Always feeling guilty

[pink-moon]

It's upsetting, does anyone else get this? If someone accuses me of something, I automatically feel/look guilty and as a result become very upset and overly profess my innocence. This clearly makes me look even more guilty, as I'm completely overreacting, and so the cycle continues. I was watching a movie on YouTube today, I'd been watching it for about 2 hours when my mum jokingly said "you're looking shifty over there, what are you watching?" and straight away my face flushed, and I thought "oh God, what if I'm watching something I shouldn't be?!" and I actually hid my laptop screen from view, even though there was absolutely nothing to hide. So because she had implied that I was maybe watching something dodgy, I actually began to believe that I was. It makes no sense, and yet it happens all the time. My brain believes anything it's told... well, mainly the negative things. No matter how untrue ::

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Close. I'd say that shame is probably my dominant feeling.

And like you, if I am accused of something, at least part of me (sometimes all) will instantly believe the accuser, in spite of me knowing it wasn't true.

I will also blush bright red at bad things other people think of me, or even what I suspect they think of me, again regardless of truth. Naturally, my blushing for them confirms their suspicions.

Brain problems suck. ::

 

[FOR REAL]

i dont have to feel guilty, i just have to read the charge sheet.

i wouldnt worry though

you know exactly where to go if your feeling down

http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/the-nick-drake-jackson-c-frank-elliott-smith-appreciation-thread-25142/

 

[Square_Eyes]

All the time. I'm extremely conscious of how blushing makes me look guilty in all sorts of circumstances. For example, I'm always terrified that shopkeepers or security guards will see my blushing as a sign of guilt and assume that I've stolen something.

 

[Mokkat]

me too, if Im alone I constantly feel that people will mistake me for a shoplifter because of my paranoid behaviour. I never go shopping

 

[Lost Girl]

It's upsetting, does anyone else get this? If someone accuses me of something, I automatically feel/look guilty and as a result become very upset and overly profess my innocence. This clearly makes me look even more guilty, as I'm completely overreacting, and so the cycle continues. I was watching a movie on YouTube today, I'd been watching it for about 2 hours when my mum jokingly said "you're looking shifty over there, what are you watching?" and straight away my face flushed, and I thought "oh God, what if I'm watching something I shouldn't be?!" and I actually hid my laptop screen from view, even though there was absolutely nothing to hide. So because she had implied that I was maybe watching something dodgy, I actually began to believe that I was. It makes no sense, and yet it happens all the time. My brain believes anything it's told, actually, only the negative things... no matter how untrue ::

I used to feel like this - whenever something went wrong I somehow found it to be completely my fault. I also used to take on everyone elses problems around me like they were my own, constantly worrying. No free gold for guessing where that came from though - my father blamed EVERYTHING on me. Marrying my stepmother, my existence, his struggles, if something broke, if anything went wrong, the fights he had with my stepmum...I would get beat up, verbaly abused, or worse told to stand in the corner while he stared at me with pure hatred for hours while he laid in bed or watched tv.

 

[Pink_Paula]

I used to feel like this - whenever something went wrong I somehow found it to be completely my fault. I also used to take on everyone elses problems around me like they were my own, constantly worrying. No free gold for guessing where that came from though - my father blamed EVERYTHING on me. Marrying my stepmother, my existence, his struggles, if something broke, if anything went wrong, the fights he had with my stepmum...I would get beat up, verbaly abused, or worse told to stand in the corner while he stared at me with pure hatred for hours while he laid in bed or watched tv.

Oh wow, i'm so sorry you went through that, i had similar experiences with my dad, he was a horrible man who believed that the way to get respect was to beat it out of me and belittle me until i believed what he said. I'm luck though my dad is dead now, i know that sounds heartless but when he died i just felt relief ::

 

[Lost Girl]

Oh wow, i'm so sorry you went through that, i had similar experiences with my dad, he was a horrible man who believed that the way to get respect was to beat it out of me and belittle me until i believed what he said. I'm luck though my dad is dead now, i know that sounds heartless but when he died i just felt relief ::

! That sounds like my dad! It does sound heartless, but I do feel the same way about my dad, but mine is sort of more heartless because he is still alive! I haven't spoken to him in two years now, but my stepmother and brother still live with him but my stepmum just doesn't have the courage to leave him. I secretly wish to myself often that he would just die of a heart attack or something. (Geez that sounds even more horrible out loud and typed). But like you say, it would just be a relief, my stepmother could finally be happy, my brother could become the young man that he has the potential to be. I could probably learn to love my dad a little again if he passed, like I could sort of put the bad memories and things still going on to rest, and remember him for the good side of him.
But right now...I just can't. He has so badly tainted the future of all his 6 kids, his 3 wives, all of us have been so badly affected by our time spent with him. It's just too much too forgive, especially since the stuff that damaged us all so badly is still going on, albeit not as bad.

 

[PhillyFlyersGrl]

I was thinking about posting a thread about guilt. I think guilt is one of the worst and sometimes wasteful human emotions. Most people feel guilty for nothing.
I get consumed by guilt more then any other emotion for no reason, I mean I literally feel like Im drowning in it. It sucks.
I remember a few years ago I was at a bar with a couple of friends and one of them looked over at me in the midst of everything and said "you look guilty" I didn't question him about, I kind of ignored the comment but its has haunted me since like "what did he mean by that" I think maybe sometimes I look sheepish..but I guess people think also you look guilty when your sheepish don't know lol. Like I shy and cower away from things..

 

[xxaimsxx]

When im accused of things i havnt done noone believes me because i constantly look guilty and quiet. I dont like being shouted at or acussed. So this leads me to go on about it protesting my innocence for the rest of the day!

If i take something from the kitchen like food i'll sometimes hide it in my pocket to make me not look greedy (even though im not overweight). Instead of just showing people what i have.

Dunno why! i get you. sometimes you start to believe your in the wrong.

 

[Luthien]

It's upsetting, does anyone else get this? If someone accuses me of something, I automatically feel/look guilty and as a result become very upset and overly profess my innocence. This clearly makes me look even more guilty, as I'm completely overreacting, and so the cycle continues. I was watching a movie on YouTube today, I'd been watching it for about 2 hours when my mum jokingly said "you're looking shifty over there, what are you watching?" and straight away my face flushed, and I thought "oh God, what if I'm watching something I shouldn't be?!" and I actually hid my laptop screen from view, even though there was absolutely nothing to hide. So because she had implied that I was maybe watching something dodgy, I actually began to believe that I was. It makes no sense, and yet it happens all the time. My brain believes anything it's told, actually, only the negative things... no matter how untrue ::

From what little you've said, it sounds like your mother's words and actions towards you are often accusatory. Perhaps you've gone through your childhood with comments like "you're looking shifty over there" being more prevalent than a simple "what are you doing?".

It's really common to hear things like this when you are very young and instantly blame yourself or think perhaps you're doing something wrong, because children seek love and praise and try to reason as to why they're not getting it. Then, as we get older, these old habits and ideas stick around, even though they may seem like nonsense to us as adults.

My theory is that you've heard these sort of accusations your whole life and have internalized this feeling of guilt and that you're doing things wrong all the time. One way to deal with it would be to tell your mother how it makes you feel when she talks to you in this way, if she's receptive to your feelings maybe she'll stop. It can also really help just to know where the pattern comes from, once you've recognized the cause of it, it's easier to assure yourself that it's not true. So you can notice in the moment that you're feeling guilty or ashamed and try to tell yourself "There is no reason to be ashamed, I have done nothing wrong and I am a good person!!!!!"