Any ideas? Expanding the social circle

[UnOccupied]

So, on my road to social recovery, I find myself stuck. As I get more comfortable talking to people, including my friends, family, and even strangers, i find I need more. I HATE being alone. And, being home = being alone pretty much. It's just my mom and I, and we both are busy, and she's not enough.

So, i'm looking to expand my social circle here...any ideas? I find myself often going to the library when i'm bored...but, that doesn't really help, because i just look around, and never actually talk to anyone. What are some things I can do where I am engaged and talking to people? I was thinking of volunteering at my church? Sometimes, i go to the mall, but I always get too scared to talk to people there. I think i need a more natural situation to get more comfortable talking to people in.

I have a problem where I get so agitated whenever i'm in front of my computer. I feel like now that I actually "can" talk to people, I get antsy when i'm doing nothing, or not trying my absolute hardest to get out there(i know, its bad, and i need to relax, haha).

Any suggestions?

 

[coyote]

join the YMCA - exercise is good for you, plus you can meet people there

sign up for some classes - there's usually some sort of adult learning center in most communities - or maybe even at the Y

join a club - look for listings posted on the bulletin board at the library or the Y

get married - your spouse will introduce you to all her friends, and you'll never be able to escape

 

[UnOccupied]

Hahaha, i'm only 22 man! I can't be getting married and joining old people exercise programs.

Also, i tried at my library, but all the classes seem stupid, like basket weaving and stuff. I guess that could be cool actually, idk? haha

Come on guys and girls, i know theres plenty of you who have ideas of what you "Want" to do, but just don't do it. What are some of those ideas?

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I am in a similar situation as yourself. I HATE being home in front of the computer, but that is what I end up doing for long amounts of time. It is almost like an addiction.

I can talk to people fine, but when it comes to actually making friendships, well, that is something else. I am living in a new city, but even when I was living in my hometown it was the same thing: I had no friends. What I am hoping to do here now to start me off is volunteering. BUT, I know that for it to be of any help to my social anxiety I am gonna have to put myself "out there": talking, being interested in the others there...making that effort. Or else, it really won't change anything. 'Cause, I used to be a student, and I used to work, but I never did make friends 'cause I would keep to myself.

I know you asked us, but what do you want to do? What do you find interesting? What is something you have always wanted to do? 'Cause I know what I want to do, but that may not work for you

 

[Mr.Prez]

Hahaha, i'm only 22 man! I can't be getting married and joining old people exercise programs.

Also, i tried at my library, but all the classes seem stupid, like basket weaving and stuff. I guess that could be cool actually, idk? haha

Come on guys and girls, i know theres plenty of you who have ideas of what you "Want" to do, but just don't do it. What are some of those ideas?

I'm 27 and doing the drop in classes at the Y is EXACTLY how I expanded my social circle

 

[UnOccupied]

I'm 27 and doing the drop in classes at the Y is EXACTLY how I expanded my social circle

Wait, is "The Y" like slang for YMCA? lol, i've never heard anyone call it that.

I am currently learning the guitar. I love sports(I do play basketball with others a lot actually, but again, rarely have conversations there, not that kind of place i don't think). I like the beach, i like food, i want to volunteer.

 

[OceanMist]

There is work, volunteering, clubs, sports, college (if you can afford it, i can't), dating. That's about it as far as set social situations go. There are a lot of different kinds of clubs out there.

I've had the same issue for the past 5 years if I want to call it an issue. I'm torn because I hate most social situations but I'm human so I still need people. It sucks. I may have an idea of how to make friends but once I get around people I usually just clamp up.

 

[1BlackSheep]

You can volunteer to walk dogs at an animal shelter - dogs can be a great conversation starter! There are also lots of opportunities to volunteer at hospitals, food banks, and homeless shelters.

You might want to try seeing what's available in your area at Volunteer Match: VolunteerMatch - Where Volunteering Begins

Hope you find something you both enjoy and helps expand your social circle!

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Get into sports. Even if you don't want to, you'll meet people.
If you have a climbing gym close to where you live, bouldering is a very social activity and you don't need any gear besides your climbing shoes. Climbing is a bit less social, but still you have to be 2 to do it.
If you prefere sports like tennis, badminton, squash, there is often places where you can find a list of people looking for partners.
You can probably meet a lot of people doing ski or snowboard too.
Or subscribe to a beginner hockey league.

Trust me, you'll see so much people, you're going to be happy coming back to your empty place.

 

[coyote]

Wait, is "The Y" like slang for YMCA? lol, i've never heard anyone call it that.

everyone i know calls it that

and alot of the classes are tough enough to kill "old people"

maybe it's different there

 

[1BlackSheep]

Now I've got the Y-M-C-A song stuck in my head - lol!!!

 

[Hikikomori90]

Hahaha, i'm only 22 man! I can't be getting married and joining old people exercise programs.

Also, i tried at my library, but all the classes seem stupid, like basket weaving and stuff. I guess that could be cool actually, idk? haha

Come on guys and girls, i know theres plenty of you who have ideas of what you "Want" to do, but just don't do it. What are some of those ideas?

Could always start a social phobia rally tihi, I wonder how many of us that would turn up