So am i wrong in doing this? I guess i like knowing that someone atleast has concern for me. I actually want to see people close to me suffer :?

I see you've been active on SAS but no longer on SPW...

 

[theslowesthand]

I believe it could [also] be passive-aggressive repressed anger seeping out. And it manifests as a form of "punishing" or "torturing" yourself (mainly) & others, to satisfy the anger you have at yourself (for whatever reasons). Also maybe just a "touch" of sadism, by trying to hurt those who are most vulnerable (your friends/family/etc); attacking of the innocent/good, as that's what's happened to you much in life, and it somehow almost seems like you need to be like this, like its the only way foward, the only way to resolve things, the "right" way for you to proceed...
I could be wrong, but that's how things have been for me anyway.