Are you tired of being a virgin due to your social phobia
- Thread starter ChAiNz
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Anonymous
Well-known member
Well, you won't get aids. You won't be a slut. You won't disappoint your someday wife with all the sluts in your past. You'll find a better woman who isn't a slut. I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with waiting until your married. But if that is what you really want? Think about what you really want. Maybe this is a blessing in disguiss. I know it was for me.
Elkapath
Active member
I'm not a virgin I did have a boyfriend age 16 he went out with me for 5 monthes but he dumpd me in the end cuz I did not talk to him a lot but now he is with my sister :? and I've never had a boyfriend since but I might shag male friends when I'm drunk but they are people I have known for about 9 monthes see them on the weekends not like there strangers could not shag a stranger hehe :roll:
Anonymous
Well-known member
I'm a 26 year old good looking guy with social phobia, and, yeah, I'm still a virgin, but I'd like to get laid. I think it would help overcome my inhibitions. If we lived in a more traditional society, I would have married 7 years ago and would be able to get action in a legitimate way. Instead I have needs but no means of meeting them. Poor me.
Anonymous
Well-known member
Eran,
You don't have a problem getting "shags"? Tell me, what's your technique?
Sex as sacred? Like sex as a holy ritual in the old Roman temples? Sacred like the communion wafer laid on my tongue at mass? It is a basic human desire and instinct, it is not a religious sacrament. It's the hard-wired need that brings the species forward from one generation to another for millions of years - until we arrived at this generation...
You don't have a problem getting "shags"? Tell me, what's your technique?
Sex as sacred? Like sex as a holy ritual in the old Roman temples? Sacred like the communion wafer laid on my tongue at mass? It is a basic human desire and instinct, it is not a religious sacrament. It's the hard-wired need that brings the species forward from one generation to another for millions of years - until we arrived at this generation...
anxiousD
Member
I lost my virginity @ 14. Since then ive had multiple sexual partners and even a couple of long term relationships. My "secret" has been keeping an air of mistery around me. Ive observed that women like mysterious loner types, or are at least intrigued by them. Ive been described as the strong silent type, reserved in expressing my opinions and thoughts. The thing is no one knows about the fear and emotional turmoil lurking inside. It doesnt take very long for that persona to crumble. And when it does, and it does, people: coworkers/aquaintences/lovers start to catch glimpses of my vulnerability. Thats when I bail! New job, new coworkers, new lovers. Ive lived in my town my whole life and am running out of places to hide. Running out of people to play this twisted game of sherades with. Im tired of fighting the fear of fear! I hope that someday not every criticism will not cut me to the bone. I want to know what it feels like to be pleasantly surprised by a phone call from, well from anyone really. And not reside in a place of intense anxiety. Any of you reading this now thinking Im a slut are dead wrong. All the trysts that ive had have been healing. For us social phobics human contact is hard to come by. As long as the sex is mutually consentual, I dont see any problem. Each woman ive been with ive loved to the best of my,albeit, limited abilities. I cant say that these women have disentangled from me without emotional wounds. I never meant to cause any harm. Should I deny every attempt at connection with a lady so as not to cause her pain? Everybody, whatever their condition in life, takes that risk.
Anonymous
Well-known member
You say: "You won't be bored in hell I guess. You'll have plenty of burning to do."
Do you think that people go to hell because they give in to natural, God-given desires in inopportune contexts? I doubt it.
Unrepentant hatred, pride, and self-righteousness are more serious issues with God, I imagine. *sigh, looks away* The irony is that people like you -- with a huge ego investment in appearing "holy" -- are usually the prostitute-visitors and porn-wankers. Suit yourself. This is part of your complex that makes you sick.
Do you think that people go to hell because they give in to natural, God-given desires in inopportune contexts? I doubt it.
Unrepentant hatred, pride, and self-righteousness are more serious issues with God, I imagine. *sigh, looks away* The irony is that people like you -- with a huge ego investment in appearing "holy" -- are usually the prostitute-visitors and porn-wankers. Suit yourself. This is part of your complex that makes you sick.
Anonymous
Well-known member
Actually I never claimed to be some rightous person. I never said I hated you, I just said you were an idiot. BECAUSE:
Sleeping around so that you can satisfy your so called 'God given' need is not only stupid (AIDS etc......), it is using people. Using people is not exactly NICE.
No, I don't think people go to hell for making MISTAKES but I do believe that if people keep living for their "DESIRES" then they are not exacty going down the right road.
I guess if you are a dog then you will act on your "DESIRES" whenever you need to.
Think about it. Marriage is supose to be so we can fullfill those DESIRES and in a healthy way. Otherwise there is: Disease, abortion, unwanted children, sex addicts, porn addicts, child molesters etc......
So just keep doing what you want to do. In the end you'll see where it gets you. LONELY
Sleeping around so that you can satisfy your so called 'God given' need is not only stupid (AIDS etc......), it is using people. Using people is not exactly NICE.
No, I don't think people go to hell for making MISTAKES but I do believe that if people keep living for their "DESIRES" then they are not exacty going down the right road.
I guess if you are a dog then you will act on your "DESIRES" whenever you need to.
Think about it. Marriage is supose to be so we can fullfill those DESIRES and in a healthy way. Otherwise there is: Disease, abortion, unwanted children, sex addicts, porn addicts, child molesters etc......
So just keep doing what you want to do. In the end you'll see where it gets you. LONELY
Anonymous
Well-known member
Actually I never claimed to be some rightous person. I never said I hated you, I just said you were an idiot. BECAUSE:
Sleeping around so that you can satisfy your so called 'God given' need is not only stupid (AIDS etc......), it is using people. Using people is not exactly NICE.
No, I don't think people go to hell for making MISTAKES but I do believe that if people keep living for their "DESIRES" then they are not exacty going down the right road.
I guess if you are a dog then you will act on your "DESIRES" whenever you need to.
Think about it. Marriage is supose to be so we can fullfill those DESIRES and in a healthy way. Otherwise there is: Disease, abortion, unwanted children, sex addicts, porn addicts, child molesters etc......
So just keep doing what you want to do. In the end you'll see where it gets you. LONELY
Sleeping around so that you can satisfy your so called 'God given' need is not only stupid (AIDS etc......), it is using people. Using people is not exactly NICE.
No, I don't think people go to hell for making MISTAKES but I do believe that if people keep living for their "DESIRES" then they are not exacty going down the right road.
I guess if you are a dog then you will act on your "DESIRES" whenever you need to.
Think about it. Marriage is supose to be so we can fullfill those DESIRES and in a healthy way. Otherwise there is: Disease, abortion, unwanted children, sex addicts, porn addicts, child molesters etc......
So just keep doing what you want to do. In the end you'll see where it gets you. LONELY
Alternator
Active member
You guys need to lay off and respect each others opinion. We're here to help each other, not make others feel worse.
Smelling, just because the opinions of one Christian offend you, you shouldn't generalize and judge Christians. (Yes I know it wasn't your intention too offend Christians, just the "narrow-minded" ones). As far as comparing "sins", I dont think anybody here on earth would be able to accomplish the mission of ranking them. Plus, I'm sure their seriousness would vary tremendously between the different cultures in the globe.
Smelling, just because the opinions of one Christian offend you, you shouldn't generalize and judge Christians. (Yes I know it wasn't your intention too offend Christians, just the "narrow-minded" ones). As far as comparing "sins", I dont think anybody here on earth would be able to accomplish the mission of ranking them. Plus, I'm sure their seriousness would vary tremendously between the different cultures in the globe.
Anonymous
Well-known member
Who said anything about Christians? I don't mind many of them. In fact, I am one! It's just the ceaseless yapping of cold-hearted moralists I try to tune out.
Turning to the original topic, I think that the best strategy is to be open and up front with our sexuality and interest in women. Men in US culture have been told that they have to be neutered in public. I think porn use, child molestation, etc. is a consequence of the way natural human feelings have been pushed underground by a certain embarrassment of who we are and a puritanical public morality.
Last night I went out with a woman and she told me that she hadn't been asked out by a guy in three years! Totally outrageous. All her potential suitors have been busy jerking off to internet porn for the past three years instead of being publicly sexual beings. She suffers.
In my experience, acceptance of sexuality is not a cause of sexual problems in US society but the ANTIDOTE.
So, I'm getting frisky - I've also been going on tons of dates recently. I'm sick of eating from the trash can, and I'm ready to put up my money, sit at the table and eat a good meal.
"I'm so horny, but that's ok, my will is good." - Nirvana
Turning to the original topic, I think that the best strategy is to be open and up front with our sexuality and interest in women. Men in US culture have been told that they have to be neutered in public. I think porn use, child molestation, etc. is a consequence of the way natural human feelings have been pushed underground by a certain embarrassment of who we are and a puritanical public morality.
Last night I went out with a woman and she told me that she hadn't been asked out by a guy in three years! Totally outrageous. All her potential suitors have been busy jerking off to internet porn for the past three years instead of being publicly sexual beings. She suffers.
In my experience, acceptance of sexuality is not a cause of sexual problems in US society but the ANTIDOTE.
So, I'm getting frisky - I've also been going on tons of dates recently. I'm sick of eating from the trash can, and I'm ready to put up my money, sit at the table and eat a good meal.
"I'm so horny, but that's ok, my will is good." - Nirvana
Anonymous
Well-known member
Social Phobia,Sex & Dating
Social Phobia makes it harder to meet the right person so that you can start up a relationship with. In my view, the physical acts are easier to navigate than the acts leading up to the relationship - the small talk, the conversation,the dating, e.t.c...For me, it's just very hard to approach a woman that I am attracted to and to ask her out. I find it easy to talk to women that I am not attracted to, but I don't want to date women I am not attracted to..hehe....I have problem with being the center of attention, the focal point in a group, and I hate it! A couple weeks ago on the first day of a summer class, the instructor did what I hate the most - he went around the room and made everybody introduce themselves. I actually thought about getting up and walking out of the room, but I stayed and managed to reign in my anxiety long enough to get through my introduction. I really hate this problem. It has been holding me back and really affecting my life in a negative way for years. I feel so confident at times, but then thing will change, my anxiety will kick in, my heart will race and my hands will shake, and I am reduced to a sniveling wimp.
I would really like to date and just be sociable. I don't even go out with friends much anymore because they are mostly all married and starting families and I am the "loner" who doesn't feel comfortable around them anymore. I see lots' of girls I'd love to date, but I just don't have the self confidence to act. Another thing that I can't seem to grasp is the whole idea of "acting". Maybe you someone out there can help me with this. I just don't feel comfortable having to "act" in a certain way. I get nervous and anxious in situations, but I am supposed to "act" like I am not nervous and anxious. Isn't that the same thing as being a "phoney" or "fraud". Trying to present yourself in a way that you don't reall feel? Going out on a date you make small talk, you talk about things that you probably don't even care about just so you can create conversation. That all feels so phony to me....I'm uncomfortable enough as it is, but it makes me even more uncomfortable feeling like I have to act in certain ways.
Social Phobia makes it harder to meet the right person so that you can start up a relationship with. In my view, the physical acts are easier to navigate than the acts leading up to the relationship - the small talk, the conversation,the dating, e.t.c...For me, it's just very hard to approach a woman that I am attracted to and to ask her out. I find it easy to talk to women that I am not attracted to, but I don't want to date women I am not attracted to..hehe....I have problem with being the center of attention, the focal point in a group, and I hate it! A couple weeks ago on the first day of a summer class, the instructor did what I hate the most - he went around the room and made everybody introduce themselves. I actually thought about getting up and walking out of the room, but I stayed and managed to reign in my anxiety long enough to get through my introduction. I really hate this problem. It has been holding me back and really affecting my life in a negative way for years. I feel so confident at times, but then thing will change, my anxiety will kick in, my heart will race and my hands will shake, and I am reduced to a sniveling wimp.
I would really like to date and just be sociable. I don't even go out with friends much anymore because they are mostly all married and starting families and I am the "loner" who doesn't feel comfortable around them anymore. I see lots' of girls I'd love to date, but I just don't have the self confidence to act. Another thing that I can't seem to grasp is the whole idea of "acting". Maybe you someone out there can help me with this. I just don't feel comfortable having to "act" in a certain way. I get nervous and anxious in situations, but I am supposed to "act" like I am not nervous and anxious. Isn't that the same thing as being a "phoney" or "fraud". Trying to present yourself in a way that you don't reall feel? Going out on a date you make small talk, you talk about things that you probably don't even care about just so you can create conversation. That all feels so phony to me....I'm uncomfortable enough as it is, but it makes me even more uncomfortable feeling like I have to act in certain ways.