Alone in public

[Looking_in105]

do you guys get embarrassed or fear being alone in public? I'm afraid that when people I know or semi-know see me by myself alone in a shop, out at lunch and so on, they would think less of me, like im a loser or something. or they might pity me and i hate that...::

 

[deleted user 1]

I kind of felt like that when I was much younger, but I think that was more to do with my age group at that time, as young kids particularly cleave to large groups. Though I can still emphathise with how you feel. But, I have been told before that people automatically assume that I'll be on my own, as I like to be on my own a lot. This being as in a general opinion rather than a negative, as they known that this is my preference. I suppose it would depend on how you are perceived by others, looking anxious and disgruntled may give the impression that you do not want company. Those that know you more may read it differently. But in my experience, people do not normally think less of you, unless they already don't like you, in which case they'll see something bad in everything you say or do regardless of how faultless you may be, lol. I'd recommend you just relaxe, and don't over analyse everything. Easier said and done I know.

 

[Looking_in105]

Yeh, i think it depends on age alot. I think the older you are, the less you care about it. It seems like young people should always be found in groups, and therefore you see all teenagers in large groups at the shops.

I think this problem may affect "normal" people too. It is so often I see people looking at their mobiles, constantly looking at their ipods etc. when they are by themselves. and I always see them look up CONSTANTLY perhaps looking if people are looking at them. I think using their phone gives off a sign that they have friends. I dunno. Of course they could be popular and have so many people to text they really do need to use their phone... these people i see are usually younger too.

i also have this fear of being seen in public by myself because i fear that i might run into a person i have a crush on, or that im trying to impress, and i dont want to look like a loser in front of them. so therefore if im seen walking with other people, they might like me more or something because they see that there are people who like me.... sad i know (

 

[Kiwong]

I think I fear not be alone in public. I'm fine in my own company.

 

[deleted user 1]

I think I fear not be alone in public. I'm fine in my own company.

I'm with you on that Kiwong. Though there are instances where being along can be daunting, such as waiting at a bar or restaurant for someone to arrive, and they are late! These places are specifically geared towards social interaction, thus you feel like you are under the microscope in these instances. But for the most part, I prefer to be on my own.

 

[Looking_in105]

Me too actually. I like being on my own for the most part. its just what people think of me is what is worrying me.

 

[Richey]

yeh i used to be like that, in fact i used to drive to the shops and not even get out of the car which is a panic attack i suppose. i'd get there and look around then i'd notice all these really cool looking people walking around everywhere with a friend or in groups and i'd just freak out especially in summer ...

i dont do that anymore but i do have moments where if i walk around at the shops i keep looking to see if people are looking at me and that makes me sort of freaked
out ..

actually one time i went to this restaurant alone and a girl i used to like worked there as a waitress, she looked a bit different and she served me, i sort of freaked and pretended that i didnt know her, we only talked 2-3 times on 3 seperate days a few years before hand ...i just had a complete mind blank and also she pretended she didnt know me, so in the end we both acted the same ...


but i walked out thinking "of all awkward things that could have happend" ...

anyway that's life sometimes.

i keep thinking everyone is judging or something ...

 

[Looking_in105]

yeh i used to be like that, in fact i used to drive to the shops and not even get out of the car which is a panic attack i suppose. i'd get there and look around then i'd notice all these really cool looking people walking around everywhere with a friend or in groups and i'd just freak out especially in summer ...

yep, im known to do that...

actually one time i went to this restaurant alone and a girl i used to like worked there as a waitress, she looked a bit different and she served me, i sort of freaked and pretended that i didnt know her, we only talked 2-3 times on 3 seperate days a few years before hand ...i just had a complete mind blank and also she pretended she didnt know me, so in the end we both acted the same ...

eeeeek! * gets nauseous* i get so so so upset after that happens. i like replay the moment over and over again. ::

 

[Kiwong]

I would have trouble waiting at bars and restuarants too, Aristocrat. I do not expose myself to those kind of places, alone or with a group

 

[OneOh1]

on my own, im too caught up in my own thoughts to care (i force myself to think about other things to prevent anxiety).

when im with other people i feel at ease and accepted

 

[Falkor]

I did felt that way. But not anymore, because I know it's an irrational thought. Because so many people go to the store on their own.
We are afraid of people judging us, but you don't even know these people.
So they don't know about your social anxiety, they only know that you are visiting the same store and looking around.

By the way, I don't go to a bar on my own, because I will feel uncomfortable.
Although I would love to feel OK with that. and practice that.
A little exposure therapy lol. But I think its also great to take someone with you.
But its just all in our mind, people won't think wrong about you.
Xx Flowergirlie

 

[JamesSmith]

Of course I've heard the occasional, "haha, he's by himself and has no friends." But, what I don't get is how the heck do they know that I'm not hanging out with my friends currently. I see other people my age alone all of the time and they don't get people making fun of them. Maybe they can tell I'm shy so they are making assumptions, who knows. It's just there hasn't been one time where I looked at a peer that was going somewhere alone and said I bet that person is a loser and has no friends. Are these people psychic?

 

[spect01]

I am invisible to most of the outside public.

 

[realities]

I do, I do fear getting seen alone shopping by people whom know me. But what to do, I don't get asked out by people, so I go ahead and do it myself. Sometimes while outside I do get overwhelmed with insecurity,sadness and feel intimidated by well-dressed people/teenagers in groups, then I head home immediately feeling like a loser.