APD, schizoid or just idiot?

josher

New member
Hi

Please help diagnose me. I am 30y old male. My symptoms (plusses show the severity from 1-3):

1. Unable to have intimate relations with my wife who I love. +++ Was not a problem first months. Physical part is 100% ok.

2. Uncomfortable for me to receive hugs/kisses. Not able to give any +++

3. I am unable to show affection. Unable to express the words "I love you" to my wife. I cannot explain the reason if asked. +++

4. I avoid every discussion with my wife that is personal or related to the above. I just want to switch the topic and escape. ++

5. Self-imposed social isolation - Eg. I will go and wait alone elsewhere than make:confused: new acquaintances at a social event. +

6. Socializing usually feels like acting, me trying to play a charismatic person, but that is not me. +

7. I am mirroring the people I am communicating with. I adapt my words/topics/mannerisms to the people at hand. Eg. trying to blend in extremely well, I even don't know my own communication style. ++++

8. I am not able to blend in into new group (work/school) regardless of pt7. It takes years to feel comfortable in new social group. I eat lunches alone and generally don't talk when not asked. +++

9. From my earliest childhood, I have preferred to spend time alone - taking long walks to nowhere just thinking/fantasizing. Or sitting at my desk occupied with a topic/hobby I am currently extremely interested in, very focused. I lose that intereset as quickly as it came +

10. I don't have close relations with my parents and family, I just dodged every personal question. Even "how are you doing?" is that personal +++

11. Hypersensitivity to criticism, what others think of me. +


Here are some sides of my personality that somewhat contradict the above:
------------------------------------------------------------------------

12. I am very emphatic/dramatic. I am easily in tears if I see someone suffer, or see some emotional scene. I try to hide it though and I may appear cold.

13. I do have interest in others and feel the need for friends. It takes usually many years for a relation from knowing someone to being a friend.

14. I can tolerate stressful social (but distant) interactions (eg. job interviews) quite easily. Personal 1on1 discussions with friends/family are still hard.


What is the diagnosis and prognosis? :confused:
Points 1-3 affect me mostly for obvious reasons, everything else is bearable. I do realize I am still having it easier than many of the other posters here, I wish you the best.
I didn't have luck finding anything that matches me 100% in the disorder pages..

many thanks,
Josh
 
Hellhound is correct. We can only speculate and/or comment on our observations/thoughts of what you tell us.

However, ...

Intimacy phobia.

Perhaps SA or SP but everyone needs time to adapt to a new group of people and everyone can't be comfortable in a snap.

Little advice if you'd like...

First, stop thinking about YOU. Think about your WIFE, FRIENDS, FAMILY. Ask them about THEM. Engage conversation with others about things they do, find interesting. Let them feel you and think up questions for you. Don't think so much and don't worry you will be fine.
 
OP doesn't sound schizoid to me at all. AvPD or something similar might fit, though. As a previous poster has pointed out, this is just speculation on my part. You've got a loving wife (lucky you) so for her benefit, consider seeing someone who specializes in AvPD.
 
OP doesn't sound schizoid to me at all. AvPD or something similar might fit, though. As a previous poster has pointed out, this is just speculation on my part. You've got a loving wife (lucky you) so for her benefit, consider seeing someone who specializes in AvPD.

Haha, lucky him indeed.

Doesn't sound schizoid at all, I agree.

There are not too many who do specialize with AvPD. Best bet is to find a psycho doc and work on portions of AvPD (SA/SP, wants but fear holds you back...)
 
Top