A year an a half later and I still can't get over it

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da_illest101

Well-known member
I'm trying my best to get over my former friend, but it just doesn't seem to work. I have down moments where I don't think at all about her, but I also have high periods where I dream at night of her. Getting over it during day time is one thing, but I can't control what I dream of. So far I never met anyone that I was so closed to and sadly I can't stop comparing her to my new friends or people I meet, but they are just not like her. Even facebook made worse when they showed her in my people you may know.

The worse thing is that i'm sure if she would try to speak to me I would just tell her to $#%& off, but there is also the other part that would yell I missed you. I think I'm just missing having that type of connection with someone, not the actual person.

I'm just frustrated about it
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
Sounds like you're comparing everyone else you meet to this friend. I think what has happened is that in the time she's been out of your life, you've been trying to fill the void with someone who's a lot like her, and you have come away disappointed each time.

It seems like she was one hell of a friend to you. I had a similar female friend in 2009. It was devastating when she left my life, and I was upset for quite a while (even my parents noticed it), but eventually I had to move on and that's what I did. I still keep in touch with her when I can, but the important thing is to move on.

What is stopping you from moving on? Is it because she was that good of a friend? Is it because you are now lonely? What's the matter?
 
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da_illest101

Well-known member
I think because I want someone like how she was. When I talk to some of my most recent friends, I simply don't see them as been able to fill the void she left. It would be selfish for me to stop talking to someone simply because they are not her.

I can try to remember only the good parts because that's what i miss, but seriously we are not friends anymore for good reasons and I should keep on remembering that.
 
MikeyC

MikeyC

Well-known member
She must've been one hell of a friend. Why are you two no longer talking? What happened?

You shouldn't forget the good times, and to try to will be impossible. What you have to do is accept that said good times are in the past and you may even get something like that again in the future.
 
Srijita52

Srijita52

Well-known member
I have similar problems with a friend. He was so awesome and for a long time I've been trying to fill the void by looking for someone just like him. I've been comparing him to everyone I meet as well, untill I realised there's no use. It helped me to know that my friends are special in their own way. They're not like him, neither can I expect them to be. But by expecting everyone to be just like him I'm missing out on other people who could be wonderful friends if I gave them a chance. I hope you find someone like her, but if not, you've got to move on. Maybe you'll find someone great, but not necessarily someone who reminds you of her.
 
THeCARS1979

THeCARS1979

Well-known member
da_illest101 said:
I think because I want someone like how she was. When I talk to some of my most recent friends, I simply don't see them as been able to fill the void she left. It would be selfish for me to stop talking to someone simply because they are not her.

I can try to remember only the good parts because that's what i miss, but seriously we are not friends anymore for good reasons and I should keep on remembering that.
Click to expand...

Why arent you friends anymore can I ask?
 
Kat

Kat

Well-known member
yeah, I can't imagine really I haven't had many friends to grow that kind of bond with but I doubt I'd be able to get over if anything happened between me and my bf. You seem like a great guy so hopefully you will find a someone you can be close with.
 
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mrlonely1

Member
You and I are on the same boat. Except for me its been 5 or 6 years and I can't get over her. So far, she is the only friend that brought the best of me, the only one that I was really comfortable with. Like you said its hard to move on cause for me a certain perfume smell, a song, or a dream well make me remind me of the good old days with her. I don't know what to do. I wanna talk to her again but I feel like I'm only gonna make things worst. Only thing we can do is keep trying to move on. I don't regret nothing in my life except that one day that ended our relationship.
 
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liveindreams

Member
Sadly, it just takes time. Which is pretty frustrating.

I went through something similar. I was in love w/ a friend and desperately wanted more from her, but she did not see me like that and it just ripped us apart. I cried all the time for months.

I haven't seen/talked to her in 6 years and I'm 99% over it. It took work. It took strength. I think you need just need to move on (way easier said than done, I know) and try to meet new people. That's the best advice I have.
 
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da_illest101

Well-known member
Yea the moving on part hasn't been going well lately at all. The urge to message her is getting so strong, yet I know it would be a freaking disaster if I did.
 
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liveindreams

Member
I know exactly what you mean. I've messaged several ppl that hurt me and/or abandoned me, which made everything worse because they ignored me. I get the urge to message ppl all the time that I know will be a disaster. I try to focus my energy on something else and that usually helps.
 
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