A Place to Introduce Yourself

[StillHoping]

Hi. I'm new not only to this forum, but to Internet forums in general. So, please give me gentle instructions if I'm not doing the post thing correctly.

I have been totally disabled with Social Phobia since 1991; have been in therapy since 1978, but haven't found a therapist who treats it anything like some of the more hope-filled books talk about. Systematic de-sensitization and all that. Anyway, am hoping to get some insights from you guys here on this forum; it sounds like some of you have made promising progress.

I live in the northwest region of the USA.

 

[JJenny]

Hi, I'm new here but certainly not new to fear of social judgement and all the phobia that has come with it and my avoidance of life. I feel comfortable saying this here, but of course I am safe with you all. My offline relationships are made up of 'safe' people too. I am tired of fighting this affliction and knowing I am the one who created it and the only one who can free myself from it seems pretty daunting at this point in my journey. So why I am here is to seek support and camaraderie from others who know exactly what it is like to walk in my shoes, but this is not a long term place in my life I want to remain in, even though it has been a part of me for so very long and I have worked it well to keep it hidden.
I send my love out to all of you as we work towards a more comfortable and freer and authentic life for ourselves. xxxxxx Love and blessings, Jenny xxx

 

[Boundless]

Hello jenny,welcome to this great forum,hope you enjoy your stay!

Wow i sound like a automated responce unit :lol:

 

[chitty]

hi, im new (duh!) i havent been diagnosed with sp but im sure its what my problem is, i havent even talked to my mom about it i brought it up in a conversation once but she just laughed it off, she thought i was joking. i had this problem in grade school and by high school i was fine but i graduated last year and i am currently in college. i just cant handle all of the new people that dont know me or how i am. i desperately want to make friends with people here, but i avoid any social situation where i dont know anyone very well. and i always worry about what people think of me.

 

[Boundless]

Hello chitty,welcome to this great forum,hope you enjoy your stay!

Wow i sound like a automated responce unit :lol:


Btw mums suck for chats about SA i know -_-

 

[markenfields]

Hi everyone,

I've had problems wth social phobia for about six years now, but it's escalated pretty quickly ever since then. I've always had trouble with meeting new people, but I was always able to deal with it until I got into high school. For me, high school was a nightmare - I started off very well, being part of the football team, involved in a lot of clubs and church activities. However, around the middle of my sophomore year, my body started to change and I started to perceive deformities in my face. Lots of people tell me that they don't notice anything is wrong when they first meet me, but it is still always on my mind. My jaw grew significantly in high school and made my facial appearance seem crooked (I now need to get surgery for it - not cosmetic sugery - maxillofacial surgery because its a potentially dangerous condition).

After that, everything feel to pieces. I stopped playing football because I was starting to get very self-conscious around people. When it came to discussing in class, I would always keep to myself even though I knew I had good things to say - I didn't want people looking at me. I started to lose friends because I was so self-conscious that I didn't laugh or joke around like I used to. Around my junior year, I stopped hanging out with friends altogether and spent every lunch and break time in my car by myself. I was really scared of people. I also missed a lot of school my senior year because of this.

I got accepted into a great university and met a lot of great people who tried to stick with me and help me out, but eventually my nervousness and self-consciousness would always get the best of me. I would think that everyone thought that I was a monster or something (I know this is only in my head, people always tell me otherwise). I stopped talking to all of these great people that I met and cut myself off from everyone because I was so anxious around other people.

Last year it got so bad that I started having panic attacks at school. I would go to class and then just freak out and want to hide in a hole where no one could find me for a really, really long time. Then I started having obsessive suicidal thoughts and finally went to a psychiatrist for medication. I was on Zoloft for six months and that really helped me out to the point where I felt like I was all better. I stopped taking the medication without my psychiatrist's permission - big mistake. Please, do not ever stop taking your meds without your psychiatrist's permission even if you think you are well!

Fast forward four months later and guess what? I'm anxious again. But now its worse than ever. I don't want to go to school, cannot look my roommates in the eye, am afraid to face my family, stuck in my small apartment all alone everyday talking to no one. Then I go see a psychiatrist and he recommends Prozac. Turns out Prozac makes me infinitely more anxious - I go bonkers! I can't sleep, I can't stop moving around, and I can't stop thinking about how anxious I am. I have to be hospitalized and am stuck in a mental institute/prison for five days with other suicidal people.

Now I'm back on Zoloft, but I have no friends and no one to talk to. I'm so afraid to go out, but I'm dying cause I'm so lonely and frustrated that I can't connect with people anymore. It's beyond my looks. I just cannot be comfortable around people anymore.

I'm glad I found this forum and I finaly feel like there are others who feel my pain. Sorry for the long reply.....had to get a lot off my chest!

 

[vanessa]

i 'm 23 and married and i am afraid of social situations and have no friends i never speak with relatives because they are smarter than me i dont want them to find out i'm crazy iwould right more but i feel frustrated writing i cant do anything i get anxious quickly

 

[young]

hi!

This is my little intro speach. It's really fun and witty. I hope you enjoy it. Well, that's about all... for now...

dun dun dun... 8O

 

[Hurricane]

welcome young, make sure you tell us your story in a new topic

 

[hidleydidleydot]

dont be sorry its solong

I read your introduction and are lives are similiar ive recently moved to new york from nc and before that i lived in florida im 17 . I see you take an interest in pfloyd who else do you listen too? me, led zeppelin black sabbath all off it well email me if your interested to talk my names heidi i guess i should have said that first the only advice to give you now is Your life passes by while your busy planning it

 

[LeapFrog]

I sorta already made my intro in my "My Life" topic a few posts down, but, hello nonetheless

 

[Jeannie21]

Hi everyone,

I am 22, taking music at university. It is so hard going to university having SA. I find myself wanting to quit all the time, but for some reason, I keep going.

I love this site! It is comforting knowing there are so many others like me.

 

[Kalima]

Hi
Lunch is a nighmare at school. When I chew, I critize myself. I go crazy asking myself "am i chewing right?" "are people watching the way I chew?". I can't even get up to throw my trash away. I have to plan out getting up and walking to the trashcan. I watch everyone with their friends I wish I could be like them; carefree. Not worrying about EVERY aspect of EVERYTHING. Even colors of stupid things like pencils, I worry about that. Sometimes I think if I choose the wrong color, everything will go wrong.

Dana
I can completely relate to what you're saying. I used to feel like I had to literally plan everything out in my mind so as to do everything "perfectly" in a sense but of course that only leads to more problems. I think you should put up a contact email so people can get in touch with you. I can really really relate and I'm sure others here can as well. Don't give up the fight. You can do it!

 

[earth200aleg]

Hi im 17 iv had panic attacks sence i was 14 i only recently found out they were panic attacks yesterday i get to the point of vomiting and somtimes do im hoping to get a medication to help next phycologist apointment i worry about everything i also think everything i do have to be exatly perfect.

 

[Joszax]

Hello Everybody!

I'm a twenty year old college senior, and I definitely have social phobia.

To put it shortly, I was an introvert since birth, but my anxiety didn't really begin until the end of eighth grade. During ninth grade, my anxiety kicked in fully, and in tenth grade my few remaining friends, more or less, vanished.

The rest of high school wasn't that fun. I did what I had to do to get by, but pangs of anxiety shoot through my arms and legs til my whole body was shaking. I developed a inferiority complex and constantly scrutinized myself after most social situations. I began eating alone, and I tried to hide from everyone the best I could. You all know the self-defeating cycle. I believe my SA hurt most aspects in my life. Instead of learning german in class, I was thinking "oh god don't call on me!" At the end of the day, I'd often slack on my work trying to compensate for my lousy day with sleep, books, tv, and games. I was too afraid to go out and meet new people. I kept on telling myself how stupid and worthless I was. I became seriously depressed and suicidal. Luckily, I think I did a good job hiding that last part when expressing the situation to my doctor. I began taking paxil which helped alittle but most times felt about as useful as a placebo. I switched to dual enrollment program at a community college in the hope my anxiety was mostly due to high school itself. Turns out it wasn't. I went to College in hope that dorm life would push me out of my harmful habits. It didn't help much. I had my moments through all of this, and I even improved in some regards, but most of the time I was misreable.

Then last summer I somehow managed to have a blast. I don't want to go into details here, but I felt like I somehow ended my anxiety once and for all. Then I moved back into an on campus dorm, and my anxiety, and habits, came back in full force.

Hell, I'm kind of anxious writing this, but through my years of have social anxiety, I have never seen so many with the same problem, but It's kind of relieving. That is unless your all bots :wink:

 

[still-in-my-shell]

Hi everyone!

Wow, so many people here- so why do I feel like I'm the only shy freak in a world of extroverts?

I've had social anxiety forever, agoraphobia for a few years (not anymore), I am 31, a mother, graphic artist, nervous hamster.

 

[young]

hello.... everyone here is nice..

remember don't feed us after midnight. don't expose us to water or sunlight.

and you'll be just fine.

 

[Nadine]

hello,

my name is nadine and i'm 22 years old. my english isn't very good, but i hope you understand me...

i just found this page and it's very interesting to read all this SP storys from all over the world.. it's almost unbelievable that so many people have the same problem, but you never meet somebody in your neighborhood/area...

i was very shy when i had to go to the "kindergarten" and had some problems there, but the "real" social phobia started/began when i was 13/14.. then (when i was 15/16) i stopped going to school.

since this time (almost 6 years now :/ ) i'm at home with my parents, don't meet friends and even don't go out for shopping (or something else..) because i am afraid to meet former classmates/friends,
i wouldn't know what i could tell them, what i am doing now and so... it's really terrible :/

i started three training programms and an evening school course for adults, but i wasn't able to finish them.

i made also two psychotherapies (the first lasted for 3 years) but they didn't help me so much..

i really don't know what to do now...

i would be happy if somebody wants to write me (email), to talk about this problems and to improve my english (because i havn't write in english since my last english lesson at school )

kind greetings to all of you,
nadine : )

 

[Willas]

A Quick Introduction...

Hi Everyone,

My name's Will, I'm 23 years old, I live in the UK and I'm a Software Developer. I have suffered from social anxiety for around the last 5 years and mild to moderate OCD for as long as I can remember. I attribute most of my problems to my upbringing.

I've never been to a doctor about my problems; ironically my SA 'prevents' me from doing so. My SA has gradually got worse and worse over the past couple of years and I'm now at a point where I have virtually no friends and have no desire to socialise with what friends I have left.

For me, the prospect of meeting new people and attempting to hold a conversation with them terrifies me - my heart races, I blush and I feel intense anxiety & panic. Apart from my immediate family and very few friends, this applies in any situation, particularly when I have to speak to someone who I consider to be an authority figure. I go out of my way not to speak to people at work and most of the time I will take drastic measures to avoid situations (meetings, presentations etc.) that might make me look like an idiot. When I absolutely have to face such situations, my nervousness always gets the better of me; I cannot speak properly, I cannot listen to what is being said and I must come over as a complete idiot. I also try extremely hard not to upset people in fear of receiving negative criticism.

I've had a look through some of the other posts in the forum and it makes me feel so much better that other people experience the same feelings as me.

Anyway, I'll stop babbling on now

Will.

 

[Chechirom]

Wow you guys are great....freeing yourself of the burdens you are all carrying is a courageous first step. Congratulations. The joy of seeing all these brave people admit to the world they want to improve themselves is making me cry(I am an 18 year old male, 6'3",185 lbs), can you imagine me crying Welcome everyone! We can do this....NEVER GIVE UP!!!!

Well my introduction will be a short bio I suppose. I am 18 freshman in college. Originally from New Orleans, moved up to PA to go to college (thought the change would help change me....not yet, but I will change I have a burning desire to and I can do it). I really get nervous when in class awaiting my turn to speak. Anything planned that involves public speaking breaks me down to the point where I can't speak without losing breath having a fast heart beat, and blushing. I just go into the fight or flight mode and my higher brain fucntions just shut off. I often lose breath suddenly and can't finish a word I started. I raise my hand in clase often and I participate that way, but like I said if it is planned that I am to speak I just break down.
I also have this thing where I think everyone judges me severly and I can't get over the idea that everyone is looking just at me. An example is if I hear someone laugh I immediately thing they are laughing at me. I try and talk to others, but I ussually end up worrying about what to say and think I am just rambling on and boring them. They ussually talk to me again, but I don't get over that I thought I was boring last time and limit myself even more. I am thinking I am rambling now so I'll cut this off.
I suppose it is important for me to say that I read everyone's post, every word, none were too long or too boring; in fact none were boring at all. I could relate to each and everyone of you and it filled me with the sense of comraderie. Everyone, Anyone please do not hesitate to email me, we need to be able to talk with each other before we can talk to others. I believe it is a very important thing to have someone to talk to through this. My email is [email protected]. I will answer anyone and everyone and hopefully we can become friends. Good luck to everyone, be brave. Ben