A thought about Social Anxiety

[Waybuloo]

Today I had an assessment interview with a psychiatric nurse for referral onwards to specialist help. I was not very anxious at the beginning of the interview, I am used to talking about my problems and that was just like a rehearsal for a script I've said many times. But as we started talking I became more anxious and self conscious, especially when she made conversation and became more personable. To her that might be making me more at ease, but I had to be more conversational whilst masking increasing anxiety.

It occurred to me that the more I talk to someone, or the more I get to know someone, the more distant I become, and the more anxiety I experience. I wsa under the impression that in principle, socially anxious people get less anxious the more they talk to someone or do something. It occurred to me that maybe this isn't social anxiety but anxiety of getting close to people. Maybe that is why my 5 tries at CBT did not work out.

Sometimes I am at ease talking to a stranger, but am completely awkward talking to a friend I know for years. Is anyone else like me? Is anyone better the more they get to know people? Regardless, what are your thoughts on it?

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

Still sounds like social anxiety to me.

I am used to talking about my problems and that was just like a rehearsal for a script I've said many times. But as we started talking I became more anxious and self conscious, especially when she made conversation and became more personable. To her that might be making me more at ease, but I had to be more conversational whilst masking increasing anxiety.

Yeah, from a script is easier--I have my stock phrases for small talk out the check out counter and such. Seems natural to be more anxious if you have to wing it--more chance of screwing it up (in your head).

It occurred to me that the more I talk to someone, or the more I get to know someone, the more distant I become, and the more anxiety I experience. I wsa under the impression that in principle, socially anxious people get less anxious the more they talk to someone or do something. It occurred to me that maybe this isn't social anxiety but anxiety of getting close to people. Maybe that is why my 5 tries at CBT did not work out.

Sometimes I am at ease talking to a stranger, but am completely awkward talking to a friend I know for years. Is anyone else like me?

The more you get to know someone, the more important they are, also the deeper the conversation the more important, so again there's the anxiety of screwing up something important. It increases the pressure.

Is anyone better the more they get to know people?

I've experienced what you're describing, but I'm the most at ease around the friends that I've had forever. Maybe it's because I managed to muddle through a phase with them somehow.

 

[Waybuloo]

I've experienced what you're describing, but I'm the most at ease around the friends that I've had forever. Maybe it's because I managed to muddle through a phase with them somehow.

I was better at the friendship thing when I was in primary school. High school came and I was in shock, I don't think I got over the shock by the time I graduated. It just got worse in uni and now it's really bad, I can't feel emotions for people. When I met my primary school best friend in uni, I was as awkward with her as i am with everyone else, it's like we just got introduced or something.