Attracting negative friends

[Argentum]

I wonder if this is a side effect of being in a bad place in life? Like sharks picking up on blood in the water.

It seems as though most of the people I attract have bad intentions or trouble seeing other people as people. Sometimes they're people who are often angry at me for minor things. Sometimes (if men) they're extremely pushy about physical boundaries. Sometimes there are threats if I don't behave the way they want. Sometimes they talk about their problems as much as possible but never listen to me. I thought I'd made a genuine friend recently, but they confessed that they see other people as akin to hollow dolls who interact with them on a superficial level.

What do I have to do to be worth someone who cares for me as a person and doesn't want to extract something from me? I try to be caring towards the people in my life and not take too much or come across as cold, though it's a struggle sometimes.

 

[MikeyC]

There's a chance you're unconsciously drawn towards these people because of a negative view you give yourself. Do you feel you're worthy of friends who are nice to you?

If you notice your friends are narcissistic or unfriendly to you, walk away. You do not need to put up with that.

 

[Argentum]

There's a chance you're unconsciously drawn towards these people because of a negative view you give yourself. Do you feel you're worthy of friends who are nice to you?

If you notice your friends are narcissistic or unfriendly to you, walk away. You do not need to put up with that.

I like myself except when I have to sit here wondering why other people get friends who love them and I get friends who see me as a source of something. I think I'm a hard worker and always willing to try new ideas, even if I wish I were more confident in social situations and could blend in. I really only start to see myself as broken when I have reason to wonder why other people attract so much love and even when I'm feeling better than ever I still meet these people.

I always walk away from people who are mean to me. That hasn't been a problem for me since I was young, but I've often had people just sit down and start talking to me about what's bothering them at work or in classes. People have approached me in public to ask me how to work things on their computer, too. I've tried very hard to stop seeming sensitive so that I won't draw anyone in who needs something, but people say I still come across that way.

The catch is that if I keep closing myself off, then that's supposed to attract these people, too, at least according to the Internet. I've been being open and generous, which is supposed to attract good people, and just got more of the wrong people.

 

[Lavinialuna]

Sorry you are a magnet for mean people
Maybe you can try a different place to hang out?
For instance: I grew up in the 80's early 90's and I dressed different. I suppose you could say a mix of goth/emo/punk. A lot of people thought our group of friends was literally scary, but despite our outward appearance I can honestly say that I met more sensitive, sincere, sweet people in that circle of friends than in any other group I have ever met. People aren't always what they seem. Can't judge a book by it's cover. Maybe widen your idea of who you want to hang out with, have an open mind and take a chance on someone not typical of your norm. Just a friendly suggestion.
Not sure how so many people seem to be raised by wolves these days (zero empathy.) I hope you can find people who bring you positive experiences soon.