Anyone have a rumor spread about you?

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I'm just curious because it happened to me when I was about 16yrs. This girl I had known ever since the 3rd grade spread a horrible one about me that i had AIDS. Never knew why she did it, although some months ago someone showed me on facebook that she brought it up after seeing an old photo of me on facebook that someone posted and left the comment OMFG! The guy that posted the old pic of me said "feel guilty?" and she said something like "thats what she told me" (referring to the rumor) She tells people I told her that, which I never did. First off if I did have a deadly disease I wouldnt have told her..my family would have known and maybe some really close friends, secondly since I didn't have it I wasn't the type to make up lies about myself. This thing has haunted me for years, some people even thought I died! No obituary obviously. People just seem to believe whatever they hear and I find that disturbing. Which is why today I don't trust many people because in the back of my head I fear humiliation like I went through back then, and also that people just believe anything they hear, they don't even ask you if its true or not.
I really think this is one of the underlying reasons for my avoidance and S.P.
Partly what's bringing this to the surface is I joined facebook, and on there it seems like everyone knows everyone so therefore I see people I used to be friends with back then and it just really throws me back to the past and gets my mind reeling..and I worry about the rumor coming up again and destroying the life I have made for myself, I mean I got a decent job, I just got married etc. I don't need that extreme humiliation.

 

[planemo]

I agree, for people to believe everything they hear is pretty disturbing. But I have learnt many valuable lessons in life. For one thing those closest to you, or those who know you a bit about you, are usually your biggest critics. And you really can't please everyone.
I'll give you the example of myself. You'd think it would be hard for people to find fault with someone they don't get to see at all. But no, it happens still. I know this, because once in a blue moon i'm forced to go to a wedding etc, and people bring up things about me, that even i don't remember anymore.

So I wouldn't worry about it. people will be people. they say and do stupid things all the time, and you shouldn't feel bound and threatened by their stupidity. I'm sure people who get to see the real you, will not be persuaded by silly rumours.

 

[DespairSoul]

Hello PhillyFlyersGirl,

OMG that's horrible story. I'm sorry to hear that u had so rough times with saying silly rumors about u which never were the truth=/ Yes a lot of people really believe what they hear i think is just so silly believe something what u hear outside and even don't make your self sure if is true or not and continue in rumor by saying to others. Well people will always doing that no matter what. They need feed them self with some sensation because live would be borig, right or whatever why they are doing this i will never understand! I hope u will be fine and don't come this bad past back to your live because that's just so sad and bad to do it to someone who never had some sickness like that and talk about u that way! People what know u truly and like u will not believe this no sense and that's all what matters!

 

[planemo]

I am so so sorry...I am shocked that people can be so cruel. I have never had a rumor spread about me that I know of, but the pain of rejection during my teen years was enough to cause me to have anxiety. I can't understand what benefit a person would gain by spreading such malicious rumors about someone else. Some people are just totally heartless. I had a hard time making friends with girls in particular for this exact reason, many just love all the drama that comes with rumors and the attention it brings to themselves. I actually had a friend in late middle school who was a very extroverted type that wanted attention so badly she spread a rumor about herself having a miscarriage. I had a really tough time associating with her for a while after that.

I know what you mean about facebook as well..I actually disabled mine last November and told people who noticed it was because finals were coming up and I didn't want to be distracted. In reality I couldn't stand seeing people from my past from back in high school who were a source of my depression when I was a lot happier in the present. I still haven't reactivated my facebook. Social networking sites bother me a lot... when I was in my junior year of high school I googled my first and last name and it linked to a friend's myspace and I saw the exact comment where my name was spelled out and a friend of that girl was making fun of me. Not only was I shocked about the stupidity of that girl talking in an online forum mentioning my first AND last name and thinking I'd never see it, but the fact that my friend didn't say anything back. I already was avoiding socializing with many people as possible at that point, so I don't think they ever picked up that I was giving them the cold shoulder.

Unfortunately it's a common human trait to knock people down, and then feel better about ourselves. It's sad, but true. And the reason why rumours are so fascinating is because it is based on speculation. I think people are fascinated with speculation. You will find people being more enthusiastic about speculation than most other things.

That's the main reason i stay away from FB. It's just the same old socializing that happens in real life, only now happening on the net. If people start false rumours and belittle people irl, the same will (mostly) happen on the net, I think.

 

[nicole1]

Yes. An exboyfriend that I treated terribly. He hated me. So, there was already a rumor brewing so he let it get out of hand and his new gf even helped spread it. I was bullied and laughed at. It caused me to be more introverted and stay at home a lot more. My GPA slipped and I had almost no friends. They were all sexual in nature. A few boys lied and said I did something with them that I didn't. Another tried to make me do something... Only I knew the truth. A few asked and a few believed. By the time I graduated, I found out that no one really liked my ex's new gf and a lot of people just didn't know me or about the rumors or even listened to her when she tried to tell them. Another thing I found is no one really liked her. I was able to move on. But I was still the shy crazy girl. Now that was the one I could agree with a bit. Looking back, I realized I survived.

I think you can, too, if your life is so great. Open up about it to someone and ask someone (someone normal) how would they handle it. They usually have the best advice on this type of thing. Like my bro is my opposite and often he is more outgoing and doesn't get bullied ever.
You should be able to enjoy facebook with out having to worry. And I'd confront her...I wouldn't but it would be nice to, right? Ask her what was her darn problem.

 

[AGR]

Yes before some time ago,that I was gay because I refused to be with girls who I barely knew,AND had been around a lot and also with not so respectable guys, I got scolded really hard among other things,because I am afraid of being cheated on or getting some disease,I used reason to tell people why I didnt want to be with them told I wanted to be alone but they didnt care,to them I am crazy,they dont like to think too much and act on instinct ,I am not like that,I still get scolded sometimes for being alone.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Thank you everyone for your compassion. I was kinda afraid to write about this.
anyone else have a rumor spread about them that was hard to move on from?

 

[kylesesh]

Worst rumour for me was that i apparently raped/ had sex with a 13 year old girl... I'm 18 and it really buggered me off... Both me and the girl in the rumour told her dad that nothing had happened but the damage was done... Its over now but damn... That was bad.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

Worst rumour for me was that i apparently raped/ had sex with a 13 year old girl... I'm 18 and it really buggered me off... Both me and the girl in the rumour told her dad that nothing had happened but the damage was done... Its over now but damn... That was bad.

Yeah that's a bad one, that would be hard to live down. Hopefully your not haunted by that one still..or still here about it.

 

[Kiwong]

That's history