Are abusive relationships normal?

Are abusive relationships the most common type?

  • Yes

    Votes: 1 5.6%
  • No

    Votes: 17 94.4%

  • Total voters
    18

A friend

Well-known member
#1
My entire life, I've seen only abusive relationships and marriages unfolding in front of my eyes. Even now, in my early 20's, I still have an all-black view on the whole thing.

To be honest, I would like to have a romantic relationship, but there's quite a few things stopping me from having that. The first I can't say without causing fights (PM me if you want to know), the second is the thing that's also the topic of the poll.

All the males I've known, most of them have been physically and verbally abused to the point where one of them had to enter a psychiatric unit, and another committed suicide.

I also had a female friend who recently told me about her story of a bad relationship, where her boyfriend cheated on her and did something very inappropriate to her. She ended up being scarred as a result of that relationship.

So basically, this makes me very pessimistic about the whole thing, and I wonder, are these relationships normal?

Is being physically harmed on a daily basis a common thing? Is it normal to be beaten, cheated on, having things thrown at you, getting screamed at, and then getting sued for ridiculous reasons?

Does that typically happen all around the world? All I've seen and heard, from everywhere, is nothing but things that turn people into emotional wrecks.

Is it common for your apparent "lover" to despise you and do everything they could to make you suffer or want you to die?
 
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AGR

Well-known member
#2
Yes,me too,I think most people are really simple minded they can only give worth to something that they cant have or feel that they have no control.:idontknow:
Stability bores people.
 

A friend

Well-known member
#3
I'd like to get in a relationship, but I don't want to end up having my so-called "lover" sending me to the hospital. That's what I've seen in ALL relationships. Yeah, I've met some nice members of the female population, but that's the thing...

My biological mom seemed like such a nice person to my dad when they met, but a few months into their marriage, my mom treated him so badly that he had to call the police on one occasion to safeguard his life.

Even if all women are different, I'm scared that no matter who I end up with, she'll want to end my life, even if I treat her the best I can, even if I do everything for her. That's how it was with my mom and dad, she wanted to put an end to him even though he was remarkably kind to her.
 
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Silatuyok

Well-known member
#4
Absolutely not. Everyone is prone to getting worked up from time to time or having a heated argument, but abusing your partner or letting your partner abuse you in any way is NOT okay.
 

Nathália

Well-known member
#5
Normal in the sense that it's rare that people don't abuse their partners? Domestic violence of significant others is not rare worldwide, but I also don't think it's rare that people do not get into violent relationships. That's unfortunate you had to see people being sent to the hospital, you seem really afraid. You know that every one does not ever want to harm you right? I hope you never get into a relationship like that and find someone to respect you. It seems like an issue that comes from your mother being violent and not appearing to be that way? Have you tried therapy for this? Domestic violence is something that is frowned upon there are things to help people that have went though or been through abuse.
 

A friend

Well-known member
#6
Normal in the sense that it's rare that people don't abuse their partners? Domestic violence of significant others is not rare worldwide, but I also don't think it's rare that people do not get into violent relationships.
Which countries, specifically?

That's unfortunate you had to see people being sent to the hospital, you seem really afraid.
Afraid...? I'm scared s***less.

You know that every one does not ever want to harm you right?
I'm sorry, but I honestly can't believe that, given all that I've experienced in life. I've seen so many bad things happen that make me want to carry a stun weapon whenever I go into public.

I hope you never get into a relationship like that and find someone to respect you.
Thank you very much, I appreciate the kind comment in the post.

It seems like an issue that comes from your mother being violent
My mom was as violent as an ape with rabies.

and not appearing to be that way? Have you tried therapy for this?
Can't. Insurance won't cover it.

Domestic violence is something that is frowned upon there are things to help people that have went though or been through abuse.
Domestic violence was a typical thing I viewed in all the relationships in marriages I've seen. Very few were civilized, and it made me feel that anyone I'd get with would be a ruthless killer, and I thought of avoiding the dating game at one point for the purpose of safeguarding my life.
 

Hellhound

Super Moderator
#7
You've focused so much on the bad things that happened to others that you forgot to look at the good ones, and you focused on the negatives to an abnormally high level. In your mind, the world is a place full of chaos.

Why don't you browse on the web for a bit and read stories about happily married couples? Explore other places. I think you're stuck in the same circle of violence, to the point that it's all you think about.
 

Nathália

Well-known member
#8
I've been though domestic violence as well many accounts. My mothers husband was and still is a very scary man and my father and I just developed a realtionship not too long ago because he used to be on drugs. I've witnessed a lot of mess up crap in life. A Friend I think you have a right to feel every way that you do, you do not believe it, it's just what I feel. It took me a while to even walk to the corner of my street out of fear of a kidnapping, I still carry a blade with me for protection no matter how insane others may think that sounds. Every single person I do not think all are out for you, just what I think. Your experiences are in no way insignificant.
 

A friend

Well-known member
#9
I've been though domestic violence as well many accounts. My mothers husband was and still is a very scary man
Then why'd she get with him?

and my father and I just developed a realtionship not too long ago because he used to be on drugs. I've witnessed a lot of mess up crap in life.
Proof that I'm not the only one here.

A Friend I think you have a right to feel every way that you do, you do not believe it, it's just what I feel. It took me a while to even walk to the corner of my street out of fear of a kidnapping, I still carry a blade with me for protection no matter how insane others may think that sounds. Every single person I do not think all are out for you, just what I think. Your experiences are in no way insignificant.
The funny thing is that everyone saw nothing wrong with how my mom treated my father, even when she cut him on one occasion.
 
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Nathália

Well-known member
#10
Then why'd she get with him?



Proof that I'm not the only one here.



The funny thing is that everyone saw nothing wrong with how my mom treated my father, even when she cut him on one occasion. Everyone tells me that getting killed off by your spouse is worth the risk.

Well, if a romantic relationship is really so good that it's worth the risk of death, then we must live in one messed up world.
Okay. He didn't start off as abusive in matter a fact I got along with him better than anyone else because he was a very funny man and was reserved like me. As time went on things started to change. That's awful and your mother should apologize for doing something like that in front of her child. I don't get along with my mother and she still told me that she's sorry that I had to see what she went though. If you feel it's a risk of death, then okay that's how you feel.
 
#11
7 of 9 of my cousins seem to be happily married, 1 in a happy relationship so far. One of them had loads of relationships, but in the end got back to his ex gf who had a daughter meanwhile. They lived together for some time, but she seemed to use him for money etc., and in the end left him for another guy, saying he was boring. I can´t think of anyone in a physically abusive relationship right now, but certainly there are lot of them.
 
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