Xervello
Well-known member
For those who don't know me (what, I'm not famous yet!?) I have SAD (I feel like I should be standing up for this story) and am a recluse. I hardly ever leave the house. But I'm a huge exercise nut. With a shy, nougaty center. And jogging in public has always been embarrassing, therefore a no-no. But I have tried on a few occasions. Let me re-enact my last experience with it and perhaps some of you can relate. Or laugh. Whichever is helpful. 
For me, I don't like being seen by others. So when I have tried going for a run I always do so at night in the early morning. Around 3, 4 a.m. I live in a tiny suburb in the country. So once I get past a few rows of houses I'm able to get to the backroads where I can jog along alone where it's just me and my overactive imagination. Seriously, try jogging down a deserted country road at night where it's pitchblack except for a thin, sliver of light from the moon above. It's spooky! But first I have to get there. Which means I have to jog past a couple blocks of houses. And unfortunately almost every damned house has a dog in the yard. So naturally anything that moves sets 'em off. Which makes me wince. I'm so paranoid about disturbing others, waking people up, people peeking through their windows at me thinking, "who's that creep?" that I don't even begin running until I hit the backroads. I quietly walk, the bulk of my weight placed on my toes with each step, until I reach the last house. And then vroom! I'm off! I take off in a cloud of smoke...
...not really. There's still a few, distantly spaced houses on the backroads. So I'm still a little paranoid about the whole disturbing aspect. As well as paranoid that a cop car will drive past, flash their light in my eye and inquire, "son, don't you know it's 3 in the morning? What are you doing here? What are you running FROM, hmm?" Okay, that might not happen, but I'd still get a look from them probably. So, being paranoid about making a lot of noise, I limit my breathing which makes running difficult. And then wouldn't you know it... MORE dogs. Apparently this one house down the road from me just built a kennel for cute, lil' pooches. So as I run past the house they start barking. ALL of them. And I'm thinking, "oh lord" and make a scrunched up face (while I put my breathing on mute) as I pass. So about 100 yards later, the dogs finally shut up and then I realize, "oh crap, I'm gonna have to turn around and go past AGAIN." So, yeah. Fortunately no house lights turned on. The few cars that passed didn't swerve into me and knock me into the ditch (which is always my fear) and I didn't see a single soul throughout the entire morning. And still... it was awful. I was too anxious to enjoy the run (not that I ever enjoy it, but you know what I mean) and still replayed certain moments over and over in my head once I got home.
Is anyone else this comically mental? For your sakes, I hope not. Anyway, as nice as the fresh air is I settle for the indoors. I use a high intensity combination routine for cardio. It's more impactful than running, actually, but still there's nothing like fresh air and the sounds and smells of nature. By the way, a few times jogging down the backroads I'd hear noises stirring in the woods nearby. Not only am I avoiding people, cars and barking dogs, I'm also paranoid about bears, rabid coyotes or werewolves. Those could exist, you dunno! Honestly though, if it weren't for people I'd be outside 24/7. I love nature. It's a shame I can't enjoy it. *Sigh*
For me, I don't like being seen by others. So when I have tried going for a run I always do so at night in the early morning. Around 3, 4 a.m. I live in a tiny suburb in the country. So once I get past a few rows of houses I'm able to get to the backroads where I can jog along alone where it's just me and my overactive imagination. Seriously, try jogging down a deserted country road at night where it's pitchblack except for a thin, sliver of light from the moon above. It's spooky! But first I have to get there. Which means I have to jog past a couple blocks of houses. And unfortunately almost every damned house has a dog in the yard. So naturally anything that moves sets 'em off. Which makes me wince. I'm so paranoid about disturbing others, waking people up, people peeking through their windows at me thinking, "who's that creep?" that I don't even begin running until I hit the backroads. I quietly walk, the bulk of my weight placed on my toes with each step, until I reach the last house. And then vroom! I'm off! I take off in a cloud of smoke...
...not really. There's still a few, distantly spaced houses on the backroads. So I'm still a little paranoid about the whole disturbing aspect. As well as paranoid that a cop car will drive past, flash their light in my eye and inquire, "son, don't you know it's 3 in the morning? What are you doing here? What are you running FROM, hmm?" Okay, that might not happen, but I'd still get a look from them probably. So, being paranoid about making a lot of noise, I limit my breathing which makes running difficult. And then wouldn't you know it... MORE dogs. Apparently this one house down the road from me just built a kennel for cute, lil' pooches. So as I run past the house they start barking. ALL of them. And I'm thinking, "oh lord" and make a scrunched up face (while I put my breathing on mute) as I pass. So about 100 yards later, the dogs finally shut up and then I realize, "oh crap, I'm gonna have to turn around and go past AGAIN." So, yeah. Fortunately no house lights turned on. The few cars that passed didn't swerve into me and knock me into the ditch (which is always my fear) and I didn't see a single soul throughout the entire morning. And still... it was awful. I was too anxious to enjoy the run (not that I ever enjoy it, but you know what I mean) and still replayed certain moments over and over in my head once I got home.
Is anyone else this comically mental? For your sakes, I hope not. Anyway, as nice as the fresh air is I settle for the indoors. I use a high intensity combination routine for cardio. It's more impactful than running, actually, but still there's nothing like fresh air and the sounds and smells of nature. By the way, a few times jogging down the backroads I'd hear noises stirring in the woods nearby. Not only am I avoiding people, cars and barking dogs, I'm also paranoid about bears, rabid coyotes or werewolves. Those could exist, you dunno! Honestly though, if it weren't for people I'd be outside 24/7. I love nature. It's a shame I can't enjoy it. *Sigh*
